Are we being stingy?

[Lones80]

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks, DD is 1 shortly after and then there are only three weeks until Christmas. We expect that between them they will get a mountain of toys from family and friends.

We're planning on getting DS a Knights' castle for his birthday and a balance bike plus stocking filler for Christmas and DD a Fisher Price door for her birthday and a trike plus stocking fillers for Christmas. Both will get PJs for Christmas Eve.

However, I've been to the other parenting website for the first time today. There's a thread where people have taken photos of all the gifts for their DC and the number of gifts some people have bought is staggering to me.

As they both have winter birthdays we buy small toys and gifts throughout the year. We are trying not to spoil them, but are we being too stingy?

You must be tired Laura, really hope you manage to get a peaceful night.
You are a mum doing what mums do - their best!
There are always people who will knock others, I admit to being aghast when I heard a lady had bought a 2 year old an I-pad, now I know the reason and it makes sense.
There are some really nice and supportive people on Mumsnet though, don't write us all off will you?
Take care

I have Redbull, coffee and tea on tap Grumpyoldblonde....it works wonders haha.

TBH, before I had DS2 I was a little the same as you, DS1 is very much into his Lego & figures so didn't feel the need to introduce technology until Last Christmas when he got the xbox (not this Christmas so the other lady doesnt even know what she's talking about, it's a kinect he is getting this year). But since DS2's health started to go down hill last year I didn't know what else to try.

No no no not at all! Like I said, I hadn't heard of you ladies over here in your Christmas forum until today and then I came online while DS2 was sleeping and was like 'woah!' so I responded and got some lovely replies (which I really wasn't expecting after reading this thread), so there are definitely some lovely mummies on here (yourself included)....so may stick around a little, Although Im probably not wanted by the Grinch's :-D

Thank you again, its nice to have someone stick up for me x

You are definitely wanted over here laura

The more christmas fanatics the better! In real life everyone thinks I'm mad talking about christmas so soon, so I come over here for my christmas fix instead!

I'm not a bully, I was just having an opinion about something someone chose to link here, it wasn't personal. Far worse I would think to e-mail you and have a go, wouldn't have dreamt of doing that because I don't feel strongly enough about it.

I'm sorry your little boy is poorly, I hope he's better soon and wish you all the best.

I am just surprised that the TAAT police haven't turned up here yet. Are we allowed to have a TAAT when the original thread is on another site? I think we should be told :nods vigorously:

Ah, no problem!
if you do stick around, try the Chat board, always something interesting to read, any problems the women on relationships are really amazing. Steer clear of Aibu for a while, that is not for the fainthearted! Credit crunch is good too. Anyhow, the poor Op's thread has gone haywire so I am going to go grab a glass of wine and watch some twaddle TV.
Hope to "see" you again Laura, take care.

Awww thank you Enternicknamehere, I may just stick around lol. My family and friends think I'm bonkers too so its nice to be involved with other Christmas nuts! lol x

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thank you for coming on to respond, I totally appreciate your opinion and also respect your opinion....however calling me an 'idiot' is personal. Personally I would have preferred a private email as at least I could explain and defend myself, rather than have to come onto some strange website I have never been on to see I was insulted for a choice I made to try and help my little boy....Buy doing what you did you did not give me a chance to explain (again, not that I needed to) so then other people jumped on the band wagon with 'ohh and ive seen the same poster buying more' and then other slating ipads for children.

I think you did feel strongly enough about it to post 'what the fucking fuck' and 'people are idiots', if it didn't bother you so much why prefer to my post in particular and name call me? I'm not an idiot, I'm just trying my best. You could have replied to the OP and said your bit about being stingy or not and left it at that, not slate some random-er you don't even know.

I genuinely Don't want to argue with anyone on this site, it really isn't my nature, hence the posting about just explaining the situation and defending myself.

I do thank you for your well wishes, I really do appreciate it x

Thanks Grumpyoldblonde, I only ever post on the Christmas forums, thank you for the tip on the AIBU, I am not one for arguing so will steer well clear lol. Enjoy your glass of wine!....Jealous.com! lol, thank you again x

Our DS was 1 just after Christmas last year. We just got him a cardboard box. Saved it flat packed from something a few weeks before. He definitely didn't know it was Christmas and loved the box! We got him a wooden toy garage for his birthday. Seriously, don't worry. He played and played with the box and all wrapping paper. Didn't really give much thought to anything else.

For those that don't buy much, do you have many toys around the house? Just curious because if I didn't buy lots of toys for Christmas then my kids wouldn't have much to play with, we don't get given any hand me downs and we don't really buy them anything during the year ( unless they save pocket money ). I buy loads for Christmas, some bits will get put away and then get brought out later in the year ( half term, rainy days ), everything gets played with or used.

I'm not judging those who don't buy much, I can understand it if you have a big family and lots of friends who buy them gifts but some of us don't have huge families ( or our families just don't bother buying ) so we tend to make up for it by buying a bit more .

Laura, I hope you stick around, most people on here are lovely and very supportive. I only really come on here on the run up to Christmas as I love the Christmas threads.

Thank you marne2, starting to think it isn't such a bad site after all, although a tad daunting lol.

With regards to your last post, like you we don't have a huge family that buy for my 2 boys either (parents gift's stay at theirs) so If I didnt buy for my 2 then they would have nothing here (don't get hand me downs either) x

Good Lord!! Where are they going to put it all?....."the 2 year old just needs an I-pad and he's done" wtf?

lauraR1989 check out the christmas bargin threads on here, you will love them if you enjoy buying gifts for your little ones.
I will post again with a link to them or maybe someone else can who can do it more quickly than me :)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/Christmas/2225458-Christmas-bargain-thread-15-I-need-a-poo-holder-for-nespresso-poos-anyone-seen-a-bargain
Its a thread of many about the best toys and stuff to buy for the best prices.

LauraR hope your son gets better soon. It sounds awful. I don't know the medical history, but I have been in that situation with my ds needing oxygen and know how stressful it is.

You don't need to defend the choices you make for your children, but I can understand why you felt you had to, I didn't like the tone of some of the comments either, but not everyone piled in.

Re: IPads I think they are very much down to the parent and what you think your child can cope with and you can afford.

My ds has short stints on our Ipad, very occasionally, now he's 3.5, at younger than that he couldn't handle it without tantrums and stress. I wouldn't want him to have his own as he's not ready, and I prefer to hold off that stage for as long as I can. I also couldn't be arsed to police the time on the bloody thing Others are entitled to choose differently for their children.

Have a lovely Christmas, check out the bargain thread if you want to add to your pile, there's still time

Yes, thanks to the bargain threads I have bought way too much but have saved a fortune.

Thank you all.

tshirtsuntan that is my post which I came on here today to defend....you clearly haven't so your 'wtf' is actually very rude and uncalled for..... read my other posts. We are currently say in hospital with DS2 on oxygen, we have been here since yesterday and it is our 2nd stay in 3 weeks....The ipad (not that you have any given right to judge) is being brought because DS cannot leave his bed when we are in hospital. He cannot stretch past 2 hours without needing oxygen and we are not allowed to keep bring toys to his bed!

Why I feel the need to keep explaining myself to a bunch of strangers when they judge me is beyond me!

Bumgravy thank you very much, that would be fantastic, aside from the mains I only have a few more things to get but need plenty of stocking fillers for DS1.

Sootgremlin thank you, I didnt think I needed to defend myself either, but still people are commenting knocking my decisions either because they are too rude to respect other peoples choices or because they haven't bothered to read my posts.

Thank you for your well wishes, I do hope you have a lovely Christmas too x

Laura Personally I love buying stuff for three year old DS and quite enjoy comparing notes with others in a non-competitive way. We don't get masses for Christmas as his birthday falls in early December. This year its some paints / paper / paint brushes, a book or two, a bit of Duplo and a stocking with novelty things. DH's lot are thinking of getting him a big box of crafty stuff, my lot a marble run and a toy toolkit.

Ours are 4 and 1.

Last year the 4 yr old got a jacket and the 1 yr old (then 4 months) got a DVD. That was it from us. My parents go completely over the top and spoil them and they mean well but it drives us a bit mad. My in laws get them 1 (more valuable) present each. It's horrible trying to balance that.

With the received presents we also put a large number away and bring them out over the year when there's a child poorly or something.

hi, TooManyMochas, fun buying for younger ones isnt it! It's nice to compare lists with other's as from our perspective DS2 is classed as 6 months behind so its nice to see what other's are buying their children of the same age for ideas to help him along with his development etc.

Your list sounds fantastic! I dont think you can go wrong with a crafty box with the paints etc, my 2 love getting creative, especially when you can collect pinecones etc, free aswel x

What a vulgar thread, one thing to compare bargains but posting pictures like that shows the difference between the two sites. Lots seems to be cheap fillers with the aim of posting the biggest pile possible on the thread.

At least the economy will be boosted, well unless it's all on cards or bought with state money.

I think what your buying is lovely!!

My DS1 &DD2 both have autumn/winter birthdays- I buy for birthdays & Christmas only/ nothing through the year so there for I ruin them birthdays & Christmas but you work in reverse... I think you'll have very happy children with happy memories

As someone who posts on the 'vulgar' thread DaisyFlowerChain I dont use credit cards, nor do I use state money, I am a single working mum (in a bar) and also put my self through a course so I can hopefully 1 day open my own business.....In fact most of the other mums use cash....read the other threads before jumping the gun.

Yes there are big differences between the 2 sites....no-one over there is judgemental.

You work in a bar and don't get any state money? It must be a well paid bar job to not get top ups, do they have any vacancies?

Ouch that's a bit harsh missunreasonable...

Do you have to live up to your username in every post missunreasonable?