Are we being stingy?

[Lones80]

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks, DD is 1 shortly after and then there are only three weeks until Christmas. We expect that between them they will get a mountain of toys from family and friends.

We're planning on getting DS a Knights' castle for his birthday and a balance bike plus stocking filler for Christmas and DD a Fisher Price door for her birthday and a trike plus stocking fillers for Christmas. Both will get PJs for Christmas Eve.

However, I've been to the other parenting website for the first time today. There's a thread where people have taken photos of all the gifts for their DC and the number of gifts some people have bought is staggering to me.

As they both have winter birthdays we buy small toys and gifts throughout the year. We are trying not to spoil them, but are we being too stingy?

Its harsh to suggest that having a job makes you more entitled to buy presents. Everyone regardless of where their money comes from (legal sources only) can buy whatever they like without people looking down on them because 'I have a job and you don't'.

gremlin I have been told I am very reasonable on numerous occasions.

It's a hotelbar so I can put in overtime when the boys stay at their dads and receive money from their child's father not that its any of your dog dam business Missunreasonable.

Where on earth did I say that having a job makes me more entitled to buy more presents, someone suggested it was done on credit cards etc.....read the post correctly next time.

Having observed the "camerordery" on the NM thread I'm starting to think the best present some posters could've "brought" for each other is a dictionary!

I read the post and it was this line:

nor do I use state money

Which I took to mean that it's somehow more moral to buy large amounts of presents if you gave a job than if you are reliant on state benefits. Is that not what you meant? Did I get it wrong?
If I got it wrong then I apologise but I don't see why you had to mention that you had a job as it isn't really relevant. Like I said wherever people get their money from as long as it is legal then can spend it on whatever they like which includes however many presents they want to buy. If you (or anyone) wants to spend £5k on presents then it's your business and you don't have to justify it to anyone but I did take offence to the fact that you pointed out it wasn't state money as though it makes a difference (not even sure what that really means though as wherever people get money from it is their money, not state money, but I assumed you meant welfare benefits).

I believe laura was replying to another poster who suggested she had brought all her gifts using credit cards / state money in a negative way.

Well I apologise if I misunderstood and took her post out of context.

Yes she was replying to another poster, and your original post seemed to be implying that she was lying about her job and what money she did or didn't receive, which is why it seemed harsh I guess.

Can't believe how bitchy this has turned. Genuine question, why does anyone care what other people buy or post on the Internet? They are happy posting pictures to each other, if you don't like it then don't look!

I honestly think it's a bit low to start slagging people off because of spelling and questioning how they afford it, it's no one else's business.

Missunreasonable Yesterday was my 1st time posting (only came on here to defend myself for wrongly being slagged off). I only mentioned my job and not receiving any benifits because it was stated that by Daisyflowerchain 'At least the economy will be boosted, well unless it's all on cards or bought with state money'...I simply responded to that post!!!!

Thank for for apologising.

Jessimaca and Sootgremlin....thank you both x

I can see how it seemed harsh. I was just concerned about what I thought was a negative portrayal of benefit claimants and I came across as very arsey because I was very abrupt in my post.

sayhellotomylittlefriend.....I'm honestly starting to believe it's because people have nothing better to do and they get a kick out of putting other's down x

It was harsh, I don't have a clue who the hell of you lot are, yet here I am being slagged off because no-one will read any other posts before commenting.

The ipad insult probably wouldn't have been said if the lady had read my previous posts on netmums about being in & out of hospital with DS2 so he could use oxygen. As with last night's post.

Hey Laura, how is your son today? did you get some rest?
I cant believe this thread is still going on and I admire the way you calmly respond to people who clearly have not read the reasons behind the I-pad.
It is none of anyone's damn business how other people celebrate Christmas and to poke fun at people who are having a nice time on another site is really awful, like those gangs of girls at school who sneer at the other gang -nasty, just nasty.

I hope your boy is on the mend and your NM thread has not been too soured for you and your fellow posters, a small group of women passing on discount codes and bargain tips and enjoying themselves - problem? No, I don't see one.

This thread has turned so bitchy. I actually quite like seeing what other people have bought for their children , but if you don't, fine, just don't look. Vulgar, vile, sickening...really? I think the judgements and personal attacks are much more vile than anyone posting a picture of presents on a thread started for exactly that purpose.

Laura, I'm sorry you felt the need to come and defend yourself (although I can entirely see why you did). My DD is getting quite spoiled this Christmas, partly because it's the first one she'll understand at all, partly because she spent time in hospital for open heart surgery this year and I was terrified that she wouldn't be here at Christmas, and partly because I just love choosing presents for her at Christmas (she doesn't get new toys through the year). I don't really give a fuck if anyone had a problem with that or thinks it makes me an idiot, and neither should you. I hope your son gets better quickly, and is at home for Christmas. Do stick around, a lot of Mumsnet is much nicer and more supportive than what you've seen here.

This thread is crazy!

I have actually really been enjoying looking at the pictures of all the presents on the Netmums thread.

My children won't have many presents - but funnily enough, that doesn't make me feel either inferior or superior to anyone else. I'm happy with what I have decided to get for them (not quite organised enough to have actually bought them yet) and I'm really excited because I think they will love them.

People are just posting the pictures because they are excited about giving them, I think, I don't think it's really showing off. And surely being excited about giving is what Christmas should be about?

People can spend what they wish on their children, as will I. But I still love hearing about what other people have bought. Maybe I'm just nosy!

Vulgar, vile, sickening...really? I think the judgements and personal attacks are much more vile than anyone posting a picture of presents on a thread started for exactly that purpose.

^^ completely agree with this

TerraNovice that was very naughty

Thank you all for the support, really wasn't expecting that!

Grumpyoldblonde thank you for asking, He is much better today thank you, we have moved on from needing oxygen every 2 hours to every 4, so a definite improvement, sleep was a bit pants due to having to be up every 2 hours but his dad is coming up today so I can get some rest in the family room.

I am trying to be calm, but it does hurt.

You are right, pointing and laughing.....childish and spiteful. And that brings me to another point.....calling peoples gift's tat.....What if that's all they can afford??? Word's really do fail me how mum's can be so mean to eachother.

I did have a look at the bargain thread.....number 16!!!!! You ladies are shopoholics!! lol x

ByTheWishingWell thank you, I agree the insulting comments are vulgar, as I said above, calling people gift's tat.....How would they fell if they couldn't afford much and their child got picked on at school for buying tat?

I am so sorry to hear of your DD's open heart surgery, I do hope she is ok now??

I have come across some lovely, friendly and supportive ladies on here, and like you have got to the point I don't give a darn anymore, thank you again x

LegoAcquaintance thank you, that's our point exactly, we are all just excited, most days are just posting pictures of the little nick-nacks we are picking up and helping other's with where we got things etc.

Sootgremlin thank you, I totally agree with that comment too x

"squirrelweasel* so what? Small children love plastic tat as you call it, that is not our thread, lets butt out? All this sneering over the fence at the "neighbours" as it were is awful and embarrassing actually

laura good to hear that your son is a bit better, hop you get a better nights sleep later, take care

It is so easy to judge I do it often myself but really, we know nothing of people's individual circumstances.

I admit to at first raising my eyebrows at the mini ipad comment but pulled myself up on that- and as it is it turns out that there was a good reason for also buying ipads (and if there wasn't, what the heck does it have to do with me, really?!)

Laura, I hope you and your boys have a wonderful Christmas

TerraNovice ive seen worse spelling on here. I would rather read some bad spelling over your bad attitude anyday.

Oh bloody mumsnet at its best, "my son plays with an eggs box and straw" unlike those chavs with those iPads and all their bling. Please fucking do one. How other people spend their money is of no business to you, it harms you not a jot, grow the fuck up. You come across as jealous.

My DD has as an ipad. I bought it for her. Shove that up your judgey arse and juice it.

OP ignore other people and buy/do whatever you fancy this Xmas.

squirrelweasel would you like to be as bold as to what EXACTLY you find tat??? Who's posts are you very rudely calling 'tat'.

I'l also put xxxxxxxxx wherever I like. It's a habit I cant break as my dad still does it whenever he texts me.

You are slatting people's christmas presents.....childrens christmas presents....parents choices of Christmas preents for their kids!

Thank you Grumpyoldblonde.

SuchSweetSorrow, thank you for your understanding and also for your well wishes x

SweetSomethings thank you, I agree......It's disgusting how bitchy some of you are, and to think you are mums, speaking like that about other mums.....what the hell! x