Are we being stingy?

[Lones80]

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks, DD is 1 shortly after and then there are only three weeks until Christmas. We expect that between them they will get a mountain of toys from family and friends.

We're planning on getting DS a Knights' castle for his birthday and a balance bike plus stocking filler for Christmas and DD a Fisher Price door for her birthday and a trike plus stocking fillers for Christmas. Both will get PJs for Christmas Eve.

However, I've been to the other parenting website for the first time today. There's a thread where people have taken photos of all the gifts for their DC and the number of gifts some people have bought is staggering to me.

As they both have winter birthdays we buy small toys and gifts throughout the year. We are trying not to spoil them, but are we being too stingy?

Thank you slagging me off on netmums.....

Just so you know a little background information.... we are currently sat in hospital with DS2 (2 years) attached to oxygen....he has fallen asleep after being admitted here yesterday (2nd time in 3 weeks might I add)....Our hospital has limited toys and even with the toys that are here he isn't allowed to being more than 1 to his bed due to taking up too much space. The Ipads are to keep him entertained while in here so that I can still use my phone while here.

The toys are to be split between my house and some at their fathers house.

You clearly felt the right to judge me when you have not 1 clue what I go through on a daily basis.

that reply was in response to Alibabaandthe40nappies....apologies it hasn't quoted the text, Only joined today to defend myself.

laura I hope your little boy gets well very soon, you really don't need to defend yourself.

I really think that whether anyone spends a tenner or a thousand pounds, it is nobody else's business. I go a little crazy at Christmas but don't buy much during the year. There will be an overstuffed sack from Santa for my 10 year old dd and a large expensive gadget as her main gift, her sack will included socks, knickers and other practical things as well as novelties and nice shower gel, lip balms and so on.

I have enjoyed seeing the Netmums happy and excited over their gift piles, I don't understand Xmas eve hampers, only because I have never heard of them before but it's a fun idea.

Op, not stingy at all, on my daughters 1st Christmas I gave her a soft ball with mirrors and jingles and a teddy saying babies 1st Christmas.

No one has to defend there selves, I hope your little one is on the mend, I do still think it's young for a iPad but that's my opinion and it doesn't matter. My dd has special needs and we got a iPad funded for her when she was 5, it has been a god send and it gets used every day, the trouble is whatever I buy her now will never be as good as the iPad and she will always go back to the iPad . I buy my kids a pile of toys, I love Christmas and love spoiling my kids for the day, I think sometimes the fact they have special needs and struggle with some aspect of life makes me want to spoil them more.

Thank you very much for your well wishes Grumpyoldblonde, I do appreciate it.

I have just been discussing this with the lovely ladies over on netmums as its actually quite upsetting that someone can judge you without 1 bloody clue what the hell you are going through.

I don't think it makes me a better mum, I simply want to make life that little bit easier for DS2 at the moment. DS1 also get's a lot but he asks to give his toys to the next door neighbour as he has nothing, again if the lady had read my other posts she would know that.

Like you, I don't really buy stuff through the year (except arts and crafts of course).

Thank you again for your well wishes x

Thank you also marne2 for your well wishes.

Sadly I feel I have to just as she felt the need to come on and call me names such as an idiot when she doesn't know me or my situation.

I totally respect your decision on the ipads, TBH my friends and family also think the same, but they are not the ones sat at DS2's hospital bed with him upset and bored because he cannot leave the bed.

Aww bless your DD, I am glad to hear she has found good use with the ipad, still cant beat a good old box of Lego IMO, but I'm a child at heart :-) x

Laura take care of yourself, I hope your boy is out of hospital soon, an I-pad makes perfect sense in this situation - Have a lovely Christmas x

Thank you Grumpyoldblonde, I Do hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas too x

I agree with grumpyoldblonde, I don't think anyone should feel they have to explain themselves and justify what they are buying for their own children. I personally enjoyed looking through the photos and got a few good gift ideas from it. I hope your little boy is out of hospital soon and I'm sure he'll love all his presents.

Thank you sayhellotomylittlefriend.... Am I the only person who thought of scarface when typing that?! lol.

I agree it is daft defending yourself, I just don't want to people to have a pre-conceived idea of me, maybe I care too much what people think? I'm a single mum and just try the best I can.

The pictures thread isn't for everyone. And I know people criticise it, but it honestly is a lovely thread where people help eachother out, there hasnt been 1 single post of 'oh i've got this and you havent etc', we are all just super excited to share what we have brought etc.

Thank you again for your well wishes x

Hi Laura, I have to admit to being a bit shocked when I first looked at your pics on netmums, but to be honest, my DCs presents are probably not far off if I got them out and took pics, it doesn't seem too much while they are all hiding in my wardrobe! I think I might have a bit of a shock when I get them all out to wrap. Especially after the last couple of days with the argos 3 for 2 and all the amazon bargains.

My DC only receive gifts of me though and a small gift each of my 2 sisters. I actually enjoyed looking through the thread on netmums, feel very festive now. Can't wait for christmas, counting down the days till I can get my decks out.

Everyone spends different amounts at christmas, we all have different circumstances. My DC don't get any gifts throughout the year for example. We also dont get out as much as my 2 youngest have special needs so we spend a lot of time at home playing. If we went out more I probably wouldn't feel I needed to buy as many toys.

I hope you and your boys have an amazing christmas

• decs

Hi Enternicknamehere, thanks for responding. It's amazing how it all mounts up when you put it into the cupboard isn't it!

Like your DC, my 2 only receive from their dad and I, then my parents and 2 sisters, those presents stay at my parents house for when kids go round there. Ex's family don't bother with them, or when they do it's only on and off, On sunday MIL decided she was no longer bothering with the kids as I wouldnt let DS1 stay overnight because she was drunk when we arrived so apparently I'm dangling them on a string, but that's a whole different post. So I do like to treat them that little bit extra as they wont receive from various other people.

I totally agree that we all have different budgets and different way of doing things but I find it highly rude to slate other's just because it isnt what you do. I would never dream of insulting someone if they chose to have a frugal Christmas....my parents taught me to have manners, and respect other people.

I hope you and your Children have a lovely Christmas too x

Laura, I hope that your Ds2 is ok and will be out of hospital before Christmas.
I do understand your need to find something to keep him entertained - my DS2 is 2 as well and is a fiend for getting hold of our tablet, but I wouldn't get him his own just yet, because I don't think he'd ever get off it if I did! We didn't have one in the house until DS1 was 5 and he's already trying to become an addict (he's not allowed to be, I'm mean ) and of course it was already here when Ds2 came along, it's very hard to keep him off it! It's also amazing where he manages to go on the tablet, he finds things I wasn't even aware of and he's a complete nightmare when he gets hold of DH's phone... so far he hasn't called the emergency services but it wouldn't at all surprise me if he did.

Thanks for your well wishes Thumbwitch.

haha, yes I agree the tablets can be a little addictive. He goes to nursery mon-friday then plays lego/duplo/superheroes with his brother when gets in from school so obviously time will be limited.

I do think technology has its place, DS2 isnt 3 until next Friday and his nursery has a desktop in which I was quite shocked about.

There is always going to be debate about children and tablets, but why people feel the need to get personal is beyond me.

Goodluck with your DS and the phone calling emergency services lol....few months ago my 2 year old managed to ring them from the house phone, I didn't realise so obviously didn't speak on the phone so they showed up at my door checking if we were OK....talk about embarrassing! x

Oh God, that must have been mortifying for you! DS2 isn't able to access the house phone, thank goodness (yet, anyway) but he can get into mine as well and just likes to press all the numbers and then see what happens... so far it's only been random numbers and not the emergency but I'm sure it's only a matter of time!

Hi Laura,

The thread people are looking at is an old xmas thread with lots of pics not the recent what have you got so far.

Ignore the crusty old ladies on here, we LOVE xmas as much as you all do and I would LOVE a thread where we can post what we get, its nice to see it and gives ideas.

The nay sayers are also nay sayers to the xmas lovers here.

Thats why we have our own special xmas corner, I hope your son gets better .

Hi, KnittedJimmyChoos thanks for responding, ....Someone has linked to the pictures thread where my posts and pictures are.... then on page 2 of this tread is where Alibabaandthe40nappies singled out my post and slating what I have brought my children.

TBH I did try to ignore them but obviously it doesn't hurt being slated by a bunch of strangers that don't even know me. I didn't even know you ladies existed over here until today. It definitely seems different over the 2 websites, although since responding to the attacks on here today, I have spoken to some nice ladies who agree'd I didn't need to defend myself.

Many thanks for your well wishes x

haha Thumbwitch perhaps a number lock thing? Although Im not sure they work for the house phones....the funny (yet embarrassing) things children do eh! x

First of all I hope your little boy gets better really soon LauraR1989,

And that's why people shouldn't judge other this poor womans child is in hospital and silly people are sitting on the internet passing open jugement on her for post photos on a site that most of you aren't even on! Imagine how she must be feeling and having to read some of this must have been horrible.

I don't understand why it effects others what people spend, I pass judgment in my own home at some of the shocking small christmas people on here give there dcs but thats their choice it doesn't effect me or mine so I would never dream of slagging them off about it. Big or little all that matters is happy faces on Christmas morning.

for what its worth my 2 year old getting a Samsung tab 3 at christmas as she loves playing games on her big sisters and it means she wont have to bother them as she'll have her own.

We buy one big toy, a game and a book. They get some stocking fillers too and that's it. They're 6 and 7. They also get presents from family plus some friends of mine. I think that's heaps.

SeeChooJimmy thank you very much for sticking up for me, I really do appreciate it.

it is actually quite hard to read TBH because Alibabaandthe40nappies is obviously so far stuck up their own arse to find out the facts 1st. I'm not 1 for insulting people, but I find out today that rude people have made judgements and name called me without even knowing the history.

There have been similar debates on Netmums where I have also been slated but the post was made where I post, so I had the opportunity to sit and defend myself (Not that I should have to), but to be told we are being talked about on here then come on and see I am actually being slagged off is unreal.

The woman is obviously a bully and gets off on knocking others down behind their back..... why not email me and tell me what you think rather than come over to mumsnet and slag me off to people you don't even know....coward springs to mind x

The woman is obviously a bully and gets off on knocking others down behind their back..... why not email me and tell me what you think rather than come over to mumsnet and slag me off to people you don't even know....coward springs to mind x

Or just keep the beak out of other peoples business?

Well done on keeping dignified Laura, carrying on with the lovely thread on NM - lots of us read both sites and enjoy them for different reasons.

Hope your son has a good night, and you get some rest.

That thread you linked to is really vulgar. Yuck :(

I agree Grumpyoldblonde.

Someone at the beginning of this thread (apologies as I cannot remember the username) said that buy posting pictures you are open to judgement, I do agree, I know I and others are going to get judged (no matter how big or small the pile is), but to single someone out and purposely criticise that person is disgusting IMHO.

Thank you, I have tried my best to keep calm but naturally it hurt's, because I'm not an idiot as she called me, I'm a single mum, struggling with my 2 year old's health and just trying to make things a little easier for him. He is obsessed with thomas and has a carry case and diecast trains at home so always wants to take that to the hospital when we have to go but as I don't drive we need a taxi there and back unless its an ambulance job of course (£20 each way in a taxi as its quite a distance so again gets bored in the car).

I love joining in with the Christmas chat, and did debate today about joining in with some of the other threads (had some lovely replies today which I wasn't expecting), its a shame people feel the need to knock others.

I appreciate the posts are not everyone's cup of tea.

Thank you, I hope so too. He is now managing to stretch to 2 hours without Oxygen so hopefully a better sleep than last night....hospital camp beds are not much cop mind you lol x