Ahem. It's the 25th September, which means....

[FellatioNelson]

That I hereby declare the Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread Part 4 open for business.

For those of you who do not know WTF I am on about, read this from 2010 by way of explanation:

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

If you want to read the previous three threads for Christmas 2010, 2011 and 2012 search my name in the Christmas topic.

In the words of the great Mike Reid from Runaround, G-G-G-G-G- GO!

[bymoonlight]

I got mine from Clas Ohlson - which isn't much use if there isn't one in your town.

Lakeland do them.

[attheendoftheday]

While I am inspired I have some important poncing questions for the senior poncers here present.

How do I sterilize containers to make booze in? I have sloes and gin, I need to combine, but my recipe says to sterilize the container first.

Where can I get decent-ish garlands from where the price won't make my eyes water? Our decorations have ended at the tree in previous years, which simply will not do this year.

How do you decorate with holly? Last year I went out and cut a load with dd1 which then sat in unappealing heaps around the house spiking people when they went too close. I have this image in my head of decorating the fireplace, but no idea how to achieve it.

Thanks to anyone who can help me take my first poncing baby steps!

[FoxtrotOscarBackToEconomy]

I am so ready to have a poncetastic Christmas this year. For the first time ever I'm having my parents and sister to stay for Christmas now that we have moved into a proper grown up house with room for guests.

So far we have ordered a new sofa to arrive before Christmas, and getting a new TV soon (target to get in time for Christmas).

I have bought the ingredients for the Christmas cake - just need to get the tin from Lakeland.

I have also especially bought a note book for Christmas planning which I'm already using to compile ideas.

Currently in denial about incompatibility of

• working full time,
  

• having a DH who also works full time,
• having a 2 year old who takes forever to do anything,
• general domestic goddess aspirations,

and the preparation required to host the poncetastic Christmas I'm dreaming of.

[IcedTeaOneSugar]

We're away for a week until the 23rd Dec, anyone got any thoughts on what I can leave around the house before we go, to ensure sufficient festive scents on our return (I usually burn yankee candles excessively in the week or so before Christmas). I was thinking about dried oranges in some sort of home made Potpourri.

[attheendoftheday]

One of my questions was answered while I was typing it, hooray! You lot are psychic.

[attheendoftheday]

One further question - when I make sloe gin, can a get away with using cheap gin, or should I use decent stuff?

Thank you!

[Rubybrazilianwax]

Ooooh so glad to see this has made a return. I am very pleased to say my last Christmas was picture perfect poncetasticness [smug]
I hope to maintain this standard with all your help
So far I have been pinning lovely ideas, I have a few presents bought and have made a list of a few house projects I want to get finished up before the Christmas decorating starts. Oh and I have been gathering pine cones.
My contribution to the thread will be decorating/floral displays/crafts! Hope I can be of help.
Fr anyone making sloe gin. Just had a chat with my neighbour at the weekend and he told me the sloes are much better picked after the first frost? Don't know if anyone has heard this before or not. It makes sense when you think of it as grapes taste really sweet when they are frozen so perhaps the frost sweetens the sloes a bit.

[Rubybrazilianwax]

Attheendoftheday most people just use the cheap stuff

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

IceTea if you like your Yankees what about the scented reeds?

(Basically twiggy bits in a bottle of scented oil. The more sticks you put in, the stronger the scent. More so if you put it somewhere warmish )

I'm sure they'll do some festive flavours nearer the time.

[attheendoftheday]

Thank you Ruby I was hoping I could!

[FreeButtonBee]

Oh yes. Lidl booze is grand for home made booze pimping. I do keep fancy bottles particularly Hendricks gin bottles which re pleasingly opaque.

[FixItUpChappie]

Oooh! I am moving in and marking my place. I have a truly pinterest-tastic child's birthday to organize to the minute detail like a lunatic before I can set my sights on Christmas though

[Editededition]

Ruby the "wait for the first frost" before picking sloes can mean they are all picked before you get there! Frosting doesn't make a difference in my experience, but the best tip I heard - for those who think a nip of frost is needed -is to pop them into the freezer overnight after picking and pricking.

[IcedTeaOneSugar]

70 I tried those when we went away in the summer, I expected to come home to a lovely vanilla scented lounge but it didn't really work.

Although, that was a set from Sainsbury's maybe I should splash out on a yankee set for Christmas.

[bouncychair]

I'm joining! DD was only 6 weeks old at Christmas last year but this year I am planning on having the Christmas that is in my head.

I need to get some fabric ordered for my stockings (4 needed), tree skirt and tree decorations.

Hoping to make some mincemeat soon and am planning on making my first Christmas pudding this year. Does anyone have a fool proof recipe? And how far in advance do they have to be made?

[PaperPomPom]

I so want to join in here but DH won't pull his finger out and decide what our Christmas plans are.

I however LOVE poncetastic things regardless of season, so can refuse to make an exception and do Christmas regardless of where we spend it.

I have a cupboard full of jam and compote made from the early fruits, cookie dough will probably be done this weekend and frozen until near the time, and I'm already planning my fudge schedule. I discovered a beautiful yarn shop in town this weekend so I'm thinking about what I can knit in time and will pop in at the weekend.

[DumSpiroSpero]

Edited I think you may be right with Marguerite Patten - that's the recipe my mum and nan used since before I was born and I've just turned 38!

[Editededition]

Good grief, now I really feel old
Guess it proves it really is a good recipe, though

[OctoberMoon]

I have my cath kidston christmas organiser at the ready and am ready to ponce! Will read all posts later.

[Chubfuddler]

I make my cake and pudding on stir up Sunday which I think is the second Sunday in November?

[CatAmongThePigeons]

Stir up Sunday is the last Sunday before advent, so IIRC it's 24 November this year.


I must remember not to over feed the cake wih brandy this year. It was more alcohol than cake by Christmas day

[bymoonlight]

I was going to do my cake this year but think I will wait till the 24th now

[bymoonlight]

*this weekend!

[Suddengeekgirl]

Does anyone have a good mincemeat recipe?

I made my own mince pies last year with shop bought mincemeat. They were yummy but I want to be super-ponce this year! :)

[farrowandbawl]

I'm ordering my tree on Friday and going Christmas shopping next Thursday. I've ordered some more baubles from John Lewis..and found holly to pick for the living room.

I'm going to get the kids to write their last lists this week.

I CAN'T WAIT!