Ahem. It's the 25th September, which means....

[FellatioNelson]

That I hereby declare the Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread Part 4 open for business.

For those of you who do not know WTF I am on about, read this from 2010 by way of explanation:

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

If you want to read the previous three threads for Christmas 2010, 2011 and 2012 search my name in the Christmas topic.

In the words of the great Mike Reid from Runaround, G-G-G-G-G- GO!

[IsaacCox]

I use this one Sudden

[Suddengeekgirl]

Thanks issac! :)

We have some of SIL Brantley apples so that would be nice! :)

Best get myself some Kilner jars.

[Suddengeekgirl]

issac do you think I could substitute the whiskey for dark rum in the mincemeat? We don't have much of a drinks cabinet!

[IsaacCox]

Yes, I think that would be great :)

[Suddengeekgirl]

Think ikea might be my best bet for Kilner jars, better add them to the list....

[Rubybrazilianwax]

Editededition thats a good tip about the freezer and the sloes thanks! (I hope the sloes wont all be picked though, they are along my own lane!)
Apparently this year is a bumper crop for berries. Has anyone a recipe for blackberry vodka thats tried and tested.

attheendoftheday I tend to buy a cheapish plain green garland with wire branches. (Not floppy one) Using this as a base I wire pine cones, faux berries, cinnamon sticks etc on (packet of florist wires is a £1 or so ) Then about a week before you can wire on holly and fresh evergreen. Also a good idea to keep a look out for branches of berries, or gold/silver faux leaves that you can add to it. (Dunelm mill is great for these)

If you want a fresh holly fireplace to last a few weeks you need to put it in oasis.
I use icecream tubs cut down to about 3cm high. In a row accross the mantel. Put soaked oasis in these and add your holly. I put some nice pillar candles (about 5 of different heights) in before I start the greenery. You can add a few bits of trailing ivy too hanging down

[ThinkIveLostIt]

this thread has me so excited - it's my fist mumsnet christmas! pray tell me how do i mark my place?

[TapTapBangBang]

I was just thinking 'I wonder when the poncetastic Christmas thread will start?'

[attheendoftheday]

Ruby thank you so much, that's really helpful. I shall start collecting icecream tubs forthwith, and I'll look out for suitable garlands closer to the time.

[SugarHut]

Oooh oooh oooooooh! I've been waiting for this to start. Reading with glee, and already printed out the cake recipe. FYI, I did the Waitrose recipe last year...bloody awful, so many nuts in it that it could not bind together, the whole thing just crumbled when you tried to pick a piece up. Cost an unbelievable amount to make too. Tasted fab in it's defence. Not the point.

Also, I'm wanting to do goose this year, (aware of the lack of meat and fat a plenty) would be it be terribly naff if I asked the butchers to make me a stuffed goose crown? Has anyone ever had one?

[attheendoftheday]

Think now you've posted this thread will come up in your 'threads I'n on' list.

[attheendoftheday]

Sugar we do goose every year. We've motivated by the fact we can get it free from a gamekeeper friend. We have to pluck it ourselves, though!

I find the Delia recipe works well (i'm actually a veggie, so I've never tasted it, but dp thinks it does). Goose can tend to be dry, so be careful not to cook it too long.

I like that goose is not too big, as I don't like the idea of having left over turkey meals for weeks after the big day.

Also, keep the fat for roasties another time, or cook the roasties in with the goose.

[TheYamiOfYawn]

For poncetastic presents, I am planning on getting a load of cheap but good quality notebooks (muji or Clairfontaine) and adding fancy fabric covers/ribbons/envelopes inside. This ought to work as a teacher present, too, and can be made well in advance, allowing me to spend December drinking mulled wine and collecting greenery.

[sybilfaulty]

Marking my place. With a grosgrain ribbon avec holly attached.

This is utterly fabulous. Thank you.

[MisselthwaiteManor]

I was planning on making my cake this weekend but I think I'm going to wait for stir up Sunday now.

I am going to make my own Christmas pudding and mincemeat for the first time ever this year too. And pickles onions, how long in advance do pickled onions need to be done?

[MisselthwaiteManor]

*pickled

[Editededition]

Sarah they keep for ages, so could be done now. I did mine last weekend.

Re stir up Sunday....I always thought that applied to puddings & mincemeat, as cakes are better for having a longer time to mature??
Best Christmas cake I ever made was done for a christening the previous June (cancelled in very sad circumstances).
I used the cake for Christmas instead...and it was fab

[bymoonlight]

Oh maybe I should do my cake this weekend then.

I better add the ingredients to my shopping list again

[SugarMiceInTheRain]

Ooh I think I shall make my Christmas cake this weekend. Made mincemeat yesterday - 6 fair sized jars of the stuff. It tastes fab. I'm having an irritated morning as I've been making cinnamon rolls (not for Christmas, just for scoffing over the next couple of days) and halfway through making the frosting have run out of icing sugar Sure I had another couple of boxes stashed away!

[LazyFaire]

OK Poncers -

I have a sewing machine and can probably make myself do some work 2-5 hours a week up till Christmas.

Please link or describe to me lots of small pretty things that I can make (I'm thinking small tree decorations or drawer freshener type things) that my aunties will like! I am determined to make not buy at least something this year.

And what will I need to make them (currently scouring the various quilting squares on ebay, but what will I forget to buy!)

[CatAmongThePigeons]

I think, stir up Sunday is about Christmas puddings? I remember it being on the Archers last year. I would make Christmas cake in advance as it is so much better when matured!

I can't decide whether to make one big Christmas cake, or lots of smaller ones, I was thinking of making mini Christmas puddings too, would it be miniature overkill?

[Slippersocklover]

Cat, I love the idea of the miniature puddings and cakes! So cute and so much opportunity for decorative poncery on individual cakes. Would you get a special tin to make then in? I've looked at them before but never been able to justify the cost for the amount of use it would get.

[CatAmongThePigeons]

I was looking at making one big Christmas and then cutting them out into individual ones not for the trimmings, oh no I've seen some mini pudding bowls on Amazon for £9.73 and they're suitable for the pressure cooker and would be perfect miniatures for Christmas puddings.

Some of the mini cake tins are £££ and there's better places to spend money on poncery!

[Editededition]

I make small cakes for other people ....but actually cheat and just cut a larger square into 4!! no way of telling once marzipan and icing are on, and I find the bake is a lot better than when trying to cook very small cakes

[MrsHoratioNelson]

I cant believe I missed the beginning of this! DC1 will be about 10 weeks old and we're going to my DM's for Christmas but I will make it as poncetastic as I can with a newborn. Next year we'll have a 14 month old rampaging around, so my tree plans might have to be scaled back then.