Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

Ooh I want to join in this year, our first Christmas in our own home that's not a rented heap! I have so far made chutney and have the stuff to make blackberry vodka in my kitchen.

Have also been pinning things to my Christmas pinterest board with gay abandon for the past few weeks :o

YES! Thanks for starting this thread again Fellatio, I love it more than dh

If anyone has a fan oven I worked out the timings for Delia's cake last year and can dig them out as she doesn't tell you what they are and the year before last I burnt mine

Can we have a review of magazines when people buy them so I know which ones to get?!

I love Christmas

Ah, I was thinking about this thread the other day while making chutney. Glad to see it back.

I'm rubbish at following quichey threads, so I'll mainly lurk if that's ok, bursting in to give my twopenn'orth every now and again.

BTW, does anyone know if you can make chutney with canderel? My DSDad is diabetic but loves cheeses & chutney etc. In fact any diabetic Christmas treat recipes would be greatly appreciated.

I, ahem, am going to KNIT my Christmas baubles from THIS BOOK I have my double ended needles ready to go. Poncey enough?

Have also made Raspberry gin, Summer fruit vodka and Christmas vodka. cake ( Delia ) and cannonball shaped puds next week.

Oooh can I join you?! Just getting DD's birthday out of the way (tomorrow), and then I'll be prepping Christmas!

I read last years thread from the link earlier, and think this is the place for me!
Have made bramlble brandy , limoncello and the sloe gin is in production.
Christmas cake ? Hmmm . I've done the Nigella one where you soak the minced up fruit a couple of times and it's very good , thinking of trying Delia this year ( I also have the dog eared, food stained 1980s vintage complete cookery course )
I'm doing an evening class in floral art and ( excited ) will be learning to make festoons and Christmas wreath !
DH likes tinsel .... What do I do ? Shall I just hide it away ? Or should I allow him 1 length ?

Um not sure I am capable of doing all the card making and stuff but found this for fellatio christmas in Qatar and this community from last year Qatar living who may have some advice

Doilooklikeatourist, I'm afraid liking tinsel may well be a 'leave the bastard' offence. Just say NO.

Happy Birthday to MrsKitty's DD for tomorrow.

Giganticus - I do the Delia cake in my fan oven at 130 with a cartouche on for the first 3 hours, then an further hour or so with cartouche removed. Seems to do the trick.

I can't do any Christmas shopping for another three weeks and it's almost got me to the stage where I may need to cut my hands off... We move back to England in a fortnight and I have had to put a self imposed ban on any further doings until we're back. IT's VERY hard indeed I tell you.

I agree about the magazines Georgimama - Country Living is almost exclusively about identifying chicken breeds and full of weird people doing lifestyle pieces on how they run a 'business' painting pebbles they nicked off Cornish beaches, or selling honey from their own bees. Not enough Hardcore House Porn for my liking either.

Right, I would normally just lurk on this thread (although I love love Christmas) but this year, this fecking year I'm going to be in the middle of a Queensland summer.

Shit bollocks tinsel twatting fairy fuck.

No no no, this is not right. Last year, cute (twee even) country cottage surrounded by snow, open fire etc etc.

This year huge open plan thing, no fire, pool, tiny (shit) oven.

Neeeeeeeeed help. (and surreptitious drinking of Christmas to get in the mood)

CL used to be ace though, for Christmas porn, and my stash goes back to the mid-80s so I am still fond of it . I may also have a couple of CL Christmas books.
The blessed 'Pets Pin Up' type features make me itch now - people writing in with the likes and dislikes of their rabbit. More poncey pics, not so much with the nonsense.

I have a small problem though i cant stand turkey and neither can ds1, so I've decided to do pork instead, also none of us like Christmas pudding so I'm doing a yule log instead, also I think it'll tie yule and Christmas better too :).

I lose patience with people who say they don't like turkey. you are buying rubbish turkeys and then cooking them all wrong. there is no other answer. And get a grip with the Christmas pudding will you? Just train yourself to like it - like we do with olives and oysters. It is your Poncestastic Duty to like christmas pud.

Sorry about random lack of capitals there.

Gossipwitch nigella Christmas has a lovely chocolate pudding for those who don't like Xmas pud we had it last year and it was gorgeous!
Also a nice rolled pork loin instead of turkey
Sorry FN

You've been told gossipwitch (although I agree half of dislike of turkey is down to crap meat - get yourself a free range Norfolk Bronze, preferably organic, and it's like eating a whole different meal). Ditto for christmas pud - if you buy £4 asda pud no wonder you don't like it. I've never been that fussed about the stuff but the ones I made last year (and it's so easy, honestly, I am no Nigella I assure you*) were to die for.

*arse size similar though

What about non-turkey dinners for vegetarians? Fancy something different this year. Last year I just did a big dish of dauphinoisse and then everything else except the turkey.

Bloomin' love Christmas pudding though but cba to make one - Duchy Originals is the way forward.

Oh dear. I fear I may be forcibly removed from this thread. I don't like turkey either GossipWitch. Or Christmas pudding. Or Christmas cake. Or mince pies.

But I do love Christmas. And I don't do tinsel. Fellatio, I shall attempt your palate training bootcamp idea.

Turkey not essential IMO - Glazed ham or goose much more traditional!

I am turning to you all for help through my first Christmas at home (all being well, if DD doesn't end up in hospital which is the WORST CASE SENARIO. Imagine, hospital Christmas dinner.)

So, I am going to make my first Christmas cake. I have picked Delia and will be soaking my fruit (and possibly myself) in amaretto.

So, when should I start soaking my fruit? And when should I make the cake?

Thank you in advance for help and guidance through this unknown territory of Christmas prep which I now find myself treading.

I was never fussed about turkey tbh but we did it because it's christmas.
Last year tho I bought an organic kelly bronze turkey (think that was it's official title) from the posh butcher. It was £90!!!
BUT it was beautiful! And I picked the carcas clean and we had leftover in the freezer for aged which reheated well and didn't dry out.

I will do the same next time I cook Christmas lunch. I am a convert!

Raspberry Gin! Please someone enlighten me... I need to have some :o

Raspberry gin

Bottle of gin I used 70cl .
1 lb of frozen raspberries.
1 lb of golden granulated sugar.
Into an old squash bottle ( Caveat...I have no young children who might think it was squash )
Shake and leave a week and repeat over a few week period.
I think I left mine for about 6 weeks.
Strain through a sieve lined with kitchen paper or clean muslin .
Bottle.
I am using vinagrette bottles that I have washed and sterilised.

OOh, please can I join! Need to get DD1's birthday pirate party out the way next Sunday, then can focus on all things Christmas - can't wait! Really want to do blackberry vodka but there seems to be a dearth round here at the mo - will have to finding better picking grounds...

I know they are pricey (I am going to have to find another source, the farmer we have had ours direct from for the last 10 years isn't doing them this year) BUT compare that to the cost of a restaurant meal for the whole family. It's worth it.