Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

KinkyDorito it is NEVER too early to make one's Christmas Cake or Pud. Soak the fruit in the booze for a good 12-14 hours and then once it's made wrap it first in greaseproof paper and then in foil (both double layers). Feed it weekly with an eggcup of brandy or whatever dark spirit you're using to soak the fruit. On the under side, 15-20 holes with small skewer and then pour the booze over.

We're having a huge rib of beef this year, and a whole glazed ham. But I agree - the more one spends on the turkey, the better it is. And I brine mine first for 36 hours too. Make sure it's out the fridge for a good 8 hours before putting it in the oven so it's room temp and I work to 15mins per pound, plus a final blast for 25 to crisp the skin . Always produces beautifully moist breast meat and perfectly cooked dark meat too.

I don't stuff it, rather make and cook the stuffing separately, and the sausage meat too. Usually shove an onion or two, whole head of garlic, unpeeled but halved, half a lemon, and a job lot of rosemary.

Bloody hell. I want Christmas Lunch NOW.

by the time I had finished reading Rocksock's post there was a line of drool hanging out of the corner of my mouth. I looked like my labrador.

I can live without tinsel but please tell me that teeny white fairy lights are okay.

I usually have hundreds of them inside & outside on the trees.

I will leave this thread in shame if they are not allowed.

£90 for a turkey??? £90???!!!! I paid £40 for my turkey crown last year and nearly had a fir at that!

I don't get a whole turkey - i get a crown and butter baste it. Alway moist and succulent. I'm in a Christmas club with my local butcher and have paid for this year crown and ham already.

I think tiny white fairy lights are fine.

May I join please? I love all things Christmas, although my son was born on 1st Dec, so I feel I have to be outwardly un festive til his party is done. Then it's chocs away! Yippee!

I loved the blessed St Kirstie of Allsopp's Homemade Christmas. Is that allowed on this thread?

Oh my!

This is my first MN Christmas and I had no idea that my fave MNer also ran a Christmas thread! I am moist with joy :o

I shall read thread and festive up my thoughts, pronto...

dee :o

Sozzles Fell, I've downgraded your thread already

Teeny tiny white lights are top of my list of things that MUST be there at Christmas. No argument on that please

I make mil's nan's christmas cake recipe and delias christmas pud. I have bought a new cake tin and am putting fruit to soak this week and have bought piles of felt and ribbons. Ds and I have made some cinnamon saltdough decorations and this years colour scheme is red, white and green. I am saving a fiver a week to get a fab turkey and nice ham from the farm down the road.

sybilfaulty DS2's birthday is 9th December. We've always been careful to make sure his birthday is special but the decorations go up in time for his birthday. He was 2 weeks overdue and, when I got told they were taking me in to induce me, I said I had to go home to put my Xmas decorations up first! He's always associated Xmas decorations with his birthday

Sil's birthday is 12th dec and they always go to see father christmas and pick tree etc the weekend of her birthday. Its part of her birthday celebration!

We do the decorations the weekend closest to my birthday too

I still live at home (when I'm not at university) so it's mum's rules, but I'm allowed to make the forcemeat and hang the Christmas cards up

I know £90 was a LOT and I did a double take when I saw the bill but it could have easily fed 10. DH demands lots of leftovers.

Mine fed seven adults and four children for four days - and leftovers in the freezer too!

Won't be that big this year though.

This thread has got my Christmas juices flowing. This weeks Sainsbo's delivery includes ingredients for the Christmas cake (Delia's, natch) and raspberry vodka.

Today I tried out a new recipe for millionaires shortbread but the caramel is studded with chopped salted peanuts. I adore the salt/sweet combo. I'm wishing the hours away so I can try it after it has set.

I've got the stuff in for the family mincemeat so will be doing that next weekend, I have to empty a couple of my kilner jars first and steralise them first. I cant wait.

Dee in my mum's Delia book next to the times for how long a turkey takes there is the weight of our turkey and a little sum, and then underneath "turkey goes into oven = 2:30am. Get smaller next time". I think it's from the biggest Christmas we did...

My sister's birthday is boxing day, so she demands a second Christmas so that her day isn't overshadowed . Christmas eve is a ham, then we have a turkey, a goose and a 3 bird roast. She gets to pick whichever one she wants for her birthday, then we vote which goes for Christmas and which is NY day. Normally turkey = Christmas, goose = boxing day, 3 bird roast = NYD.

We still have leftovers in the freezer - we don't really buy poultry for the rest of the year.

Yum to salted peanuts in Millionnaire's shortbread. :)

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt..... I MUST have that recipe for the millionaire's shortbread with salted peanuts. That sounds positively orgasmic.

Me, me, oh me!

I've put a toe in the water before, but I'm hoping to leap in and be full on ponce this year! I'll need your help though because I've never had Christmas pudding and I don't know what a pudding basin is.

And how do you dry out the oranges? Just put them in the oven?

Christmas decorations go up mid December here ( ......note to self , destroy tinsel and blame mice )
DHs birthday is December 23 , so the celebrations start then in our house.
I'm not very crafty ( but I'm a jolly good cook ) ( honestly ) but DD is taking GCSE textiles so we might try and make some tree decorations . Any clever links anyone ? opens bottle and starts pouring , not too early is it ?

Radiators for the oranges......though I put mine in the oven for 30mins, then turn oven off, then leave them overnight.