Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

Er...no. When people stop wearing tinsel on their head or worse - out of their trouser fly, then we can maybe think about reclaiming it. IMO.

Tinsel in trouser fly?
Definitely not poncetastic

All I can say is...thank fuck I dont work in an office anymore.

Tinsel in trouser fly

Okay, I'll give up tinsel as long as I get extra fairy lights.

Should I confess that I'm vegetarian and I hate Christmas pudding or should I keep that to myself?

Shineyshoes I do that too! One of my friends deletes me each morning and then adds me back in the afternoon after my christmas post is done bloody scrooge! I love Christmas :)

RockStock, Mary Berry pudding you say.... I have three of her books!

Which Delia cake? There are several in her book, is it the traditional Christmas cake?

Am going to add all the ingredients to my shopping list for next week.

Oooohhhh! Count me in! DH won't let me talk about Xmas until December though I have sneakily trained DD1 how many days away it is so now she does an enthusiastic countdown every morning That'll learn him. I have poncetastic aspirations, but sadly up til now quite mediocre outcomes. This will be my first Xmas in ages without my parents here so would really like it to be spectacular!

Boys, I am also veggie and hate Christmas pud. I ponce it up in other ways
I hate mince pies too, as it happens.

Woo-hoo!
I need to ponce on a budget this year, so will be looking for lots of hints that i can pull of for next to zero money.
Dh will breath a sigh of relief now as I might stop talking to him about Christmas!

I want to know which Delia too....I presume the traditional?

Because last year, I did Nigella the one with prunes and orange juice and chocolate. (FFS- I should have known, really) and it was erm, interesting. But after we all had a piece on Christmas Day, no-one ever had anymore and we gave it to the birds in August. (I think the urban foxes ate it actually, the birds just sat there, going "no way, that's not Christmas cake")

I thought tinsel was OK if it was vintage 1970s tinsel?

Hallo Halloooo! I am so very excited to be joining you Ponces here on this thread; I was not here last year. But I have read both threads twice and am fully up to speed. I spotted the rookie mistake earlier of a newbie covering herself in tinsel. Tinsel !

I have already flicked quickly through my Xmas magazines in a vain bid to decide on my 'theme'; and my Delia and Nigella Christmas books are next to my bed. Sarah Raven's will most likely be on its way soon, from Auntie Amazon. Any others anyone can recommend?

Ooh, and I am a third veggie who does-not-like-Xmas-pud (nor mince pie or Xmas cake), and very pleased to be in the miniest of festive quiches with Sue. My talent is for figuring out how to make any recipe chocolatey. This comes in handy at Xmas.

Ok. have to join as we are having our first christmas in our new house and I intend to go christmas mad.

1. Which christmas cake is it from Delia?

2. Which pud?

3. who timetables what.

I am hoping to secretly beat the MIL at her own game, hahahahahahaha

Now, having bought an apple mountain in from the orchard (poncetastic! its really 12 trees at the bottom of the garden) looking for a Nigella chutney with star anise which was yummy three years ago.

Also a veggie pud not liking mince pie disliker hater of Christmas cake

Oh I'm in.

But this year in new house with an aga and very apprehensive about baking christmas cake in it.

Have a hankering this year for some ahem tasteful outdoor lights - I fancy a white reindeer in the garden you know made of lights - have I gone quite mad? Will my garden look like something off of Shameless?

Actually i think tinsel might be on the verge of an ironic retro comeback. So long as you can pull it off in an ironic retro stylee I have decided to allow it.

yes yes.

I am a novice. I need specifics, and possibly a link to laat years poncery?

*last

Hurrah for the sub-quiche of Veggie Pud'n'Pie haters.

For candle-loving people, the Hallmark outlet shops (I know, who knew?) has unpopular Yankee candles very cheap. Lots of the Christmas flavours were there, when I looked this week. Those big fellas, in the jars, were just under seven pounds I think,.

Last Christmas I tried so hard - made own cake, own puddings and decorated house in super poncetastic style (see fireplace photo on profile for an example) and then DH and MIL both came down with swine flu. MIL nearly died. Christmas was crap to say the least.

This year all my family will be frog marched for flu jab in November.

Have started stock piling booze and planning gifts - scaling back to children only (apart from DM and MIL and FIL).

Is it too soon to make Christmas cake? Is stir up sunday for puddings or cake as well? Last year I made both on stir up Sunday and it was all fine.

I'm a poncetastic virgin and would really like to join in.

I have magazines and I'm willing to work hard!

YY to interiors magazine Christmas edition porn. I have about three years worth of Christmas copies of English Home and Country Homes and Interiors.

I think CH&I is better than Country Living now, for poncey porning.
English Home is a new one on me

English Home is the best - you haven't lived. I don't get Country Living anymore -not enough pics of people's houses for my taste.