Fellatio's thread for a Poncetastic Christmas.

[FellatioNelson]

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Only read title, wronly, as I thought it said Fellatio for Christmas.

I thought it was a waiting list. Sorry.

Astrophe, I've had some fantastic Christmasses in Sydney, but usually ponced up with 18 course meals at friends houses!

It is very different, but wonderful in its own right. Spending the morning shucking oysters, drinking fizzy red (much more popular there and delicious), cricket on the beach ... thank you for helping me remember those happy days!

oooh, yes, fizzy rose.mmm. Shall get some in. Not an oysters fan...maybe prawns though. In terms of decorating though, it always seems a bit false to fill the house with ginghamy/robiny/silvery/wintery decorations...and yet the bringht summer colours doesn't seem as Christmassy...

It may be deemed more tacky than poncy, but decorating the outside space can be lovely as the sun sets on Christmas day and you are feasting in the garden! Lovely candles, some tasteful lights.

A trip to the Sydney seafood market a day or two before.

Happy days!

You'll have to get in the queue behind my husband TechLovingDad he's patiently waiting for Christmas too, as his birthday was ages ago. It doesn't do to spoil him too much - he'll start to get used to it. I like to keep these things for special occasions.

Christmas AND birthdays? I got a wink and a cheeky offer on my birthday. I think the offer has a date on it, but I haven't been told what that is.

I have a great opportunity here - we're decorating hr lounge this weekend. Painting the walls off white and getting new white furniture. What colour do I accent it with to really set off my Christmas decorations?

Gold.

I love the way you feel you have to contribute to the serious issues on this thread now you've come on here justo lower the tone.

How long can you keep it up for?

The subject of christmas decorating I meant.

swissmiss I was thinking of starting it with an aim of finishing it before next Xhristmas, but actually, I'd probably get the same amount of credit for your idea, as for actually making it!

Sorry, didn't mean to annoy or disrupt.

dotcomgiftshop - not poncetastic, but Santa loves it.

No, carry on - be my guest! You might get ex-communicated if you don't make it Poncetastic and Festive though.

Ooh, speaking of which, I found http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/knitted-willy-warmer.html these this morning, and though they would make charming home-made Christmas gifts for the men in your life, all you knitters.

Bugger. here

Too small, obviously.

I'll end it there, I'm in a daft mood so won't be able to contribute effectively. I'm in denial that Christmas is even happening this year.

Techdad, you'd do well to embrace the Christmas ponce and behave appropriately.

Might speed you up the waiting list with your OH

All my Christmas pud fruit is soaking, I am doing 3 varieties this year drambuie, amaretto and brandy - YUMMY!

I have just bought a couple of packs of these they will be perfect with white muslin around them tied with a pretty tartan ribbon.

That is a really good price!
My pud and cake ingredients were meant to be here today but the online shop stuffed up. Was really looking forward to making them. But at least I can get the basins now.

Fellatio Sorry it's taken so long to reply, I have been poncily making salt dough decorations with the DCs

I ordered with candlelights (co.uk?) over a month ago and paid a hefty £9 delivery, however I never received my goods and I have had no reply to any attempt at communication with them. I have had to raise a claim through Paypal. So I wouldn't bother with them. If you don't need much, maybe Ebay would suffice?

While I am here can I just share this homemade wreaths etc ideas How hard do you think this lot would be to do? May have to try!

Oh dear, thought I was doing well in the Christmas ponce stakes with homemade Tablet and Clootie Dumpling but I see now that I am a rank amateur and will have to up my game. Christmas dinner is at mil's so how can I enhance my ponceiness?

I am getting the dc to make chocolate rudolphs and our own (recycled) wrapping paper...is that poncetastic????

OutnumberedinHants, sorry sorry for missing your post

dry the orange slices in the oven, very low heat, overnight