Breastfeeding 23 month old

[CM26]

I am a childminder and have sadly butted heads with a parent. The child started with me when she was 1 yr ols and is now 2 yrs old. I spoke to parent about breastfeeding and bringing in a bottle as mum said she is very attached to the milk. Mum said she would not take a bottle. So I encouraged her to only breast feed in the morning before breakfast and then once she goes home. Mum has since the beginning been breast feeding on the driveway as she says the child is unsettled and unfortunately this child has been suffering with attachment anxiety. I have asked mum not to BF on the drive as I feel this is not helping her to settle. I feel my profession judgement is not being listened and I am at a point where I am stuck. I am all for breast feeding, but when it's appropriate!

dont butt heads with the mum, instead find alternatives that might help. Ask her to come in and feed her child, help put a routine in place that involves the breastfeed. The attachment between mother and child is fine so it’s now changing it up that’s causing the issue.

There is nothing inappropriate about breastfeeding - on your driveway or anywhere else.

This OP.

Saw this on Facebook and was absolutely gobsmacked. Who on earth are you to tell a mother not to breastfeed? Your “professional opinion”??? What qualifications entitle you? I hope the mum sees this on Facebook and recognises you and fires you. The child is securely attached to their mum and she is doing the best by them. There are rarely posts that give me the rage like this!

Not really sure what your issue is OP..could you expand?

Why don't you support the mother and child transition, let her come in a sit down instead of forcing her to do it on the driveway. Absolutely awful attitude, no wonder the child is unsettled.

As a dietitian I think people are looking at this wrong! Breast milk is food, food should be given for nutrition not comfort.
If she's just breast feeding to "settle the child" then it's potentially encouraging an unhealthy relationship with food, whereby she'll use food as a comfort as she gets older. In which case some other form of comfort should be given, a cuddly toy, blanket etc (not a dummy). If it's for food then it's perfectly fine!

Oh bog off. Breastfeeding is not food. You make it sound like she's giving her a Twix.

Sorry, I will breastfeed where and when I like. There isn’t an inappropriate time really. If she breastfed in the car in the next street, you literally have no idea if she has or hasn’t.

It’s great the child has some breast milk before starting her day in child care.

Breastfeeding isn't food, it's comfort and connection.
The child can have milk in a cup and a comforter as a substitute at the childminder's house, and breastfeed with her mum.

Don’t be stupid. Breastfeeding is about much more than food. I would hope a dietitian would be aware of this.

Ahahha. This must be a wind up. If not, I feel for any parents you work with. Breastfeeding is about so much more than food. You really need further and better training.

As a dietician you may lack some understanding of breastfeeding and how it is not only a source of nutrition but also a source of comfort, regulation, hydration and important for immunity and development.

Using bf as a way to reconnect, comfort, soothe and regulate, to get a baby off to sleep etc is normal, natural and developmentally appropriate.

I bf my dc until they were an age you would be in a state about. I have 3 happy, healthy dc who eat a wide range of food in appropriate amounts at appropriate times and all are all a healthy weight for their height. Having teenage girls who have a healthy relationship with food is one of my biggest parenting wins! Breastfeeding them as toddlers likely helped not harmed that outcome.

Thank goodness this thread (mostly) passed the vibe check 🙌🏻
OP - mind your own business and educate yourself on breastfeeding.

As a dietitian it's concerning you don't understand breastfeeding is about much more than food.

I see what you've done here, OP. You've confused your personal opinion with a professional one. Just because you are a childcare professional doesn't mean every opinion you hold is a professional one. A professional opinion is one based on your job and that probably requires specialist training.

So your opinion on settling the child (assuming you've covered relevant topics such as attachment in your training and you've settled children before) is a professional one. Your opinion on breastfeeding is not.

Go and do some proper research and training in breastfeeding and how relates to attachment, comfort, mood, etc as well as natural-term weaning and THEN you can say you've given parents a "professional opinion" on their choices.

(FWIW, I would definitely look favourably on a childminder who had breastfeeding awareness/support training!)

I think you need to find ways of helping the child settle that don't involve commenting on breastfeeding.
It's nothing to do with you how often the child breastfeeds.
What is it about the driveway that makes you uncomfortable? Would you feel the same if it was a long hug? **

If the mum gave the baby a cuddle and a bottle of milk in the car would you have a problem?

When you say your professional judgement should be given due weight? What are your qualifications around infant feeding/breastfeeding?

Op, I would think as an early years carer you would understand what is and isn't your business. When and how a mum feeds her own child is nothing to do with you. Unless there are safeguarding concerns or significant health impacts from a poor diet or neglect, I can't see why you need to have any input at all.

Unless you think it is unseemly that she bf a toddler at all. In which case you definitely do have an issue with breastfeeding. (I suspect you do as you seem to have chosen to put the age of the child in the heading).

I’m a childminder & a mummy so can understand both sides!
I also had a lovely mum who also used to breastfeed her child (literally whilst standing at the door) - he was 2 and was still happy to breastfeed. To be honest, I had zero problem with it!!
i felt it was her choice and she found it so hard leaving her child unsettled all day without trying (understandably).
this little boy also struggled with attachment and was unsettled but over time he got better.
admittedly he did come in a lot easier when his dad dropped him off but I noticed that his mum needed to breastfeed for herself and her anxiety as much as her little boys - maybe if you look at it from that point of view you might understand it a bit more?
I would never tell a mum to limit or stop breastfeeding her child though!! That’s not my business - even as a professional childminder!! shes doing what she feels it’s best for her & her baby, just as she should be!!
she is attentive, responsive to her child and trying her best to soothe them before coming to you - that’s all I’d ask from any parent!

This is definitely not something I’d “butt heads” with a parent over!! In this instance, I wouldn’t agree with your professional judgement either.

Mum is doing her best to settle her for you, rather than the opposite. Breastfeeding is one of the greatest tools we have to settle and comfort our children. And Good on her for tanking them up right before they come in!

I think you've, like the OP, made the mistake of confusing a personal and professional opinion. Yes, using food as comfort is unhealthy but I think you need some additional training on breastmilk specifically. Breastmilk changes it's nutritional values almost instantly based on what the mother's body detects through the child's saliva. It's not like throwing them a packet of crisps or a Freddo every time they cry.

And letting the child regulate their own nutritional intake from as early as possible is, like, rule number one on healthy diets, isn't it? You won't catch me telling a child they are/are not hungry.

If you were a dietitian, then you would know that breastfeeding is more than just "food'.

Maybe some training needed perhaps.

Some children are more or less easier to settle but it's not related to breastfeeding.
Currently my most settled, easy going child is a breastfed toddler.
I've previously had a child who was bottle fed who cried at every drop off until they were over 2.

Your use of ‘appropriate’ is going to rub people the wrong way. There’s nothing inappropriate about breastfeeding. But I can imagine how the timing of the driveway feed could make the transition trickier and more drawn out. Every child is different but I’ve found quicker handovers rather than lingering ones can help the child settle quicker once the parent is gone. I can see from the mums perspective too though that it would be hard to leave him unsettled in your care when she knows the breastfeeding will calm him. But then she’s not seeing how the child is afterwards and you are.
But saying all that I don’t think you can tell the mum what to do. Maybe it’s just not a good fit all round?