Impact of death on daughter constipated sick and accidents

[WinterRach]

Long story short my father in law died last weekend in an accident. DD and him were best of buddies doing everything together so she’s devastated we all are. Since Wednesday she’s been feeling sick not had a poo since Tuesday. I thought perhaps stress might slow her poo down she is eating less. Being sick and wetting at night which again putting down to stress. She has been sick tonight with the pain

My neighbours daughter is a pharmacist she told us to try dulcolax suppositories which I gave her around 6. She’s managed to poo about 10 hard rocks of poo some in the loo some not I’ve had her in the bath to try and help go she’s been on in and out of the bath on the floor and back on the loo. Im pretty sure its just her constipated but I guess you never know what grief can do to them.

Her hands and feet are ice cold too. Ive popped winter fluffy pjs and fluffy socks on now popped towels on the bathroom floor and giver her a hot water bop for her belly.

I didn’t want to say anything about “Southern Ireland” as it’s a thread about a sick child but anytime I see it steam comes out my ears. Funnily enough the poster mentioned Southdoc so I assume she is actually geographically in Southern Ireland as I believe that covers Cork and Kerry.
OP I hope you get things sorted soon. Don’t be afraid to kick up a fuss

Hell no!! So it’s either a bowel obstruction preventing her from peeing or anxiety?

No. Just no. If the bowel obstruction is so severe that it cannot be moved by medication then your daughter needs a surgery consult or at the very least a competent gastroenterologist.

Was it anxiety that perforated her oesophagus too??

Your daughter was writhing on the floor in agony and they’ve only given her Panadol. That’s utterly disgusting.

Further - which idiot prescribed tramadol - a drug known to cause constipation to a patient who was dehydrated with a suspected bowel obstruction?

Tramadol is a weaker drug which isn’t first line when there is severe pain due to bowel blockage. An opioid/naloxone drugs is designed to counteract opioid-induced constipation may have been a better choice - but not treating her pain at all is just disgusting

Is your daughter on antispasmodic drugs for the cramping and steroids to bring down the swelling? It sounds like they’ve just given her tramadol for their medical negligence and are blaming her anxiety for her abdominal pain.

When will she be transferred??

Panadol isn’t given for bowel obstructions. The pain is severe and usually opioids, anti-spasmodics and steroids are given.
Given the UTI I can understand why they won’t give steroids. But just giving Panadol and delaying a catheter is cruel.

The doctors sounds dangerously incompetent.

I’ve had to deal with incompetent medical staff at a hospital in my city. They have killed more than one child and struggle to treat even basic issues in a timely manner. I’ve even watched as nurses chat amongst themselves while a child with an obvious head injury was ignored for hours. He wasn’t even given basic first aid. I’m so angry on the OP’s behalf.

WTF?!? She needs to be seen by a specialist already.

. I’m so angry on the OP’s behalf
Me too!
Plus the OPs father in law has just died . An event which had a huge impact on the daughter.

They’ve agreed to move her tomorrow. But I pleaded with them not to take out the cathater they are coming for the last 10 minutes to bladder scan her and maybe just maybe insert a new cathater. We did manage to get her showered between the last time and have some sloppy food. The enema seemed to have helped and she is a bit less bloated but also still bloated with her bladder. We spoke to the insurance company today and they’ll move us to a university hospital in the next county tomorrow. They have stopped the tramadol and swapped with morphine if needed. They don’t seem keen to leave the cathater in but we have asked them to leave it in till they find out why our 12 year old is unable to wee. This isn’t normal

@WinterRach this sounds like good news.
Well done for getting the move agreed
I know nothing about access to health care i where you are.
Will the move be costly to you ?

Oh poor love! I’m sorry your all having to deal with this. Got everything crossed she’s on the mend soon.

Yes. Well done on getting the provider sorted. Hope she has a better night and the move goes well tomorrow.

OP I’m so sorry to have read all this. I’m glad you’ve been able to get moved tomorrow. I’m hoping everything improves for your DD. What a difficult time your all going though. Xx

Where are they moving her to? Push for Crumlin, or Tallaght, it's where the national Peads Gastro team are based. They have outreach in CUH too I believe. Crumlin has parents rooms and you might be there a while, so pack for it.
DS has Crohns and I have spent more time in Crumlin that I'd like. The parking is awful, avoid it and go by ambulance if at all possible. Its too hard to deal with when you have an emergency.

They have finally put a full time cathater in after another bladder scan tonight with 500ml in and it’s only in 30 minutes and the bag had 850ml. She’s so much more settled the cathater is making her feel like she needs to push wee out. We have also been moved to a single room so she’s got much more privacy. The night nurses have been fantastic they have given her morphine for the pain. She has all of a sudden stayed to have left shoulder pain too. She’s had a poo. They us many reasons why things have happeensnsns.

My main question is it normal to feel the urge to wee in place xx

My son has unfortunately had a catheter several times now and it is a really weird sensation to get used to. My son always felt a bit weird at first when he got one, though he never described it as feeling like needing to wee but then he was on dialysis for 4 weeks the first time he had one because his kidneys had shut down due to septic shock.

He's of course a boy too so I'm sure it feels different to girls as well.

If she has a UTI she'll have the urge to pee. And the shoulder pain is probably referred pain from her stomach area, but keep the nurses up to date. I hope you have a more peaceful night.

Shoulder pain definitely needs mentioning to the nurses straight away and to the doctor when you next see them.

It sounds like you're doing a brilliant but difficult job advocating for your daughter. Keep speaking up for her, strongly if need be.

So glad she has a catheter and that it's more comfortable for her.
And it n sounds as though her bowels are waking up .
So pleased for you all .
You must be beyond exhausted.
I hope you're keeping yourself hydrated and eating .

You're poor daughter and whole family. What a lot to contend with at once. I have no advice but thinking of you and sending love x

Just want to add to the ‘chorus’ the shoulder pain. It’s often referred pain from the gallbladder/liver issues.
And those can lead to constipation too.
Or it could be the impact of her vomiting bike earlier on.

Either way, it’s an essential piece of information fir them

Is she still itchy?

Poor poor girl. I be the relief is unbelievable. She put have been in agony.

No she’s not itchy all over anymore. She has pain as mentioned right where it goes into her body like burning pain and she moved and her wee went back up the tube. It’s the only time it hurts. She’s had a lot of morphine. Her wee is very clear they have changed the bag and put a bandage on her leg. There’s moments she needs to push for a wee sorry it’s all new for us and the nurses just say it’s normal feeling.

I’ve also asked what about her kidneys will the retention do any damage?
Thank you so much to every single one who’s commented. We are so thankful

So glad things are improving somewhat for your DD. This has been a nightmare for you all, especially on top of grieving for her DGF.

Poor girl. I hope you can get her sorted and moved soon.

Please mention the shoulder pain as this could indicate something gynaecological (experience not a doctor).

I'm really rooting for you both and k hope this gets sorted quickly; you must be so worried

I dont think it sounds right that she had a burning pain where they catheter enters , but that the wee should back up a little.
Do tell the staff.