Impact of death on daughter constipated sick and accidents

[WinterRach]

Long story short my father in law died last weekend in an accident. DD and him were best of buddies doing everything together so she’s devastated we all are. Since Wednesday she’s been feeling sick not had a poo since Tuesday. I thought perhaps stress might slow her poo down she is eating less. Being sick and wetting at night which again putting down to stress. She has been sick tonight with the pain

My neighbours daughter is a pharmacist she told us to try dulcolax suppositories which I gave her around 6. She’s managed to poo about 10 hard rocks of poo some in the loo some not I’ve had her in the bath to try and help go she’s been on in and out of the bath on the floor and back on the loo. Im pretty sure its just her constipated but I guess you never know what grief can do to them.

Her hands and feet are ice cold too. Ive popped winter fluffy pjs and fluffy socks on now popped towels on the bathroom floor and giver her a hot water bop for her belly.

I’ve been following and I’m so sorry you are all still going through this. I hope you get some answers soon.

I've been searching for this post to hear updates, it really tugged at my heartstrings. I just want to say you are amazing parents & you've done everything right for your daughter, so she's now exactly where she needs to be to get to the bottom of it.

I'm glad you've asked lots of questions, it's always important to advocate for loved ones. But there's a fine line between not driving yourselves mad and mistrusting all what the doctor's have said - not saying that I think you've done that, but there's a wholeeee lot of non-medical opinions on here that could stress you out more!

I'm not a doctor, so all I'll say is that it's the right thing to keep asking questions & understand what's going on. Keep advocating for your daughter's pain & needs. It sounds to me like they're doing all the sorts of tests I'd expect & I'm sure a whole multidisciplinary team are planning all the next steps. Keep updating us here whenever you want, there are strangers thinking of you all & wishing her the speediest of recoveries. 💜

Any more updates? This is truly devastating

Ask as many questions as you feel you need. No decent Doctor or Nurse should be annoyed by a concerned parent asking questions. The more information you have, the better. If your daughter has a UTI, then she's going to feel the urge to wee a lot. Have they said anything about a kidney infection? I had one back in 2020, at the start of the pandemic, and I can say that it's one of the worst pain, I have ever experienced in my life. I hope the new hospital start being able to figure out what is going on. Sending you all much love ❤️

@AppleDumplingWithCustard I think your response to @Muffinmam was a bit harsh .
The post was full of "possibly/sounds like/" .Even "I may be clutching at straws".
It read to me a bit like brainstorming ,not an attempt to dx.

She has been okay today. She is managing to wee but is forcing herself to push it out. It hurts so much where the catheter went in. They have stated her on sepsis type antibiotics but still say its not sepsis. She is eating some what but is making her feel so sick and has the burning her in her oesophagus feeling

She has so much pain all over her finger joints, neck, belly, chest, feet and groin. I am worried tonight about a pain that starts in her groin and goes all down her leg to one ankle. She is holding herself tense in bed. She has had paracetamol and morphine. She has codeine, but they think it might be too much for her, so we have it in reserve for tonight. They for some reason, stopped the Laxcidol. I am happy she is a little more engaged with her iPad than she has been for days now.

Thank you everyone who's asked and helped us
Rach, Liam & P 💜

Really hope she has a more peaceful night and you can all get at least some rest.

Wishing all of you a restful night. Lack of sleep makes everything worse. It's good that your DD is taking more of an interest in her iPad, especially if it's normally a constant companion. Perhaps she can find a game or something to read and that might help her relax. I quite like Lily's Garden (on the App Store and the Play Store for Android.)

The fact she has perked up and is on her IPad sounds promising. Sending love. Xx

Op is worried enough as it is without people whose only medical knowledge has been gleaned from being a frequent patient throwing all sorts of bizarre suggestions and patently incorrect info into the mix. OP is understandably in a state of high anxiety at the moment and it really isn’t helpful to add in unfounded scenarios that are likely to cause her further concern.

Glad she is a little better today. One thing to bear in mind is that codeine can cause constipation. I'm sure the nurses will be aware of that tho.

Hope tomorrow she's a tiny bit better, poor thing, what an ordeal. Think about some of the lovely things you can do when she's feeling better ❤️

@AppleDumplingWithCustard possible to say that in a less aggressive way .

Well that's good news then

Hope you've managed some rest yourself, my goodness what a week you've had!

🍷

She’s had a good hour or so. Managed and wanted to go explore so we went to the front door and back in a wheelchair to see dad off (he’s in the hotel). She’s back in bed had her antibiotics in both arms and her morphine. Her infection markers in her blood have gone up. Please god it’s not sepsis

im most worried she can’t tolerate eating she’s on two meds to stop her bring sick. Theyll CT her tomorrow to check on the perforated oesophagus. They have written a letter of apology to us. Again from us thank you for all the kind messages and comments
Rach, Liam & P 💜

I hope your daughter is OK, this must be really traumatic. If they’ve sent you an apology letter, I would ask whether they’ve had an investigation and the letter is as a result of that - and ask for the report. If it is, I think it could be quite useful information for you to have.

I hope you both manage to get some sleep tonight and that the antibiotics start to kick in by the morning.

That would be an incredibly quick investigation.

At the first hospital my son was at, they did an investigation and report and it took over a year before I got an apology in writing as well as the results of the investigation/report.

Oh OP, I've been reading along and it sounds like you're all having a real time of it right now. I'm glad your DD seems a bit better today, even with the infection markers.

It's difficult when you're in the middle of it but try not to worry too much about sepsis; it is dangerous, I don't want to downplay that, but the biggest risk factor is how far it can progress untreated before people get to hospital. Your DD is in the best place and well-monitored, hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon and those markers will begin to go down. You sound like a brilliant parent and advocate for her health, the dedication and engagement you've described in your posts is invaluable.

I hope you and your DP get the time to decompress and process things a little yourselves, in amongst the grief and the trauma of the hospitals it's important to try to take a minute for yourself when you can. I think I speak for everyone on this thread when I say we wish you and your family the best <333

Sepsis only got so serious for my son due to the fact that it wasn't caught easily. He's actually had it twice, the second time it was from a central line infection (picc line) and because antibiotics were started immediately, he was absolutely fine.

Yes it would. However she says she’s received an apology letter so presumably they’re apologising for something and have had to figure that out. Anyway, I don’t want to stress OP anymore than she already is, but worth thinking about.

I do agree.

I was automatically given a copy of the report as part of the investigation and also invited to a meeting to discuss the outcome of the investigation and changes they had made but if I wasn't given it then I definitely would've asked for it.

I’m sorry you went through something that needed that process

OP, IF it's Sepsis, then your daughter is in the right place for treatment. She's currently on antibiotics, and by the sounds of it they're being delivered by IV. I'm a meningitis and septicemia survivor, so I speak from experience, Sepsis/Septicemia is treatable and people recover from it, if it's treated quickly. Your daughter is already in hospital, and Sepsis should be on their radar.

She slept all night they did a bladder scan late last night and again this morning she couldn’t wee again. They say it might be constipation so they’ll start something for that. Her gastric consultant has come back and a bit rude has said under no circumstances is she to have another catheter. After 15 hours she had a wee in the shower it was was a horrific brown colour. It’s been hard to get her to drink anything anything she does drink just burns her. They’ve stopped food again she being sick with it all. She’s just lifeless on the bed she’s not a happy camper she’ll be in till at least Tuesday 💜