Glasses I'm so upset

[Hellomummy23]

So my little girl went for a routine eye check her first one as she's never had one she's 7. Never had any problems with her eyes never complained is a great reader far and close.
They have said she's a +2.00 on both eyes and would need to start wearing glasses for most of her tasks as the more she wears the better. I'm in complete shock and heartbroken. I know there is bigger things going on in the world but I'm just so shocked and upset. Does anyone else's child have the same strength ones and have often for they wear? I just think what if they have mad a mistake ... I know they haven't in just shocked tbh and my little girl is heartbroken she doesn't want glasses. I was in shock yesterday I didn't even get to ask any questions

My teacher alerted my parents when she noticed I was squinting at the board. I did not realise there was anything wrong. I still remember, decades later the revelation when I first wore glasses, at the detail I could see and that I could see clearly across the road.
In my teens I got contact lenses which I successfully wore until I had cataract surgery and should rightfully not needed glasses but a mistake was made by the local surgeon which Moorfields Hospital was unable to entirely correct so I’m back to wearing glasses and glad of them.
Thankfully not only the rich can afford corrective eye ware.
OP do you have any friends or family members with children who wear glasses? Maybe you could arrange a few play dates

@Hellomummy23 I would heed @MissHoollie advice and proceed with caution. I am not an eye specialist but a parent and this is my anecdote.

About six years ago, we were living overseas and "health checks" in school were a thing. My then 6yo DC had feedback that the eye check (Reading letters off a board) was flagged, but they thought DC was messing around. I took them to a uk high street opticians who spent an hour testing, poking, eye drops etc and then declared DC needed glasses (I dont recall prescription strength). Of course, I too felt guilty because I believed the note that DC was "messing around", and here was a professional telling me there was a problem.

Three outcomes from this:

• we were £500 lighter. Non-nhs kids glasses are not cheap
• the eye drops immediately gave DC motion sickness on journey home which we thought was temporary, but lasted four years
• the glasses gave them a headache. They wouldn't wear them and faced a daily battle with the class teacher who reasonably assumed a child prescribed glasses needed them and insisted they were worn.

Needless to say the glasses went into a drawer after two weeks never to be worn again.

You don't specify why you took your daughter for an eye test. As far as I know children do not need routine eye testing and if you take them for one, the optician will look for something wrong, this is their job, even something that wasn't really causing a problem.

From my experience, I would say unless it's interfering with education or living then give it a serious think whether she actually needs glasses.

I can understand OP as I have to wear glasses for close work now with age and I hate it. I can only imagine having to wear them as a young person, but I suppose people get used to them. It can make a big different what frames someone chooses maybe.

This. She doesn't have cancer. She needs glasses.if you make this a huge deal She will not wear them and her eyes will get worse. Trust me. I hid my glasses for years as a child and pay the price

My dd has worn glasses since she was 1½ years old and still has them age 20. She is long sighted and had a squint that was firstly treated by patching and then she had an eye operation to correct it.

The drops help the optician to work out a prescription so they don't have to rely on what the child says.

They can grow out of long sight as the eyes grow and develop. My dds eyes have improved a bit but not enough not to bees glasses.

I think you need to put things into perspective.
I have one son who wears glasses (a fairly strong prescription) His glasses mean he can see properly and no longer gets headaches.

my other son was born with a rare syndrome, he is a wheelchair user and is on medication for the rest of his life.
The wheelchair is a tool to help him get where he needs, is medication keeps him here and healthy.

When my son was diagnosed with his syndrome I was upset but he has the tools to help him thrive.

I wasn’t upset about my son and his glasses but those too are a tool to help him thrive.

We all need a little help to get where we need to be.

@Taciturn of course children should have regular eye tests. They can have a free test annually and mine have done since they were young.

I have never had the optician try to sell me glasses that they didnt need. If their sight was perfect no prescription was issued.

I understand the upset on a level. DD is +8.25 and has worn glasses since she was 2. Initially I did feel sad for her that she had poor vision and would have to wear specs but ultimately they just absorb it into “who they are” and you get used to it.

+2 isn’t a terrible prescription by any means and you kinda need to flip it into a positive where you can to help your daughter get used to the idea.

i really hope you didn’t make a drama in front of your daughter or she will never want to wear the glasses! “Heartbroken”? Really? Glasses will immensely help your daughter so why would you be heartbroken? My daughter had her eyes tested in nursery and they suspected reduced vision and referred her for further testing so she has wore glasses since she was 4. She has to wear them all the time but her vision has improved a lot and she may eventually not need them. It’s really not a big deal.

Oh for goodness sake get a grip.

You should have taken her for a routine test once she was 4/5. The issue might have been corrected. It will probably get worse now. I wore glasses from age 5 to 18 then I went onto contacts. I'm glad my kids don't need them but it's purely down to luck.

OP I have sympathy for your situation. I got my first pair of glasses in my late 40s and hardly anyone under 50 in our family has them. If you hadn’t noticed any issues then this would come as a shock, as it probably would to me if my pre-teen child needed glasses all of a sudden. Though it’s probably better if they get them when they are quite young - I’ve really struggled to get used to them as the world around me seems kind of disjointed now when I wear them!! I would take the advice about being positive but perhaps also get a second opinion.

This may have happened at school, it did for our now 6 year old

Maybe it wasn’t picked up

I loved my glasses from age 7 as I could see and stopped getting really bad headaches. You should be glad that she can be helped to see and you're not in a country that has no eye care. I bet she did pick up on your reaction.

I got glasses aged 9. They were a revelation. Being able to see things I didn’t know I was supposed to, from blackboards to bus numbers to shop signs.
I wore lenses as a teen onwards and moved back to glasses when I was pregnant.
Being able to see things clearly with my glasses is a privilege that I am grateful for everyday. If I lived somewhere with no NHS and no money my eyesight would limit my life everyday.
You may not have been expecting your child to be a glasses wearer but your children's experience of life will not be limited to what you think it will be.

My son had to wear glasses and be patched from 3 years old. It's never been an issue at all. Try not to transfer your disappointment to your child, glasses are far from the end of the world!

@EasternStandard

Really? I don't think mine had eye tests at school? If they did it would probably only be in reception and not until age 7 I'd assume?

@Hellomummy23 I've just had a quick look at Specsavers kids glasses. There are some really cute ones including Winnie the Pooh & Piglet, and Disney Princess. The school I worked in had a number of kids with glasses. One lad had Spiderman frames, another Harry Potter themed.
They are no longer the awful 1970s NHS goggles.
Is DD a bows & ribbons girl? Go shopping together and get some co ordinating hair accessories when she's chosen her specs. Make an afternoon of it. Have some fun & stop for a milkshake/hot chocolate/coffee (you, obvs!).

So balanced, OP should take a leaf out of your book, you sound lovely 🥰

Both my kids had an eye screening test at nursery before starting school. Dd already had glasses by then. Ds didn't need them.

Ds is 17 and recently got prescribed glasses for short sight after not needing glasses at all. Dd is long sighted

OP you're getting a hard time on here. Your feelings are valid - if you feel sad, you feel sad and it doesn't help when people say you shouldn't be experiencing the feeling. I felt sad (and guilty about feeling sad as obviously I understood there were far worse things) when my child first needed glasses. I just did - I've worn glasses for most of my life myself and I hate them actually, though I usually wear lenses. Yes I'm grateful my sight can be corrected, of course - but I'd rather have perfect vision if I could. You will get used to it and so will your daughter - and you've already said that you are behaving positively in front of her, which is of course the right thing to do. My child went on to choose contact lenses for secondary school, and laser surgery at 21. Be matter of fact about it with your daughter, encourage wearing them, a spare pair is useful (but probably not free). Your sadness will pass in time and the glasses will just become everyday life.

Look, it's just not a big deal. I've been wearing glasses since the age of seven, I'm now fifty, my life has been just fine and wearing specs did not adversely affect my childhood in any way. Admittedly, I did switch to contact lenses at 14yo for doing sport, but the frames available back then were pretty limited and not as fashionable, I now wear glasses about half the time.

My 9yo is actually quite annoyed that she has perfect eyesight (so far) and doesn't need glasses as she would love a pair! There are amazing frames everywhere, loads of kids wear them, there's just not the same stigma. If she hates glasses, there are lenses, and if she can't get on with them, there's always laser surgery when she's an adult.

In the nicest way possible, get a grip.

ive been wearing glasses since 19 months old-my prescription was always strong its got worse i have to have them sent off to be sepcially made meaning i cant get trendy or cheap ones

its not that bad it could even correct itself by the time shes a teen

Same happened to us when our kid just turned three. I was gutted too! It's not logical, but it's how feelings can work. I felt awful for him and for a couple hours every time I saw him with his glasses on I just felt so sad for him. He's four now and absolutely fine wearing them, he's far from the only one in his class who wears them and it's just no big deal at all. We all got used to it very quickly. You're lucky she's older and can keep them on more easily, it was a bit difficult at first to get a three year old to wear them!

I'm sure you're feeling some sort of guilt for not having picked up on it sooner or not having ever taken her for an eye exam before, but you can't change the past. Only what you do now for her. It will helps her loads being able to see properly. She might not even have known she wasn't able to before.

Eh?

my daughter had worn glasses since she was 3…..why is it a shock?

I mean what?!?…..