Please hold my hand - cancer.

[Trazzletoes]

Currently in hospital since last night with DS who is 3. Scans show masses on his brain. Drs believe them to be tumours, likely to have come from his abdomen.

Waiting for more scans/tests etc. staff are being overly nice to us which is worrying me more (though they did refer us to social services last night as they thought DH or I had fractured DS' skull.

Feel incredibly sick. He is 3 years old. Please hold my hand.

Trazzle - I've been where you are and I know how weird and surreal it feels.
Just focus on getting through each moment and you will cope because you have to.

My son's brain tumour was diagnosed just over a year ago; he's been having treatment for the last year and has just 2 months to go until his treatment finishes. It's been a roller coaster I have to say, but we're still here and that's the main thing.

Come to the Children with Cancer thread when you're ready.

My thoughts are with you.

Thinking of you and holding your hand, and his.

Thinking of you and sending hand holding and hugs.

Thinking of you and your little boy x

Thinking of you all.

hand holding x

Another one here thinking of you and your DS. It must be a huge shock to all of you.

Just wanted to add another message of support. Thinking of you all xx

Another hand to hold here..

Holding hands here to, hope you get some good news soon x

Thinking of you and your family. Sending positive vibes your way x

Gosh, thank you for all your support. I am a little overwhelmed, to say the least.

I'll keep this brief as I need some sleep and have been on the phone to family and friends all evening. I'm emotionally wrung out.

The Doctors have yet to confirm 100% (although they can't see any other alternatives) but they believe DS has neuroblastoma. They have described this to us as a particularly nasty cancer in which many cases aren't treatable.

However, they have said there is still some hope and we are desperately clutching on to that. We should know by the start of next week what we are dealing with.

DS suddenly looks so small and diminished.

But we have to believe it will turn out to be treatable. It will be. And if DS is given the opportunity to fight it, I know he will give it everything he has got.

We are utterly and completely devastated.

The primary tumour is on DS's adrenal glands (and it's not small, either), with 2 secondary tumours behind his eyes. He has complained of stomach pains for as long as I can remember, although they were diagnosed as non-specific food intolerances. I feel physically sick at the thought that this has been growing inside him all that time and I hadn't protected him.

I feel terrible that only this weekend, i told him off, or shouted at him because he was dawdling. Didn't show him enough love. Did the washing up instead of playing with him. Why have I wasted all these precious seconds?

I just want to scoop his little body in to my arms and protect him. Tell him that Mummy can make it all better with a kiss.

I feel so completely broken. How the hell can I be strong for him when I can't even be strong for myself, DD and DH?

You are strong. I can see it in your posts. You are a good mum.

HUGS to you and your family.

I will pray for your DS tonight

xxxxxxxx

I'm so sorry - I can't begin to imagine the hell you must be going through.
But please don't waste time dwelling on the "wasted moments" - those were just moments that come with being a parent, and you're clearly a very loving, committed parent. You will be in my thoughts.

Oh Trazzle I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. Please don't worry about telling him off etc that means nothing. You love each other, he knows it and you know it. Your strength will show by your being by his side.

Trazzle, up until now you were a normal mum to a normal little boy and you both did normal things which would have included housework - we all do it.

Now your whole world has been rocked and you're bound to be looking back and reflecting on things. But you can't change any of that. You are there for your ds now, you will stay strong and support him in every way that you possible can throughout this awful ordeal.

There is lots of virtual support on here. Can we do anything more practical to help? Would you like to say what hospital you're at and if you need or would like anything bringing in?

I'm so desperately sorry for you. Please don't let guilt a way in. You can tell from the way you write your boy is so lucky to have you as his mum. Crossing everything and hoping for the best and wishing you every ounce of strength.

So sorry to hear this. I will pray for you all.

I am so sorry. Your little boy knows how much you love him.

I am so sorry for you all, I really hope you get some better news. You couldn't have known this was happening. Your love and strength shine through.
Holding your hand x

Thanks, everyone keeps saying that, but it's hard to make myself believe it. I love him so much.

I'm maybe a little sensitive as well because his presenting symptoms meant that we were referred to Social Services for possible child abuse before the diagnosis was made. I've been questioning myself all last night.

Thanks for offers of help - there have been several on here but I don't think anyone who has posted their whereabouts on here is in my area. I will thank you for your offers of support and maybe see where we are after the weekend, when we will know what the way forward is. If he can e treated it's going to be a long and difficult process, we know that, and I'm sure there will be days when I'm begging someone on here to pop in to the ward to make me feel human again. I really appreciate it. I really do. It's good to know we are not alone xxx

Trazzle, another hand to hold here.xx

I'm so sorry, poor little sausage x

So sorry you are going through this. Thoughts with you and your family.