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Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

241 replies

EmilyMumsnet · 15/06/2015 12:30

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!
OP posts:
MrsHippo11 · 29/06/2015 14:50

It involves my daughter but she didn't actually do the deed...

I was dog sitting for my sister a little while back for a week. Day was like any other, it was 'that' time of day .... my daughter had filled her nappy ... and as she lay there with legs up and bum out on the floor, I realise I had forgotten the wipes! So run off to grab a pack and on my return I find a clean bum!!! Yes, the dog had licked the poop off her bum!!!! I was mortified!

rozsargent · 29/06/2015 16:06

when we moved in to our new home my daughter had just turned two and obviously did not like the wall paper in the hall way, so she decided to do some art work of her own by drawing on the walls with poo from her nappy, we were not impressed at all and the annoying thing was that I really liked the wall paper in the hall way and I was not to keen on the decor any where else.

clarem100 · 29/06/2015 20:23

she pulled her nappy off during a nap, did a poo and ended up sleeping in it

sleach · 29/06/2015 20:32

while my wife was changing ours sons nappie he sprayed shit all over her and left a outline of my wife on the radiator behind her i laughed so much i nearly shat myself.

Pmliu · 29/06/2015 23:48

I was changing my babies nappy when I lifted her legs to take the dirty nappy off, she had a sudden urge to pee, so I quickly put her legs down, not after some of her pee went on me. Having not learnt my lesson decided to lift her legs up again to try and pull her dirty nappy off from under her bottom and swap it for a fresh clean nappy, without warning her belly started making rumbling noises and her poop shot out at me and almost hit me in the face. Luckily I just managed to lift my head, but I did have her poop all over my trousers. Lesson learnt, lifting her legs too high stimulates her bowels.

sofieellis · 30/06/2015 12:12

I once walked into my twin boys' bedroom, to find they had woken early, taken off their napies and were busy making "Plasticine" type models out of their poo! Not the best start to the day!

farhanac · 30/06/2015 12:56

Pooh cannon.

bluearmy35 · 30/06/2015 13:04

My son was out walking he was around 4 years old, so was a few years ago. Anyway was walking by the river when he stopped and picked up what he said was an acorn stick!!!!!!! only to discover a few seconds later when we took a look that it was in fact a bit of hard dog poo, ive never laughed so much in my life.

Candyperfumegirl · 30/06/2015 13:21

I caught my daughter eating out of the bin once...ewww!

ElectroNymph · 30/06/2015 18:55

Eaten a woodlouse. Pretty gross...

BugritAndTidyup · 30/06/2015 19:00

Doing a poo in the bath. I wasn't paying attention (bad mama), so didn't realise until I saw it lying on the side. She'd fished it out and left it there like a hand-tickled trout.

Dolallytats · 30/06/2015 19:17

My son ate live crickets. We had a chameleon and a bearded dragon and they would sometimes escape. He got to them when I was out of the room.

My youngest daughter who is almost two sits every day with her finger stuffed up her nostril and whatever she finds gets eaten.

Apparently I ate a slug when I was little. My mum came into the garden to half a slug in my mouth.....it was one of those huge fat orangey coloured ones too

milliemoon · 30/06/2015 20:38

My son picked up some dog poo and said 'here you go mummy"

amrobe · 30/06/2015 21:24

A couple of months ago my 2 year old had put her hand down her back and into her nappy when she had done a poo. She'd done it and gone up to my husband showing him her hand, it took him a couple of seconds to realise what her hand was covered in! Sheer panic ensued, the only thing we could do was shove her in the bath and hose her down. I said it at the time, just when I thought I'd been grossed out as much as possible as a parent, my youngest just manages to find new ways to outdo herself!!

kaycm25 · 30/06/2015 21:25

My daughter used to wipe after going to the toilet but without tearing the paper off leaving dangling on the roll for the next unsuspecting person to find.

mynellie · 01/07/2015 10:40

my son was being toilet trained and i had left him without a nappy while i quickly popped to the loo,
i walked down the stairs to find my son rolling around in a nice big pooh and squashing it into my carpet whilst broadly smiling pooh mummy pooh Oh goodness i really didn't know whether to laugh or cry or where to start cleaning wow that was a memorable day

rainbow1976 · 03/07/2015 10:37

Whilst dismantling my 4 year old daughters cabin bed ready to move house I found that a big patch of the wallpaper behind the bed was covered in dry hard bogies!! Disgusting... now she always has a box of tissues in her bedroom

MrRichTea · 03/07/2015 12:11

Poo'd on the carpet, then rolled over it in his trike! eEw!

BeckityBoo · 03/07/2015 13:30

When my eldest was four and I was extremely sick in pregnancy with her sister, she decided to take advantage of my incapacity and explore things she's always wanted to know more about--like her own bodily functions. She took it upon herself to reach into the toilet before flushing and remove her own poo to examine it and feel its texture. Thankfully, her father walked in on her examination and cleaned her up good.

I wish I could say that was the only time she's been disgusting but she also dumped the toilet scrub brush water all over herself when she was one. At least she had the excuse of being too little to know better then.

SocialFlutterBy · 03/07/2015 16:16

My middle child at the park, it was a beautiful day and we had been there for quite some time she needed too wee, took her to the toilets, sure as sure can be the toilets are closed for the day!!!! anyway in a panic i find private bushy area where no one can see us (she's 5 btw) i take her trousers down so she can wee, scoop her up so my arms are like a toilet bowl for her to do her business, didn't take long to notice it wasn't a wee after all, i have never been so mortified, had to wait there for 30 minutes for OH to get there with a change of clothes and some cleaning products!! Kids are cute it's true but they should also come with a warning label lol

you would never imgine it possible from her cute wee face x (pictures lie too!)

Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!
buckley1983 · 03/07/2015 22:41

My little one was enjoying some nappy free time last summer, I nipped off to answer the door to the postie while he was playing with his cars.. literally less than a minute.. when I returned he was happily pushing his cars through his faeces. Couldn't have timed it better!

badgermum · 05/07/2015 09:20

My son was in the garden and did a poo he then picked it up and hid it under a tortoise ornament on the decking, it took a few hours before we found it . . . Disgusting

badgermum · 05/07/2015 15:01

My son was in the garden and did a poo he then picked it up and hid it under a tortoise ornament on the decking, it took a few hours before we found it . . . Disgusting

K3rry · 05/07/2015 22:54

my child has ate cat biscuits, ewwww

amelia4levi · 06/07/2015 11:20

Pooped and ATTEMPTED to put it to there mouth!
I was as fast as lightning McQueen and stopped it before the ISSUE got any worse lol

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