New Home for the Chalet School

[Vintagejazz]

Welome everyone. Dormy lists on the board as usual and I know you are all hoping like mad that you are all not in the same dormitory as Mary Lou. But only some of you can be the un lucky ones and the rest of us will have to make do with each other.

Oh, and the good news is that Joey has sabotaged discovered something wrong with the roof on her house and believe it or not, the only property available to rent is right next door to the school.

Shit Hurrah, lucky us.

Got to go. Matey wants me for unpacking.

Yes I heard Matey saying if Joan Baker hadn't been so quick to lie down she mightn't be in her 'current predicament'. She must have really ruined her eyesight. No wonder Matey and Miss Annersley are absolutely furious.

Gosh yes Vintage, that must be it.

Remember about the feathers in Mrs Maynard's garden when she used to have Plucking Parties for the Indiscreet and do not gossip about my friend Joan when she is so quietly happy.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she was Head Girl. She said she was hoping to follow in Mrs Maynard's footsteps.

I have been warned about Freudesheim already. I have a good stock of sheets with me for parties. I was also warned not to wear lacy underwear while jumping over candles

Do we have silver or flame braiding on our lime green blazers please?

Don't tell anyone, will you, but a man has appeared outside my window saying he is a secret bodyguard sent by my DGF the King, and I should immediately go somewhere unspecified up a mountain with him and his shifty friend. In the middle of the night. Without telling anyone.

What could possibly go wrong?

Lots could go wrong. You may meet hornets, pigs or falling meteorites. You may fall through the ice, have to listen to the Red Sarafin, or be torpedoed. Your hair may go snow white, need shaving off and then turn into curls, or be fashioned into a pony tail. There may be a blizzard or a flood or a Christmas Concert when you could easily die of boredom. Almost certainly you will be kidnapped, sung to, given a tasteful necklace of rhinestones and whisked off in a private rocket. There may be spineless jellyfish lurking out there, or even lavender bags. To be perfectly blunt you may well find yourself falling asleep to wake in paradise wearing only your knicks and cami and it will be all your fault for not thinking.

Hello mes amies. I was on a couple of the original threads under another name but Joey renamed me now I'm back under a different moniker. Is there a bed in the corner of Leafy for me? I've already had four of my dresses confiscated by Matey.

Joan Baker keeps being sick; she must have been having too many midnights. Has Thekla or someone been offering the raw pork sausage smoked bacon around again?

The entire series in a paragraph! That's brilliant.

Hagarthorne that's fantastic!

Finally de lurking after five threads .

Which dormy am I in? I'd quite like not to be in the same one as that bossy girl I've heard about. Mary-Poo or something like that?

I'm very susceptible to insect bites at this time of year, so Mummy has sent a bottle of tonic water liberally laced with gin with me, and Matey says I can keep it in my dormy so I don't have to keep bothering her every single time I get a bloody bite. Which surprised me a bit, as they are not really that bloody. So if anyone else gets bitten and wants a swig, please do say. Mummy is happy to send more.

I think new girls really need to be with M-L or how else are they ever to become real chalet girls????

Hello everyone wheres my cubey? I have just arrived from the council school, Mrs Gay have me her scholarship.

She seemed a bit worried about how nice her daughter Tom was to me with the giving me sweets and hair ribbons. She muttered something about grooming.

Anyway I am obviously well below the standard of all you lot as the council school just teaches you broad Yorkshire and not much else. Strange that as we live down South.

The tall dark lady next door with the hair, says I should go ahead and be friends with her Len, fuck me she's boring, because when God came down he choose a village girl not a fine lady.

Absolutely no idea what she's banging on about.

Talking of banging has anyone seen Joan? I hear her hands will be very full by Christmas

Noooooooo, Hels71!
I'm sure there are many others who can teach us to be good Chalet Grils. That nice Joan Baker that everyone seems to talk about so much?

Hagathorne brilliant.

I'm here people. I have turned over a new leaf and am going to study hard and become a doctor. Then I could marry myself?

Will the San accept a female in a Doctor's role?

No Joan they won't.

Shouldn't you be laying off the and knitting a tiny vest or something.

Only Mary-Lou can help people become real chalet girls.....however if you can cope with second best maybe you could be in a dorm with Joan Baker...

Joey said she would knit the vests for me. She said she's got the wool anyway. Some shade of green, I think she said.

I love the idea of Joan Baker as the San's first female doctor.

Oooh those cold baths are bracing! Just brushed my curly mop into a frizz. All trig and trim for the day :)

Joan my lamb did you not learn that although we desire you to be cultured women your first task is to be a good wife and home maker.

Please stop being so vulgar and marry the first doctor that asks you. Failing that a banker or a naturalist.

Doctor indeed. Remember what happened to Daisy.?

I think you've been eating too many shop bought cakes Joan. If you don't mind me saying, you've put on a bit of weight lately. I heard Matey saying she would have to let out the seams of your gentian gym slip. You will never bag a doctor that way.

Ooh and I've just heard Miss Annersley and Joey saying if you'd exercised a bit more control you wouldn't be in the state you're in.
Now I don't think you look a state Joan, but you definitely don't look as trig and trim as you used to.

You're all here. Good. I wandered off during a hike and fell off a mountain but I've spent the last week finding my way back with the help of the local goating folk. Speaking of whom, one of them asked if I know Joan! Would you believe? Apparently she's popular with the local herdsmen.