Best part of being childfree

[Mintgum]

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

I like the freedom to go out whenever I like without having it be a military operation or have to pay for babysitter.

Freedom is the big word for me too. Its something I value very much.

Definitely freedom.
But in my experience of watching friends with their adult kids it's just relief - no fussing, worrying, mollycoddling..... because for some parents, it seems like they never stop. Who wants that in their old age?

I think it changes as you get older, now I look at my older friends and I think I'm glad I don't have the financial drain they have and the worry over there children's safety that they have no contact over, and I did want children but was unable to have them, many years ago now.

I don't have to worry that despite my best intentions, I've ruined someone's life!
I don't have to worry about influencing someone badly or them taking up my bad habits.
I don't have to tell someone what to do or have to control them, at least to an extent.
I don't have to worry about the future too much beyond my own lifetime.
I don't have to worry that something bad would happen to them.

About 6 months back there was a thread where a woman had left her child downstairs playing. When she came downstairs not long after, she found that this child, 3 or 4 years old I think, had put their hand in their nappy and smeared poo not only over the floors and walls but also all over the sofa and things on the shelves. He laughed when she came and saw what he'd done.
I've also seen threads where people talk about babies having exploding nappies, poonamis, and when their being held their kid just pooped down them. Also seen threads where people talk about their kids poojg up the wardrobe. Basically it all just seems repulsive. They tell it like it's a cute funny story but it disgusts me.

The fact that, outside work, my time is my own. It must be absolutely soul destroying spending your precious free time permanently ferrying kids from one activity to the next.

> Not spending time with children
> Quiet
> Cleanliness
> Money
> Freedom
> Identity

To me, a life with children looks small, boring, suffocating and miserable. So, the absence of all that basically.

I think the argument is pointless. You're never going to see each other's point of view and you're never going to convince her otherwise.

Peace and quiet and nobody making a mess of themself or the house that I have to sort out.

I can get up when I want and do whatever I like, in silence, with nobody bothering me or requiring me to watch them do X, or clean up their bodily fluids.

I accept that when you have older children you can also do these things, but I don’t want a child of any age living in my house and I’m very happy that I don’t!

Not having extra people to worry about.

My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen

If you don't want children then cool, don't have them and enjoy your life. I'm absolutely baffled as to why that means you wouldn't babysit your niece or nephew occasionally? I hope you never need help from a relative.

Freedom. And headspace.

I couldn’t live with another person, whoever they were. Just the idea is suffocating. Cats, absolutely, but when I’m away my wonderful pet sitter comes in twice a day to feed & play with them & sends me videos. I think if I have any vestige of maternal instinct, that’s where it went.

I completely get that lots of women love having kids. I wouldn’t. Not even the ‘good’ bits or when they’re grown up.

Are you suggesting that she may not get any future help because she hasn't babysat their kids? Would you say that to a man?

The best thing about being childfree is not having children, because I don’t want children. It’s as simple as that.

Being childfree has many benefits for me eg space, time, freedom etc but none of them are the reason I’m childfree or the best thing about it. I just simply don’t want children.

Exactly this!!

Apart from the obvious things - not having grandchildren. A close friend has three. Their whole lives seem to be focused on supporting their daughter's family unit and it's not something I'd ever want.

I really hate that "you're missing out on a type of love" line. It's so idiotic.

I have children, and the love is not only unique it is different for each child. There is no one kind of parental love so how can you miss out on it?

We ALL "miss out" on certain types of love - for example I'm an only child so I don't know what it's like to relate to and love a sibling.

More to the point: every single form of love is unique to the two people who share it.

Ugh. Only crashing idiots and utter simps do things like that.

I feel so heartbroken for women who have kids with a useless or abusive man, and are then tied to them for the next 18 years, or left to scrabble together a life without support for their kids, or with active and malicious interference...

I've read so often here about Mum and kids egg-shelling around the moods of a grumpy man... of courts mandating contact with an abusive father... or about someone doing the hard graft of bringing up their kids alone, and then Dad Disneys in when they're teenagers and sweeps them off to live with his girlfriend and no rules, so they think Mum's a cow...

(And the Step Family threads are another layer of hell altogether... 😧)

Without kids in the picture, they could say Seeya and be gone in the time it takes to pack a suitcase. It's an entrapment.

And the poo. I could not handle the poo. I know, people say it's different when it's your own kid; but I could shovel oomska from any animal in the world, not a problem. Don't know why kiddie crap seems so much worse to me. Maybe I was traumatised by a Tiny Tears at a formative age...

And that's another thing! It's the worst possible deal for women - men seem to get away with so much of it! Their careers undented, their bodies unruined, and everyone thinking they're a sexy superhero for 'babysitting' their own offspring occasionally!

So I do have kids but I fell like your missing out the best part of not having kids and that's putting on your jacket, grabbing your handbag and walking out of the house. Once have kids leaving the house becomes a military operation 🙈

Absolutely if I am going out alone, but I have a husband who is a world-class faffer! I can pick up my bag and be outta there, but the husband somehow finds twenty non-straightforward things to 'just do' before he leaves ... not so much a military operation as like trying to herd a cat.

No. School. Mums. 😨

I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.

I can get up when I want with nobody bothering me or requiring me to clean up their bodily fluid

I've also seen threads where people talk about babies having exploding nappies, poonamis, and when their being held their kid just pooped down them. Also seen threads where people talk about their kids poojg up the wardrobe. Basically it all just seems repulsive. They tell it like it's a cute funny story but it disgusts me.

And the poo. I could not handle the poo. I know, people say it's different when it's your own kid; but I could shovel oomska from any animal in the world, not a problem. Don't know why kiddie crap seems so much worse to me. Maybe I was traumatised

I think these responses are pretty telling. It’s not this normal to be afraid of a little kids poo