I am so happy not having kids

[ForestGoblin]

Had an existential wobble but now I'm of an age where the window is closing I'm feeling real alignments with this life.

No life is perfect but I really feel it's a blessing to have had this choice. Thank GOD for living now, when we can really live as our authentic selves.

High five to everyone who is living the old Polonius lifestyle, whatever that looks like for them.

Me too! Every time I'm around children I'm so glad I don't have any.

I'm very, very grateful to have been born in this time and place and in these circumstances where I haven't had to have children.

I actually wanted children but now feeling glad and relieved that nature spared me. Really loving this life.

Old Polonius?

I have been really down but you have reminded me of one of the biggest blessings in my life, thank you OP.

God yes! My (childfree) neighbours invited me to a BBQ on Sun and I had every intention of going until I saw out of my window that a couple had turned up with a toddler (and we're literally holding the toddler up right in the centre of the group and looked like they were dominating any conversation). All the other neighbours are childfree and people I really like but I just couldn't face it with the toddler front, right and centre. So I didn't go. I don't like children and I don't want to spend my free time around then, especially not if they have fawning parents. Tedious.

I find I mind children less now I know they never have to be part of my life. I feel a compassion for the hard work parents have to do.

Me too; neither my partner or I have any children by choice and I'm thankfully nearing the age when random people stop rudely questioning my choices like I don't know my own mind...

I have nieces and nephews who I do love immensely however watching my sibling raise small children has only absolutely solidified my belief in my choice.

I was willingly assisting at my nieces 4th birthday party the other week, and being in a room full of parents of toddlers and babies I had a real sense of feeling completely and utterly disconnected from the whole atmosphere. Literally the thought of parenting makes me feel almost physically suffocated.

Oh I hear you! I spent years in turmoil over the baby question, and still have the odd moment, but I'm also grateful to be childfree on virtually a daily basis

I spent the weekend with my nephew - he's an absolute delight and I loved spending time with him. But oh my lord am I so relieved that my house is not full of plastic crap, that I can just think about myself and what I need most of the time, that I virtually always get a full night's sleep, that I don't have to plan or pay for childcare, that I don't have to give a thought to school uniforms and homework and all that stuff. I definitely made the right choice, even if I do have the odd wistful moment

Some of you are much more tolerant than me, I find myself jumping out of my skin just being in the presence of a child, the sheer fucking high pitched shrieking.

I had a wistful moment the other day when I saw a family - mum, dad, daughter - come out of their house obviously on their way to a graduation ceremony. But then I thought that even had I had children I might not have got to go to a graduation. I didn’t go to university and my sibling chose not to attend theirs - I don’t remember why now. There are never any guarantees.

This

I wanted children, in theory, but didn't meet anyone despite spending my 30s frantically trying to meet someone.

It was a relief when menopause arrived and the window closed, and I could just get on with living my life without feeling a clock ticking and trying to date. Looking back on it, I would have found it very hard to be a mother - I hate noise, need a lot of downtime, get very anxious, and have a lot of hobbies I enjoy.

Every time I read a thread with a normal and adjusted seeming parent at the end of their rope because of some atrocious behaviour (usually from teens or young adults who failed to launch) I feel this.

Polonius lifestyle? I googled and found nothing, what is it?

I never remotely considered children, and wouldn't have even if I'd had a partner. There is absolutely nothing I like about their company, and the idea of putting my own life or long term health at risk in pregnancy and childbirth was a huge no. I have quite enough responsibility looking after those I do love and whose company I enjoy, ie many generations of cats. I loathe it when grandchildren are visiting the retirement village where I live and are allowed to run around the garden shrieking. It's not a bloody playground ffs and there are people on walking sticks and frames here! And as for teenagers, yuck. Didn't like them when I was one.

Apologies for intruding... I have a child although I had a wonderful life without one and know I'd have stayed very happy if I never had him (I don't like young children, mine is late teems now and is great because he's pretty much human an adult). I'm loving reading this thread, there's a lot of pressure on woman to reproduce, but the majority of my friends never had children and lead awesome and fulfilling lives and it's so lovely to see woman who embrace this!

These replies are fab. I feel bad as I do have kids and am always telling people not to...not telling but advising is that rude? People laugh at me and some in disgust but I'm living it. Saying that when the kids were in camp the other day and I was at home packing for a holiday that's not a holiday let's be honest when it's all about the kids I did miss them. But the second they came back to fighting screaming crying I regretted me thinking I missed them. I literally woke up thinking about my best friend who has 3 (3rd was an accident) and one has been diagnosed with Autism and the other 2 are being investigated and she's always stressed and depressed with an arse of a husband who doesn't help! So you guys have made good decisions
Sorry if I am not allowed to post on childfree MN!

Cross posted @Gumbo solidarity!

Also, you might have already seen this but https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4868480-starting-a-thread-about-how-bloody-hard-parenting-is?reply=128298883

Oh god, absolutely.

The freedom and ability to have lots of lovely sex and no ghastly children makes us the luckiest women who have ever lived. I'm grateful for it every day.

Yes! And I have 2 ( adult) dc but I am incredibly intolerant of children. I hope my 2 don't have them.

I often think this if I see a parent having to cope with a crying/whining child in a public place. Say it's a train and they're sitting opposite, mildly annoyed by the noise, I'm thinking 'thank goodness I can get off in two stops' time and get away from this!' and imagining how awful it would be never to be able to get away but to have this noisy, demanding little person constantly at my side.

I have never regretted NOT having children - there are so many benefits to being child-free.

When I see the traffic jams, queues at airports/ports during the school holidays, and the mad daily rush to secure a sunbed at holiday resorts, I silently chuckle to myself and feel so lucky I have never had to do that - because I take my holiday when the kids have gone back to school.

Funnily enough, reading Mumsnet has totally convinced me (not that I needed it) that I made the right choices in life.

I’m assuming the ‘Polonius lifestyle’ comment is a reference to Polonius’ speech to Laertes in Hamlet, which features the lines ‘To thine own self be true […] Thou canst not then be false to any man’.

Though context is important — not insignificant, surely, that Shakespeare puts this fine-sounding advice into the mouth of a pompous, meddling windbag, chief counsellor to the play’s murderous villain, and who is wrong in every judgement he makes in the play and is accidentally killed while spying. (And while he says it to his son while sending him off abroad, he then sends his servant to spy on his son to see if he’s misbehaving…)

See, I'm a little different, I think. I like kids, especially tiny babies. I like the stage where a baby stays where you put them, I could cope with that, not so keen when they start moving around under their own steam. However, I've always liked being able to hand them back to someone else when they cry or make a smell! I am thoroughly content with the decision I made in my late teens. I had a brief broody spell when I turned 30, but thankfully that passed quickly, and my DH was never bothered. 51 now and increasingly happy with the choice.

What a lovely thread! I did have a wobble when I was a bit younger, but now that I'm older I'm just so relieved to be childfree. I see my friends still fussing and stressing about their adult children, and I realise that I've dodged a bullet.