The official Childfree on MN bingo card

[ItsNotRocketSalad]

We have 24 squares to fill. What lines get trotted out on every thread that discusses the child free?

My suggestions:

1. You'll need my children to be your carers when you're old
2. Only parents understand real love
3. Childfree people shouldn't take annual leave in school holidays

I've called house several times on the 'what won't you give up for climate change'. A range of delightful comments from charming contributors

-'these people'

• 'why are you on MUMSnet?
• 'you are a fool if you didn't reproduce because of climate change'
• 'childless people crowing about how they don't care.'
• you need my kids to wipe your arse. Etc

I know! Whenever people in real life start talking about climate change OR ask me about not having children (in a less than positive way) I am pretty forthright about the ecological impact of having children in the West.

I don’t have children and I don’t drive a car <smug>. It shuts up the virtue signallers.

I take the opposite approach. I could fly every month and eat steak every night, and my and my zero descendents’ combined ecological footprint would still be lower than theirs, so they can wind their fucking necks in.

I think the intolerance of anyone who has a different opinion or way of living is just MN, with an additional dollop for the CF. There's a thread about self service machines in shops and the people who don't want to use them are being called Luddites, stuck in the past, blocking progress because they don't like it...it seems that a large section of MN just can't bear that people think differently, live differently, have different ways they'd like life to be, and they get rather wound up about dissent.

As for you need my kids to wipe your arse, I'm trying to preserve my health and well being so that I DON'T have to rely on someone to wipe my backside; for my own dignity and because if the kids are as unpleasant and ignorant as some of their parents I'd rather they didn't come near me. Just a shame some people have no ambition for their children apart from wiping bums, though.

Well quite @LoobyDop My external research funding body questioned my inclusion of flights into a bid on ethical grounds. I responded that as I had no children and do not drive a car, a couple of flights are negligible in terms of the ethics of my carbon foot print.

Don't have kids, don't drive and never have, haven't flown since 2012. And if the planet is going to burn whatever we do, what's the point? eat, drink and be merry. UK can do what it likes, but until countries like China come on board we might as well not bother.

There’s nothing wrong with “wiping bums” as a career. I wouldn’t want anybody who spoke about care work in those terms coming near me either, but looking down on people who work in care is one of my big bugbears.

When they make comments about “my kids will be wiping your arse,” I wonder what’s their alternative?

Everyone, if we’re lucky to live long enough, is going to get old and may require some form of care. It’s not a given but it’s a definite possibility. Even the blessed parents may find themselves needing someone to wipe their arses.

Are they saying that because they have kids that they have ready-made arse wipers/ carers in their children? Then it leads down to the question of who would want their children to wipe their arses rather than someone who is a professional and is being paid for it?

And yet, here we are, not having kids and being called selfish for it…

You know the parents who say this ("you need children to be born to wipe your bum when you're old") would be horrified if it was THEIR children doing care work though.

God I’ve seen so many posters say breezily “oh I’ve got 3/4/5 kids but we recycle so I think we’re good!”

For the life of me I can’t understand why so many parents don’t give a shit when it’s their own kids and grandkids who’ll suffer but I guess one advantage is that I don’t have to worry about that.

It's amazing, isn't it? There is a real detachment (?) or blindness(?) or arrogance(?). I don't know what it is. There is just something really off about people with multiple children talking about the state of the environment.

I've had people on this site lecture me because I use environment-destroying tampons. Do they really think the Mooncups they are using counteracts the damage their children are adding to the planet?

But I know, I know, they're here to wipe my ass and pay my pension one day. While my taxes pay for their education, health care, and child benefit today.

But I know, I know, they're here to wipe my ass and pay my pension one day. While my taxes pay for their education, health care, and child benefit today

Our side of the equation is always ignored, for some reason.

Isn't it funny how it's never "these children were bred to wipe my arse when I'm old and incontinent". It's always someone who's childless who apparently will need these services.

I know someone who had five daughters yet ended up in a nursing home because none of her daughters wanted the responsibility of taking care of her.

And as the carer for my mother (with, thank God, personal carers for showering) I can't say I blame them! My own sister said straight out if it fell to her she'd have put Mum in a nursing home.

But back to the point, yes, it shows how stupid the arse-wiping argument is.

Brilliant one on a thread in AIBU about there being more 'child haters' about nowadays:

I think there's a general rise in childfree adults, both due to delay in people starting families and falling fertility generally, and to be honest it can go hand in hand with a degree of selfishness.

That poster can fuck the fuck off, in my opinion.

Tbf the others are pointing out it's not just us adn that parents can be very selfish.
Nice!

Nkce as in, we are being stood up for!

Because popping out little mini-mes and forcing the rest of society to treat them as the centre of the universe is nit selfish at all 🙄

Another thread in AIBU a few of us have seen today, saying "nobody's that interested in childfree women," with the inevitable "I pity them" (since deleted) and "here they come to tell us they're so special" comments.

Is it jealousy? Do some mothers just hate that there are other women out there happy to not be going through what mothers are going through? Do they take it personally that not all women want their lives? Like it's a personal attack or something. Like we're saying "Eww your life is awful. I don't want that." Which is probably why they throw that at us. Rather than see we're actually saying "That would be an awful life for me." Nothing to do with them.

I do think some people are threatened by any difference. It throws up the option to question things they have done - such as marry, and reproduce - that they have never thought to question themselves on.

Funny, too, how often bitter is the word of choice thrown at women (but not men, of course) who have chosen not to have children, and may not even desire their company. Why on earth would one be bitter when everything confirms one's choice?

I'm childless, rather than childfree. I'm not the least bitter about my life. Why would I be?

"here they come to tell us they're so special" comments.

That really annoyed me. How many times do CF women have to insist that actually we are quite happy and fulfilled, thanks, only to have this turn into an accusation of us insisting that we’re “special”?