The official Childfree on MN bingo card

[ItsNotRocketSalad]

We have 24 squares to fill. What lines get trotted out on every thread that discusses the child free?

My suggestions:

1. You'll need my children to be your carers when you're old
2. Only parents understand real love
3. Childfree people shouldn't take annual leave in school holidays

This is what I mean. This weird, "ha, gotcha, y u so obsessed with me" and "God they all hate us don't they"

It's a response. On an internet thread. Of strangers. And I can't watch Netflix because the sodding WiFi has been down since 4pm.

Even the "yeah, let's all do the animals again" is so weird. I saw another thread (possibly on here, possibly on another section) where someone was saying "can we stop with the animals, it's so frustrating, it just wastes the whole thread, and makes us all look incapable of any form of discussion" and I thought, yes, fair play to her for saying so.

But please be assured, I couldn't care less whether you have zero children, or thirty. Makes no odds to me. Just like you don't care if I have zero children, or thirty. Either choice doesn't invalidate someone's opinion, or their right to voice it.

This tiny example is bang on.

Poster says "I genuinely don't care what your choices are, that's not what I was discussing."

Thread "See that's a lot of responding for someone who doesn't care!"

Poster "I mean, I can't add anything other than repeat, I truly don't"

Thread "Well you obviously do!"

Poster "Because I keep correcting the incorrect statement you make about me?"

Thread "Obsessed!"

I find this really interesting split at work or in social groups where someone is asked to introduce themselves and 95% of the time mothers will mention their children at some point during the introduction but fathers only 5% of the time

Similarly there was an ice breaker thing at work where people were asked to say the thing they were most proud of and all the mothers said their children and then the fathers were a little embarrassed because only one of them had thought to write his children down.

I don't think there's a right or a wrong. I think it's lovely when people are proud of their children etc. But I do wonder if that's why I struggled more to define who I was than my DH did when we realised we wouldn't have children. Because women are almost expected to define themselves as mother first. When like you say you are so much more than that

It is annoying as a parent, to be honest, that if I'm found slaughtered one day I'll just be described as my kids mother, when I'm more than that.

Oh yes. The headline is always "Mother-of-two found dead" then somewhere halfway down the article does it mention that she was also a top cardiologist at a major teaching hospital and was part of a team that developed life-saving medical equipment. It's like it doesn't matter how much else she has about her, it's the existence of children that makes her death more tragic.

I think because it's ingrained from childhood that motherhood is magical, and if you're by any stretch not finding it magical, you must be a shit mother.

So, if you don't instantly as a reflex say that your children are your greatest achievement, you assume the other women will be judging you. If that's not your reflex response, it must be that you're a shit mother.

It's really hard to retain your identity. And the harder you try to retain it, and not become simply "John's mummy" you get accusations of being non maternal, self absorbed, a lesser parent. Like you say, even in death, the report would say "John's mummy."

Unless she's a scout leader found dead on a mountain (not on a scout trip)

There was a real thing about 15 years ago for any kind of accident etc involving a scout leader to be reported like "Scout leader trips on a rock" regardless of whether they actually had a scout pack with them at the time.

My DH and I were both scout leaders at the time and used to joke if we got a papercut we better be careful it didn't end up in the news 😂

Tbf they do aimilar to men unless his job is top notch or unique or something.
"father of 2 dead"
It's because it pulls on heart strings of readership I think because only then it's a real shame...

I wonder if I will be "aunt of 1 died" 😂

There often seems to be a suggestion that if a mother gets arrested, or attacked, or whatever, it’s awful because of her poor children.

Does that mean it doesn’t matter so much if something like that happens to a woman without kids?

Just lazy journalism. Like it's always 'families.' Families feeling COL crisis. Families having holidays ruined by strikes. While single CF witches like me waft around blessing ourselves that we don't have bills to pay and we can be wafted to our hols just like that.

If you're married it will be "wife of <insert husband's occupation> died..." Because your marital status is what defines you after children. 😆

In the 19c birth announcements used to be 'to the wife of Mr X, a son.' Poor woman didn't even get a name check for all that effort.

At work I had to do a mandatory training module on cyber security. One of the slides was how to choose a good password. Instead of just saying to choose something which included capital letters, small letters, numbers and special characters, they worked through the example of ‘using your circumstances’ and using the first letter of each word in a sentence such as “I am married with 2 children aged 5 & 7” to give a password of Iamw2ca5&7 - I mean, honestly, wtf?? I actually meant to give them feedback about it but never got round to it

Yes lol. I found that so frustrating when I was doing my genealogy/family history research. Trying to find the children of great-great-great-great-grandparents John Smith and Dophinause Clambake was impossible because only the father was named on birth announcements. "J. Smith" isn't the most helpful name.

That's a little bit genius! But problematic a year later when they age up.

Ialisw2ca12&13a2da13&14

I am living in sin with 2 cats aged 12 & 13 and 2 dogs aged 13 & 14

My password would be IAMCPP (I am married, childfree, petfree and plantfree) but it sounds rude and there's no number 😂

Oh fuck yeah🙄
Statistically he would go firat, but then i would just be a widow of🙄

🤦I do first letter of fave song chorus , number and specific character. I run 3 songs like that

I work at a large teaching hospital and we once had a poster talking about the seriousness of good infection control. It was very cheesy (think medical device talking about the people it helps 🤮). All three examples were defined by their relationship to other people - a much cherished baby, a beloved mother, a grandfather of four. To be, it’s the antithesis of what medicine and healthcare is about to define people according to their relationship with others.

*To me

Happens with grandparents too. 75 year old grandmother this 80 year old grandfather that.

That sounds like "how to make a password that's really easy to hack"! So much for the "don't use your birthday/kids' birthdays/pets' birthdays" etc ...

Diceware. I keep a die in my bag for this reason. If where you work has stupid "must have a big letter and a little one and a number" type rules then just tack one on the end, and complain to your Chief Information Security Officer.

Interesting! That sounds better than the stupid things ipad comes up with.

After many years in the NHS I concur, this is irritating.

I a, my children's mother, but I feel very strongly that I am not a random "mother of two" because that's insulting to me, my children, their father and every childfree woman out there.