The official Childfree on MN bingo card

[ItsNotRocketSalad]

We have 24 squares to fill. What lines get trotted out on every thread that discusses the child free?

My suggestions:

1. You'll need my children to be your carers when you're old
2. Only parents understand real love
3. Childfree people shouldn't take annual leave in school holidays

"you're not a real family".

Strangely, DH gets this more than me, and from blokes.

Bingo!,

People who don't have / want children posting in the childfree forum! Shock!

I could not give less of a fuck if someone has children or not but I think it's really bizarre to form an identity around something you don't have and aren't interested in (apparently).

I don't join discussion boards for "dog-free people" or "people who aren't interested in golf".

To be honest this thread appeared in actives. I didn't go into the childfree board.

When people reply they don't often look at the board names.

@Superfood I’m pretty sure that people who don’t have dogs or aren’t interested in golf don’t face the same kind of challenges trying to just live life the way they want to as child free / childless women do (by society at large - just think how child free/ childless women are so often portrayed in popular culture and media). There is a good reason that there are communities / boards that offer support and a place for understanding of shared experiences. I’m also not into golf but I have never been told my life is somehow worth less because of this.

"Aren't you lonely?/worried about being lonely in old age?

Having children doesn't automatically mean that wouldn't happen anyway.

No-one gives anyone the side eye/third degree for not liking golf.

"Keep trying because my cousin's aunty's colleague's neighbour's doctor's wife managed to conceive on her 27th round of IVF"

@stanleytheflamingo @Oblahbla I don't drive either and I've had plenty of side-eye, third degree and unpleasant comments about that. I still wouldn't be interested in spending time talking to other "car-free" people or coming up with reasons it's better not to drive or thinking up bingo cards of the things people say to you if you don't drive, in our very car-centric society.

Anyone who tells someone they are worth less because they don't have children is a rude, stupid idiot, and not worth thinking about for a moment.

People who don't have dogs aren't expected to give up their holidays so dog owners can take their dogs away

People who don't have dogs aren't told 'but you'd make such a wonderful dog owner'

People who don't have dogs aren't told 'you don't know what tiredness/love is until you've had dogs.'

People who don't have dogs aren't regarded as second class citizens by dog owners.

People who aren't dog owners aren't told 'but you'll change your mind when the right dog comes along,'

People without dogs aren't told 'but you're depriving your parents of the chance to be dog grandparents!'

All stuff that people without children get.

I think it's really bizarre to form an identity around something you don't have

It's not an identity. This is me. This is who I am. Being childfree is a fundamental part of me. And I'm getting mightily fed up of the people coming on this board who can't or won't respect what it and us are about and why we post.

'Anyone who tells someone they are worth less because they don't have children is a rude, stupid idiot, and not worth thinking about for a moment.'

Well, yes. But it's a recurring theme. A fifth of women in the UK never have children. For some, it's heartbreaking. For others it's a well thought through decision. Most child free women have given their decision a lot of thought. Dare I say it, more thought than many women who have children have given to their decision to have a child.

Anyone who tells someone they are worth less because they don't have children is a rude, stupid idiot, and not worth thinking about for a moment.

Easy to say when you're not on the receiving end of it much too often. Besides, it permeates society.

I think that is true for many people, because it's their first experience of full-time caring. But I have cared for both elderly adult parents and children (not my biological children, but I was the main carer). I'd say that the parents were equally exhausting, mentally, and more so physically, because of their size.

The other big difference is that, unless you have a child with a life-limiting condition or significant disabilities, a child gradually becomes less dependent (albeit after what seems like eternity 😉), whereas a parent only gets more needy. So it is psychologically harder, as you know things will only get worse.

I still wouldn't be interested in spending time talking to other "car-free" people or coming up with reasons it's better not to drive or thinking up bingo cards of the things people say to you if you don't drive, in our very car-centric society

And yet I bet some people do. How they manage, why they decided not to drive, what it's like being a non-driver in a car-centric society, how to choose a holiday that doesn't mean driving....

In fact, I'd say you'd made a bad example there. Being a non-driver in this society is regarded as being almost as odd as being childfree by some people and hence a topic for discussion.

Most child free women have given their decision a lot of thought. Dare I say it, more thought than many women who have children have given to their decision to have a child.

Absolutely.

Umm. That is exactly why I chose it as an example. Because it is comparable. Sorry, I thought that was explicit in my post.

And no, I've never taken part in a "car-free" forum or bonded with someone over our non-driver status or supported someone in their decision not to own a car.

Why would I be interested in talking about something I am, by definition, not doing?

Why would I be interested in talking about something I am, by definition, not doing?

I don't know. Like I don't know why you're on here. I don't know why you choose the discussions you choose to participate, only you can answer that.

Participate in.

I'm asking why you would want to spend time talking about something you're not doing and are not interested in.

It just seems a really negative way to look at the world. Why not invest time in discussing the activities and interests you actually enjoy and like, rather than defining yourself in terms of something you're not?

It just seems a really negative way to look at the world. Why not invest time in discussing the activities and interests you actually enjoy and like, rather than defining yourself in terms of something you're not?

It is so revealing that you see being childfree as a non-identity, rather than a positive choice that some of us would like to discuss and celebrate.

Indeed.

Why not invest time in discussing the activities and interests you actually enjoy and like, rather than defining yourself in terms of something you're not?

See @MissLucyEyelesbarrow 's reply.

Why are you so bothered about what other people post and why? Incidentally, I don't regard being childfree as a negative. In your words, I actually enjoy and like my childfree status.

It's right there in the word you've chosen. It literally focuses on the word "child".

I am dog-free, cat-free, car-free, diabetes-free, yacht-free, second-home-free, hearing-aid-free, etc. Could go on forever.

There are so many other boards on here where you could talk about the things you like to do, without focusing on whether or not you are a parent, and no one would judge you for it or have any interest in it.

Other than the thread about adult- focused days out, which is of interest to many people whether they are parents or not, all of the threads are just encouraging people to focus on their lack of children (whether that's a positive choice or something sad and upsetting) rather than engaging positively with other aspects of life.

You really think having or not having a dog or playing or not playing golf is comparable to having or not having a child? Has anyone actually said to you "I don't understand why anyone would not want to play golf, it brings such joy"?