What would you do in this childcare situation? Nanny or boarding school?

[Pawslikepaddington]

In three years (miles away, I know, but I'm already worrying!) I will have an 8 y/o dd. I am a single parent and I can't see that changing. For one year, I will be working 8am until 10pm almost every weekday, and so don't know what would be best.

My hours after that year will be bad, but I can bring work home, so will not be stuck in the office, so am more likely to be able to pick dd up from school and drop her off etc.

I went to a boarding school at 11, and those that boarded from 8 loved going (she would be a weekly boarder), but to me 11 seems too young, let alone 8. But on the plus side she would be able to stay on at the school then as a day pupil once this awful year was over.

Dd will have to move schools that year anyway, as we have to move out of the area we are in at the moment (she is in state at the moment, and will stay in state if we get a nanny).

A nanny seems like a much better option for me, but would they be ok with these kind of hours? They seem very long! And we would be talking a lot of money wouldn't we, as I would have to leave the house at 6.30/7am each morning, so the nanny would have to be there from 6.30am until 10pm.

This is worst case scenario hours-wise, but sadly it also looks like it will be the most likely one. I know this is a dreadful situation to put dd in, but it is for the best, or I would not be doing it. I feel dreadful about it already.

By the way, we have nanny housekeepers - always Asian so far (we don't live in the UK so visas are easier), we've never had a qualified nanny, just picked nice, kind people who like looking after children and aren't fussy about doing a bit (a lot!) of everything. It works very well - even though dividing between work and kids is hard, at least you don't have to worry about sorting clothes out, making dinner, blah blah as well.

I m not sure what people mean when they say nanny-housekeeper as there is not strict discription

But personally i would say that you need a top nanny, with bags of initiative as you ll not be there to micro-manage, someone with plenty of experience, able to help with homework, passionate about her job, able to cope with crisis. She can do some light housework when dd at school, then you can pay £30-40 for a 3 hours cleaner to do the more heavy cleaning.(save money on anything else but never on quality of childcare)

I dont believe in 'combining roles' or shortcuts. If you find it there is a thread about education of nannies where some nannies and former nannies like me we posted. Most of us had a degree and did this job because we loved it. I think you need someone like this. Maybe a=pairs and housekeepers work for some families but you are going to be away so many hours, make sure your dd is with a top nanny.
Besides you ll be so busy and tired to spend your evenings posting here complaining about your AP like some mnetters do

Can i just add, you can hire a bi-lingual nanny so your dd is learning/practising a language as well. That way you can feel the money is well spent money even if you have to employ a cleaner.
At least this is how it was working with the families i ve worked for.

as a former nanny/housekeeper - it doesn't work!!
fine in theory - and I thought I could handle it but absolutely rubbish in practise - I'm a nanny and was kidding myself to think I could combine a full on 55 hour a week nanny role with cleaning the whole house over 6 hours in the week.

I have NO idea how a cleaner can clean a whole house in 4 hours (in my current job, the cleaner does!) but I didn't get into nannying to be a good cleaner, I think much better to get a dammed good career minded nanny and a once a week cleaner to attack the house once a week IMHO.

the biggest issue in my old job was what happened to the cleaning during holidays/sickness etc - obviously it couldn't get done but this used to be a real bone of contention with my ex employer, to the point where she told me to leave her child to watch tv/play on the landing whilst I did the regular cleaning

FWIW - I think you sound like you be a lovely employer and if you moved down to london I would totally work for you
I'm currently studying for an NVQ3 and would use the time to study during the day - so it might be worth looking down that route??

Hey Poppycake-should have explained the background to that remark, sorry! I didn't mean Leeds uni was a bad uni-it was my second choice after Cambridge.

I come from Leeds, and have lived there from being 4, and dd's dad and his family still live there, so life would have been much easier if I had gone to Leeds childcare wise. I also have a house up there (left to me by mum) which would have been £160 a month in mortgage as opposed to £650 in rent here, so I wouldn't be in as much debt. What I meant was as I moved us both away from everything we knew, including dd's amazing chlidminder and all her friends, and also made us less financially stable, then I feel like I need to push this as far as I can.

I would get a separate cleaner, as I feel like I am putting on the nanny enough, without expecting her to do two jobs. I am quite happy to bung the washing machine/dishwasher on when I get home, and do a daily swish and swipe when in the shower etc, and get the cleaner to do a heavy once over on a Friday.

Although I would expect my nanny to do the food shopping and as it would be her feeding dd, so wouldn't want her stuck trying to make chicken rissoles (dd's fave) with no chicken because someone else did the shopping for her. I would like her to stack the dishwasher or clean up spills too-is food shopping etc a normal request? Tbh if I am shelling out £30k for a nanny, another £40 a week for a cleaner won't finished me off!

Tiramisu-you are so right, WWW, I see exactly where you are coming from (and yes, dd loves her tv watching, but I would be v if she was in front of it all evening while my nanny cleaned-even I don't stick her infront of it in the evening-it is weekends only (when I am doing the cleaning ).

Frannie-that is just what I needed to hear-thank you xxxx

I love the fact that Mn is the fountain of all knowledge-all thoughts of boarding school have been blown from my mind-a nanny it is! Now, do I get Supernanny, the lady that did babies for Royalty and then looked after the babies of teenagers, or Mary Poppins? Personally I want a bilingual Mary Poppins!

I don't quite understand where the nanny/housekeeper demarcation line is?

I'm probably a N/H (although the official job description is nanny/governess )because I do all the stuff a nanny would do for childcare/nursery duties, I cook what I would cook for the child in triplicate so the family can eat together if one or both of the parents is home by 8 and they want to (or it freezes!), I do light daily cleaning, run errands, pick up dry cleaning, do bits of shopping, receive the internet shop and put it away, happily shove on family laundry, iron occasionally... But I wouldn't do heavy cleaning of the sort wwow describes. Does that make me just as an excessively flexible nanny? Or are some people crazy when they expect that much from housekeepers?

Oh and my charge sits in front of a dvd while I blitz his room and iron once a week in the holidays/when he's sick. His mother told me to. I agree. He's 7, it won't kill him.

You need a me!

I do Frannikin, I do!! If you ever train a nanny, or meet a nanny like you, grab me!!! ([email protected]).

I think dd may sulk if she is not allowed at least one dvd a week (we have a lovefilm subscription and she loves it!), although I am very that all she wanted for her birthday was a camp rock dvd (I had to go into the disney store and ask if it was a dvd or a disney channel thing, as we don't have sky-how out of touch am I!)-what happened to the maths times tables squares, map of the world and French phrase book dd? Such playdate peer pressure!!

And also what happened to sleeping beauty/Wall-E/tinkerbell (the xmas crazes). She is too young to be lusting over teenager rockers that I could quite respectfully date (well, maybe not if they were 18, but if they were 20!). However, I got in and will just pronounce v loudly all the way through that it is tres boring etc and isn't Tinkerbell much nicer, and hope she takes the hint!