Take nanny on holiday?

[ChampagneLassie]

My children are 2.5 & 4 months, nanny just started working with us last week for my 4 month old. 2.5 Ye old remaining in nursery. We’ve not discussed holidays and I’d assumed we wouldn’t bring her. But would it be a good thing? Worth the extra expenses? I’m looking at club med and childcare is £365 per child per week. So £730 total. Bringing nanny will cost much more than that…ballpark I reckon £3k (cost of bringing her plus that she’s working rather than on a weeks holiday. ) also she’s not going to have resources or local knowledge etc.
im wondering whether ita probably much more enjoyable for children to be in kids clubs.

@Bettergetthebunker not sure 4 month old would get much out of that!

@ChampagneLassie so many of your posts are about how you look after DC and how you need help managing both of them, explaining why you have a nanny. Then you say your partner has suggested nanny and daycare on holiday, is he envisaging the Victorian parenting style where the child is brought to him 5 minutes before they go to bed so they can say good night, but otherwise he doesn’t see them!

Right but if you take her for this week she'll still have to take 4 other weeks, so you'll need to have 4 weeks off at home presumably looking after DC. Personally I'd book the kids into resort childcare and be done with it

I can see you’ve had plenty of backlash because god forbid you and your husband would like a holiday too and some extra help. Anyway! I have been the nanny that’s gone on holiday and it was great. If you do decide to take them with you just have clear boundaries of when she is working, what her duties are etc. my hours were mainly early mornings so parents could get themselves sorted & then evenings so they could go for dinner. They actually GASP spent the rest of the day with their children. Enjoy!

@Goose22 but the dad is suggesting they use daycare during the hours nanny isn’t working

Have I got this right? You are using your savings to pay for a nanny/nursery because your DP can't cope with one of his children on his own for more than a few minutes? No wonder you are overwhelmed and in a quandary. Get the 50/50 parenting sorted otherwise you'll have a breakdown after you return to work.

Yeah that’s life with a toddler OP 😂

Maybe you could just have a holiday as a family?
why do you need to put them in day care on holiday?

working on a tan isn’t work.

What sort of adventurous things will your husband have time for when he’s in holiay with a 13mo and 3yo?

Could not agree more. Sounds like a couple who didn’t realize life is different with children.

also OP is a fool, not being married, on mat leave and using her savings to pay for a nanny. And DP can’t cope with both children for more than 10 mins. Recipe for disaster.

Let toddler kick off

you are the parents. She is 3. You are in charge

time to start setting boundaries and making dh become a dad

broken sleep is hard and seems many dads just don’t cope yet the mums manage 🙄

you need to sleep train your toddler

yes I read you have had 3 sleep trainers

obv not good ones !!

if you say your area I may be able to suggest some to you who are good and get results

holidays with the employer are not a perk @Bettergetthebunker- it’s a job. Working

@Goose22so you had time daily to enjoy /sight see /sunbathe

sounds a happy medium

but not what @ChampagneLassie and her dh are suggesting

You are using your savings so you can get a break while your high earning partner does basically zero parenting?

So a nanny before the paid holiday daycare and a nanny for afterwards so you really don’t have to spend a second of your day with your children. This is getting more funny!
I think DH needs to spend some time with his own children, how will he ever get to know them??
what’s the longest he’s spent with them both solo??

I think neither parent spends time with both kids on their own.

”My DP has only had both kids for maybe 10 mins whilst I’m in shower at home, I don’t think he’d feel comfortable taking them both to breakfast in a hotel on his own. I do sometimes have them both on my own but we try to minimise that as it’s really hard to meet both their needs and manage them.”

such a sad family set up.

DP really wasn’t coping with broken sleep, I can manage

poor bub.

on a serious note - you’re not married. Please don’t use your own savings to get a nanny because your partner won’t parent. When you split up you’ll be left with nothing and 100% childcare.

This is quite an underrated thing about nannies. People tend to assume people employ nannies to palm their kids off (and i guess some do) but a great thing is it enables you to manage different kids’ needs and balance feeding a newborn for example with actually spending some quality time with toddler.

my tuppence would be if you go to club med package place don’t bother bringing nanny. It’s a childcare-type setup so no one will bring nannies. But if you do a villa or something it could be great… she can maybe do some bedtimes so you can go out, watch the baby whilst they nap so you can have adventures with the toddler. No way would I have gone abroad with a 1 and 3 year old with no childcare at all, it would be such hard work i’d have rather stayed home where there are toys, clubs etc. We travelled with grandparents or my sister and her husband, just as i’m sure 90% of the judgy mcjudgersons on here would do because it’s not illegal to want the odd break where you are neither looking after toddlers or at work, god forbid 😱

People. It’s possible to love your children completely and also need a break. It’s possible to love your children completely and want to be able to spend one to one time with each in turn sometimes. It’s possible to love your children completely and also want to reconnect with one’s spouse on holiday without kids around. Extra pairs of hands mean all the above can be achieved in one holiday.

I couldn’t give a stuff about the OP having a nanny, I had one for several years.

Having full time child care for the toddler plus a nanny plus being on mat leave is unusual and seems largely to be down to the fact the children’s father is clearly less than useless and cannot manage his children for more than 10 minutes.

However OP is then funding the nanny from her savings whilst being unmarried - so should this relationship go tits up she’ll be in a very precarious financial position. I doubt at that point the DP will be any more use or financially supportive.

People. It’s possible to love your children completely and also need a break. It’s possible to love your children completely and want to be able to spend one to one time with each in turn sometimes. It’s possible to love your children completely and also want to reconnect with one’s spouse on holiday without kids around. Extra pairs of hands mean all the above can be achieved in one holiday.

But OP’s DP has no such plans to do anything with his children - he has the days all planned nanny, childcare, nanny. And it’s all ok because OP is paying for it.

With regards the sleeping thing.

I’m really over people who have kids who slept lecturing those who aren’t that lucky. Kids are not dogs who can be trained. Some kids sleep through (my eldest, oh i thought i was so clever), and some just don’t (my youngest).

Some kids are neurodiverse, some have hormonal differences, there are a million reasons why humans are different from one another and some people are just not great sleepers, many adults don’t sleep through or need less sleep than others.

Unless you are a doctor who has actually met the family and can be sure there is nothing underlying this toddler’s broken sleep, please avoid blaming the exhausted mother.

That’s not the OPs question though. Unless your answer to her question ‘should i bring a nanny’ is ‘get a new partner’?!.

99% of the comments here are judging her not him.

Op is shattered. Her partner is useless at night and seems daytime

op is bf so has to deal with the baby

therefore to make things fair /equal/easier for op the dad needs to step up and help with the sleep issues

the mum can /has to settle her. The dad can’t or won’t

if her eldest slept and didn’t play musical bed sure she would feel much less sleep deprived

op hasn’t mentioned any special needs with her daughter so I am going on the information she gave us

Hello OP

Which Club Med? (I know alot about it)

Kids club is great for kids - why not do a mix of some days kids club and others family beach/pool days . Baby will likely nap a lot too . Do what works for your family if you want to use kids club then do so and don’t let anyone make you feel bad ! It exists for a reason

I think having to get a nanny because your partner cannot (and does not want to) look after his children, or even one of the children on a one to one basis, is rather sad. I’m also sceptical that he’ll change as the children grow up.

This^
Why bother taking them. Save yourself the money and book a couples holiday.