Take nanny on holiday?

[ChampagneLassie]

My children are 2.5 & 4 months, nanny just started working with us last week for my 4 month old. 2.5 Ye old remaining in nursery. We’ve not discussed holidays and I’d assumed we wouldn’t bring her. But would it be a good thing? Worth the extra expenses? I’m looking at club med and childcare is £365 per child per week. So £730 total. Bringing nanny will cost much more than that…ballpark I reckon £3k (cost of bringing her plus that she’s working rather than on a weeks holiday. ) also she’s not going to have resources or local knowledge etc.
im wondering whether ita probably much more enjoyable for children to be in kids clubs.

My cousin has this arrangement, the nanny comes everywhere with her.
It seems the norm for her social set in the US

On the one hand she kept a lot more of a social life and her hobbies going. On the other hand it was a more Victorian type relationship with her children, where they were paraded out by parents for a little bit between meals but otherwise vanished with nanny while the parents carried on their holiday like they did in pre children days. Ultimately we all have to decide what kind of parent we want, and can manage, to be.

I wouldn't use a club med type childcare. Lots of my friends did it as a holiday job. They had very minimal experience and were only doing the work to fund partying nearly every night. I wouldn't want to leave my children in that kind of setting. A nanny you know seems an infinitely better option

Practically though, if the nanny comes with you on your holidays, then she will need to be free to take her holidays at another time - how will you cover those?

A nanny for the baby, Not the toddler.

And yes fur financial reasons, a lot of mothers have their toddler with them when they have another child. It might be usual. You can easily argue it’s not always best - mum is much more stretched out in every direction. No time for 1-1 for any of the chikdren. Routine disrupted for the toddler etc….

If your issue is the OP having a nanny, then maybe remember a lot of women have support from the grand parents during those early months.
The OP is bfing. She isn’t going to go on spa days whilst leaving baby at home. And even then, so what? Babies gave Bern left in childcare settings at that age like forever. Mines certainly were by the time they were 4~5 months old.

Or Is it suddenly bad just because it’s paid help??

That’s an issue.
Esp because I can’t see the OP being able to split that responsibility with her DP.

This thread makes me sad! Please spend time with your children on holiday, my god the time goes so fast when they're small 😢

Do you think putting your children into childcare on holiday is going to help your parenting skills? Maybe your DP can spend more than 10 minutes on his own with DC on holiday. Doesn’t exactly sound like great dad material

Ha, no my daughter gets up at 6am and often not asleep till 8-830p so we get a good 5-6hrs with her weekdays and all weekend obviously Oh and she wakes overnights and comes in to sleep with me and cuddles and talks So overnight too! If she wasn’t at nursery I think I’d go insane. I had a friend said similar to you but her child sleeps 12 hrs overnight in their own bed and will happily put themselves to bed too. Very different

This is a good point. I guess I’m thinking a week max (with nanny) and my DP and I will split the rest of her leave. And I’ve got some additional leave I’ve accrued from maternity leave.

I never said I’d spend no time with them. My toddler is VERY active, does about 9.5 broken hours overnight but springs out of bed like Duracell bunny at 6 or 5am today as it happens) that is a lot of day to fill. Having some help allows us to recharge and be able to spend quality time with her.

How many night wakings does your DP deal with?

I’d say that’s how much he does outside of our day jobs…if my day job is the baby. The nanny is only just starting part time so that’s a brand new thing and that’s why I’ve got nanny before returning to work. If the split was more 50/50 maybe it wouldn’t be needed. DP has stepped up massively since baby arrived and he does much more with toddler and they are very bonded now.Ive had grumbles but I accept where we’re at now and he’s happy to financially support this.

Plenty do. Same as nurseries

Neilson, Mark Warner, club med, many ski holiday providers etc etc all provide childcare options. For good reason. Demand is great. Many adults need a mental & physical break. Please don't be judged OP. If I could afford it I'd have done the same.

@MyNewLife2025 but OP isn’t working, she’s on mat leave and my point wasn’t a criticism of working parents. I’m one of them. It’s saying that these times of day are often filled with functionality. A family holiday and the weekend are when you get to play together, talk, do activities together. Using full time childcare on holiday doesn’t sound much of a holiday for the children or family bonding time

You said it much better than I did. Being able to take all day to wonder and wander around, look where/when they want you to, play and read when they want you to is priceless to little ones and so rare to have both parents available for that.

He dealt with toddler for 10 weeks after baby was born. But she kicked off massively even 10 weeks in so then I took both and that’s what happens now and if I’m struggling to manage both he helps. Toddler only wants me at night. Baby needs me obviously. DP really wasn’t coping with broken sleep, I can manage. Yes I’d love to get my toddler sleeping better. I’ve tried three different sleep consultants at considerable expense. She is getting better. If she’s with me she’s better than without me. Given new baby I don’t want her to feel pushed out.

If you take her on this holiday then she's working and she'll need another holiday!
Just to be clear you have to give her 21 days holidays so she will need time off and her having her holidays when you have yours is a lot easier than her having a week off when you're not

We had this written into our nanny contract, it’s a perk for many nanny’s to be honest as they get to experience news places and they become part of your family.

this thread seems to have got derailed. My original Q was wondering on benefits of taking nanny on holiday. I’m updating to make those aghast at childcare even more horrified but my DP suggested we do both - take nanny and use childcare. Nanny can help us in morning and evening and then babysit whilst kids asleep and we go for dinner and they can be in kids club for part of day and with us rest of day. It is my intention when kids are older (say 3&5 onwards) we’d do holidays where we explore and do things without childcare eg Disney or camping. But whilst it’s very much focused on naps and routines I think the childcare help works really well

Haha I hadn’t read this thread fully. I also use holiday clubs and shock horror hire a babysitter too when I’m on holiday. Many upmarket holiday destinations and resorts have wonderful clubs for children. It’s a balance, everyone’s happy, the children get chilled parents and really fun activity time with other children.

Last holiday the kids got dressed up with face paint and costumes, then they went on a real boat and shot water pistols at staff dressed up as pirates on smaller boats. I can’t offer that but the kids club can and I’d have loved that as a child!

I was on the train to London once

An older lady and man, clearly friends met on the train and sat opposite me.

They were discussing their upcoming holidays and the older lady was saying how they were taking their three adult children, partners and children on holiday and three nanny's, two evidently already family employees and one for an agency to cover the other ones days off particularly as one of the nanny's was a clock watcher and simply wouldn't work a second over her paid time.

That and the fact they then went on to discuss their race horses, one was competing at Newmarket soon, was a very distinct reminder that I live in a very different world to some people. How 8 family members couldn't wrangle what sounded like 5 young children is beyond me. I guess at least they are keeping at least 3 people in employment.

It also transpired they were sitting in Peasant class rather than First as "we all arrive at the same time".

Yes I’m aware of this, I think she’s got 4 weeks holiday. I imagine if we take her it would only be for a week. We’re only planning this one holiday this year, so chuck of rest of our AL will be covering hers. My DP still has a few weeks parental leave to use too.

This 🥴

I don’t believe it - in the words of Victor M

Whatever- maybe note the ages of the OPs children 😀

Well exactly. And JZ and Beyoncé apparently have 8 nannies for their 3 children. Everyone’s different. Getting a nanny on top of nursery is a stretch for us, I’m using my savings to pay for it. Because I want what’s best for the kids. My toddler adores nursery and I want nanny to be focused on baby and on hand so I can breastfeed. If she had toddler too the toddler wouldn’t be getting the activities and enrichment she gets at nursery. It’s only for a year and I figure this is the most important investment I could make to give us a nice life and ensure I can be a rounded person.