dotty if i have offended you i apologise.
but i would say i would object to a black/jewish/heterosexual au pair if they were in your face about it. as i said in my first post i dont like people being in your face about anything, and i assumed that au pair = teenager which can often mean in your face about whatever their identity is. and you often find teenagers assume an identity because they feel it is controversial and makes them different (just look at all the teenygoths in town!) and so can moan about how misunderstood they are. and in my youth i knew several people who pushed their 'alternative' sexuality in your face just to get a reaction
i hadnt assumed mishmash was guessing i thought the subject had been brought up (and i didnt know if mishmash was the au pair or employer) and it would just seem strange that someone would mention that in a job interview as it nothing to do with the job