Would you have an objection to a lesbian aupair?

[mishmash]

Just curious

Sorry Mish I get defensive as a matter of course whenever someone points out the fact that anyone is a lesbian etc, it just is something close to home, but really, why even question it - it feels to me like someone starting a thread about 'would you object to a black au pair' or something like that. Why would anyone really, iyswim!

Imflight - apologies I guess it was a bit thoughtless on my part to start such a thread. Will ask HQ to delete.

No no it's fine, really it is, no need, it's so not defensive-worthy in the scheme of things, really just ignore me I am being daft
I completely understand you didn't mean it to sound like that.

I start completely ridiculous threads all the time and am always offending people. Really
Sorry. No sleep last night!

au pair is not like any other job, as the person is living in your home.

but no of course I wouldnt have any objections, to the OP. total non-news.

I don't think the OP was stereotyping au pairs by sex nor implying sexual activity.

I don't have an au pair, but their sexuality wouldn't bother me. For some reason I've always thought I'd prefer a man though.

ScienceTeacher - would a chaste lesbian be OK?

interesting question imo

I have a gay nanny friend - she normally mentions it at 2nd interview, some famillies go back to agency and show/share their disgust, others are happy she was honest and offered her the job.

it shouldnt make a difference what sexuality the au pair/nanny is ,as long as loved and cared for the children

but you wouldnt want either gay or straight canoodling when looking after your children

would anyone object to a gay male one?

Some people probably have some kind of link in their minds that equates someone being gay with someone who is interested in their children in an inappropriate way. I can picture a couple refusing a gay man as nanny saying 'but we have boys'
I don't know where this 'connection' comes from, but I am pretty sure it happens.

I agree Flight - they also think that a gay may 'indoctrinate' the child into being gay. Like you can 'teach' it, or 'catch' it.

ScienceTeacher - how can you say you would prefer your au pair not to be sexually active? Surely that has no bearing on his/her ability to look after the children? Little unreasonable, imho.

I always have young au pairs - I don't think jumping into bed makes for a good role model for my children.

Flight and CM, do you think people really think that way (about gay men I mean) that is a terrible way to look at a person!

i am a lesbian mum and i find your thread title very offensive and sad.you are 'just curious'?
How would you feel about a black au pair- your question is that offensive.
It is also now illegal to discriminate or as you put it 'object' to people on the grounds of sexuality.

I would not give a rats arse whether they were gay or straight - as long as they weren't copulating with their partner of choice in front of or in earshot of the kids it would be none of my business.

yes please delete the thread title.

Of course I don't think that way about gays (or anyone) but I know people who do...even if they don't realise it. They are the same people who think women are second-class, blacks are third class, gays and lesbians only think of sex....we all know someone like that. (BTW my best-friends' brother is gay..another lovely friend is black...) and fwiw I think male aupairs are fab. I don;t have one myself but I know a single mother who 'imports' hers from the czech republic and they are usually great with her dc - a male figure I suppose.

Of course not.

By ScienceTeacher on Sat 05-Apr-08 14:12:32
I would really prefer that none of my aupairs are sexually active, tbh.

So the person looking after your children shouldn't be able to have sex?!

Surely then, by that rule, after your first child you stopped having sex completly and therefore will never/ did never have a 2nd child?!

I'm married, disenchanted

good god yes - lesbian au pairs - what is the world coming to....

What a ridiculous title. And don't start with the 'I didn't mean it to be offensive' or I'll start a challenge for the most unintentionally offensive offensive thread titles.

Swap 'lesbian' for black/jewish/disabled/muslim and you'd have had a riot on your hands...

It's not often I get pissed off, but the fact that people on the thread were sympathetic to your crap title also irks me.

Ah I see, you are holier than thou.

That Ok then

I agree with dottydot, its an awful title.

As for me and my house...

Well I thought it was offensive at first but actually the discussion here has been interesting - and eye opening for me. I really thought that that kind of thinking went out with the ark - even my (very conservative) father has realised that sexual choice does not have anything to do with anything other than the person you choose to go to bed with!

As long as they did their job well and were nice to live with, no problem with any au pair's sexuality. But likewise, I would not tolerate more or give them more leeway just because they were lesbian.

yes dottydot, i hate the assumption that you basically have an audience of straight women and it's totally ok to raise this kind of 'question'.it reminds me of the women snogging on the bus thread.sort of ruins my day when i see this kind of 'debate'
Especially when there is always a 'as long as they dont shove it down your throat' response from someone.
How liberal-