Would you have an objection to a lesbian aupair?

[mishmash]

Just curious

I think homophobia only comes into play when a specific job is actually refused or denied because of a person's sexuality. To choose NOT to apply to work for a gay family, or to choose NOT to offer a job to a gay nanny is not homophobic, it's a preference, surely? If a nanny would rather not work for a known gay family that's up to her, and if a family would rather not employ a gay nanny that's up to them. That doesn't mean it's politically correct. It's just a case of an individual's right to choose the most appropriate job/employer for their own needs/wants. Like I said before I don't believe sexuality should even come into the picture in the workplace, but in the Real World people will still have their own preferences and I don't think it's homophobic unless it is done in a malicious or deliberate way. For example to offer a nanny a job, then withdraw that offer if they then discover she or he is gay. THAT is massively wrong. To merely look for a job or an employer that fits in with your own personal beliefs, and find or discount potential applicants/opportunities before any job offer is on the table happens. Doesn't make it right though.

And I have to say too, that I think more nannies are denied jobs as they are overweight, not because of their sexuality. Is this fair/right? No. But it happens. Parents have a particular type of nanny they want to employ in mind, just as nannies have a particular type of family they would like to work for in mind. There are all types of nannies out there and families out there, and it's horses for courses.

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its a tricky one

it is a preference BUT it could also mean they are discrimating against a nanny (if she was gay) - which could cause legal issues if proven

but can work both ways that a religious nanny could be discrimanted ror her beliefs by not working for a gay couple iyswim

oops - thats what i meant - but dont think i explained it very well

mananny - very true - im sure this is why people on gumtree etc ask for a photo as well as a cv - and if a nanny was very overweight she might not get an interview

you can be fat but fit, but i guess as a parent i would wonder if a larger nanny could run after my child/play chase etc

does this make me a weightaphobe

But if the nanny is just reading Gumtree for example and sees an ad for a job with a gay family, and she chooses NOT to apply for that particular job, is that illegal? No. She or he has chosen not to reply to that ad.

Just as if a family see an ad for a nanny on NJ, and see that she is gay. So they don't bother to contact her.

Neither party has really lost out in this. I mean I feel if they had made contact with each other, interviewed and then discovered that either party was gay, then refused employment or denied the job on that sole basis then yes I do think that is illegal. And morally/politically wrong.

But when looking for jobs or nannies, parents and nannies will automatically discount those which don't suit them, with no contact being made, and in those cases I don't believe anything has been done to constitute discrimination that can be proved in court.

I'm probably not explaining myself very well, but does anyone get what I mean?

Simplyme, what if I choose not to work for a black couple? Is that racist?

i get what you mean mananny - us nannies do look at a job (as in an ad) and say no to it for many reasons, could be less salary or long hours or even a gay family

as i said at the beginning of this thread, my friend THINKS she didnt get a job beacuse she is gay,but couldnt prove it - but she has seen them, they liked her and it wasnt till she said she had a girlfriend and then didnt get the job

My sister's housekeeper/ nanny in Thailand is lesbian and is superlatively good. I do not see why sexuality even needs to enter into the equation as long as the person is good.

I think a nanny can choose not to apply for a job with a family for whatever reasons, just as a family will choose not to interview a type of nanny for whatever reasons. If no specific job is actually denied or refused on the basis of sexuality, gender, race etc then it's going to be hard to prove discrimination, surely?

That's what I've been saying duchesse. Sexuality should bear no weight in a person's suitability for a job. But even in today's politically (over)correct times, people still have their own feelings and opinions on the matter. And unless a specific job offer is withdrawn/refused on the basis of sexuality I don't see how discrimination can be proved.

Imananny that's really sad about your friend . That is the kind of instance that shows blatant discrimination, if she was interviewed and all looked good until the family was told she was gay.

If they had not interviewed her based on her sexuality, but not actually said that as the reason, I think that is the kind of thing that happens more often. Like when nannies are turned down interviews due to being overweight. All families need to say is "Oh she (or he) doesn't suit our needs"

And nannies say the same thing "Oh it's not quite what I'm looking for"

It's not right but it happens, and I don't see how people's own internal opinions and judgements will change.

rah rah rachel - it seems that people are choosing not to work for a gay couple because it is against their religion! I don't believe that is homophobic. I think if they were to make a big deal out of it and hate them in groups etc etc then that is most def homophobic!

with regards to the black issue if they chose not to work for someone black purely because of that then yes I would prob say it was racist. I don't know of a religion where whites are against black - certainly not christian. Plus I don't think you can compare as gay is a lifestyle choice but you cannot change your skin colour!

Simplyme - if your religion states that homosexuality is sinful then I'm afraid it is homophobic. Homophobia doesn't suddenly become ok as long as you claim god told you it is.

Homosexuality isn't a "lifestyle choice" either

so does that mean that all very religious christians who take their beliefs very seriously are homaphobic as they dont believe that two same sex's should live/love togehter?

So (and this is meant seriously not to offend or provoke) if there is a choice between respecting someone's religion or being politically correct, which one should be the most protected right?

This is a really interesting debate!

OK, I really shouldn't come back to this thread - as clearly I'm not mature enough but...

I was thinking about it while I was getting up this morning (do I have no life??) and why I got hot under the collar is because the OP's question wasn't 'would you object to your au pair having sex in your house?'. To debate that is all well and good - but this was about sexuality, not sex, and that's where prejudice starts to rear its ugly head.

Like the more than one occasion on this thread where being gay has been described as being a 'lifestyle choice'.

at lifestyle choice.

Because of my religion I don't believe it is 'right' the same as sex before marriage etc. However I do not go around 'bible bashing' as it is called! I also have many very very good friends who are gay and many good friends how practise casual sex. Since they are my good friends I never saw myself as homophobic in anyway! Not agreeing with someone does not mean that you should be categorized with those who do go out of their way to be hostile and hateful!

Lifestyle choice???

How utterly bizarre.

Do you really think it's a lifestyle choice though, Simplyme? Do you think if you'd only introduced your gay friends to the right people of the opposite sex, that they would have been straight instead?

[no appropriate emoticon available]

Dottydot, I don't blame you for a minute for remaining hot under the collar about this. I have been thinking about this thread a lot myself. Think you are positively restrained ...

DottyDot I don't think being gay is a lifestyle choice. That implies it is always a desirable way to live. I don't believe that is always the case, especially for the person in question. Sometimes a gay person wishes they weren't gay. But it's so deep rooted within them that they have no choice in the matter. Life isn't always easy as a gay because society can still be a harsh place in which to live.

I have an uncle who is experiencing this right now.

I can guarantee he would not say being gay is a lifestyle choice.

Stillstanding - thank you.