No grandparents for childcare!

[torbs]

Hi everyone :)

This is my first thread here.

My partner and I are hoping to start a family soon.

We are both from the South of England, but moved to the North a few years ago, where we bought our first home.

Unfortunately, both of our parents still live down south - making childcare prospects difficult!

What did those of you who didn't have parents/grandparents/family as an option for free childcare do?!

Thanks for your time and I look forward to your replies.

Yeah same, I don’t know many people who don’t have some form of family help. I know some, but the vast majority do; if OP is in the same situation then no wonder she assumed it was an option for most. My mum announced before I was even TTC that she was dropping a day at work to look after my hypothetical children 😅

Poor OP is probably hiding in a corner somewhere shielded behind a cushion and will never return.

Do what everyone else does. Pay for it. My parents have never once offered to have my DS, even though both are retired.

Poor OP 😄 This thread is a good example of how people’s expectations differ.

My MIL worked ft and my parents had no interest when my first baby was born. Second baby we lived abroad. It’s very common to use paid childcare, which is not to say it isn’t horrible expensive. Here’s to all the grandparents helping out with childcare.

Demand they move closer to you OP! How dare they not provide free childcare.

I think everyone has their challenges whatever they do. It's hard, and costly.

Grandparents can be amazing. But can also bring challenges.

We paid an extortionate amount for a private nursery (almost my full wage) which ultimately paid off as I kept my working history and have been promoted since. We also knew before starting a family that this would be the case so planned for it.

We all live very close to each other so a mix of grandparents and babysitter works for us

Pay for it

Wind 'em up and watch them go :)

You just pay for it? Nursery, nanny or childminder. Depending on your preference.

Pay for it and when it got too tough financially we moved to be nearer my dad who was willing to pick my daughter up from school three days a week. It has saved us a fortune believe it or not.

Where I come from it would be considered family using family!

Sacrificed my career . (But I was married and owned my own house)

Pay the money

It's tough

You pay for childcare and/or change work patterns. If both of you can do 3 days/week you only need to find one day childcare, etc.

My parents live very locally as do the in laws and never done childcare. I've never expected them to either.

nurseries, childminders...

I find it baffling how some people think they are entitled to free childcare from their parents. Great if they can and want to help, but they aren't obliged.

Pay for it.

We pay for childcare.

Worked weekends only until school age (night shift or backshift) and went part time when they were in school (DH always full time and often a side job as well). After school club and breakfast club as required.

Nursery /childminder /breakfast club/after school club. I'm always astonished that people expect grandparents to do full time child care when they have done that already and might want to do something for themselves.

It's irrelevant where your parents live - there can never be an expectation of childcare. If it is offered, that's lovely. But it isn't an entitlement. Your parents may have other priorities than raising another generation of children. They have already done their "share". There is no reason to expect them to want to do it again.

@torbs

lol

what do you think they do op?!

they pay for it

as will you if you decide to have a kid

Paid

If free childcare is what you are concerned about when thinking of starting a family I would suggest you are not ready to have children yet.

@BeyondMyWits

why did you do that?