No grandparents for childcare!

[torbs]

Hi everyone :)

This is my first thread here.

My partner and I are hoping to start a family soon.

We are both from the South of England, but moved to the North a few years ago, where we bought our first home.

Unfortunately, both of our parents still live down south - making childcare prospects difficult!

What did those of you who didn't have parents/grandparents/family as an option for free childcare do?!

Thanks for your time and I look forward to your replies.

Why would you assume your grandparents would have done it for free? No one should work for free. They deserve payment. Also, perhaps they have their own lives and have no desire to be your free nanny.

Plenty of people have no family help. Plenty more will stand up for themselves and tell their selfish children to pay for their own childcare like proper adults.

I took time out of my career and paid childcare costs like everyone else.

I only let grandparents/family babysit my kids, well besides Crèche & school.... same as op our respective parents/family live other side of country so kids stay with them for a whole month during summer (during the month they'll have sleep overs at their aunties houses etc.) Our families have a full itinerary of activities they want to fit in for the month, my kids adore it, it's the only time they see family... but outside of this month we have no sitter, I'd never thrust a stranger & wouldn't ask my friends as I'd feel like I was imposing so me and dp make the most of that child free month, do date nights etc. As we know it'll be a full year before we are childfree again... we don't normally use any annual leave during this time though as we save this for when kids are back with us as we like to have a family holiday abroad .... anyway I don't pay my family to take them as they look forward to having them, that said I give my kids money to spend on days out etc.

Why would you never trust a stranger? No one is suggesting you leave your children with randoms off the street but it's perfectly normal to have non family baby sitters ime

Don't statistics show that most children come to harm from family members?

According to previous MN posts I have read, there is a section of MN that believes any adults who want to spend time looking after children and are not related to them are paedophiles.

One poster once went as far as to suggest that an auntie who has toys in her house for her nephews and nieces, but no children of their own, must be a paedophile.

@IcedOatLatte no real particular reason, I've no history of past trauma etc. I just don't like the idea of it, plus dp has strong feelings on it. My oldest goes on sleepovers to friends houses so I'm not like a complete weirdo thinking all others will harm my kids. I think I just don't like the idea of having a stranger in my home while I'm out, or my kids feeling awkward at a strangers home ... either way it doesn't matter why I feel this way as me and dp are introverts by nature so we don't really feel like going out in evenings so the lack of sitters has made zero impact on us.

Just to mention my mum had a whole array of trusty babysitters for us when we were small, usually neighbours teenage kids (think 17-19 age group) they were all lovely and mum treated them like gold dust, always ordered a take out before they left, paid them well, walked them home, always brought them home food from chippy etc.

SHOCKED that the OP hasn't returned

Lovely!

Obvs this is a wind up

Pay for it like normal people