An au pair in a caravan?

[marionara]

We've just moved into a small two bed house with our one-ish year old, and found out I'm pregnant again!
If I do go ahead with having the new baby I'll need childcare at home, another adult to help me with them both while hubby at work.
Thing is, we don't have a spare room.
Would an au pair/nanny be happy living in a caravan on the driveway? (Very quiet cul-de-sac)
Is this appropriate?
I was thinking of asking a friend if she wanted to live in a caravan (or something else?) here rent free and help look after the little ones. Is this daydreaming?
Can you even live legally in a caravan on a driveway? If not a caravan, then what?
As you can tell, I'm panicking! Thanks!

Why will you need help at home with 2 children? Lots of people do it - disabilities aside.

Anyway, an au pair is meant to be part of your day to day lives and is generally relatively young. Sticking a late teen/early 20 something on a drive, in a caravan is a dreadful idea!

I don’t think any au pair agencies would go for this OP.

No. You can't ask people to live in a caravan on your driveway.
Well not paid staff anyway.

Live out nannies are fairly normal though.

As is looking after two dc by yourself, if there isn't a massive drip feed coming you should be fine.

No

I'll need childcare at home, another adult to help me with them both while hubby at work

Why will you need childcare if you're at home. Surely you'll just look after them both

There’s loads of laws when it comes to employees living in a caravan on your driveway. The answer is basically no, but there’s so many loopholes that you may be able to get around the laws. The laws are easily found on google. It really comes down to will your neighbours be happy with it, and is anyone likely to report you. As for are the employees likely to be happy with it, it obviously depends on the individuals. Going by the law that only transportable and not static caravans are allowed on your driveway, I’d also think that would be a no. I don’t think anyone would be happy living in a tiny caravan that’s designed for short camping stays.

Hi, I'm prone to migraine and low energy, I can't imagine how I'd cope with an almost two year old and a newborn at the same time. I'd love to think that I'd just get on with it, but I'm afraid I probably wouldn't cope at all

There are usually rules to stop people living in a caravan on the drive.

Just to understand a bit more - is there a reason you need a second adult at home full time to help you with the babies? Appreciate it is hard work but it's usually doable especially if DH pitches in to help.

The whole point of an au pair is that they are part of the family. S/he won't feel like that if they are outside in a caravan.

I mean, would you like it? You need to think again.

If I were looking at an au pair position I would so prefer a caravan! It's like a little bedsit with privacy, so much better than a room in a family home. You'll definitely find someone who'd prefer this. Just make sure you sort out heating, water, toilet 🤣 etc etc

I'm surprised at the majority of responses tbh! I grew up in vehicles (new age traveller) and it's fine!

You can't make a lone teen girl from another country live on your driveway in a caravan.

Live out nannies are perfectly normal childcare solution.

No to any su pair. Can you afford to pay for a mothers help?

Oh sorry just saw your update. Migraine is awful, and agree tough with little ones.

What about family - could you relocate closer and ask for help? Even move in with your family or inlaws for part of the week (you and kids in one room) then that enables DH to get good sleep for several days, then when you go home for second half of week he takes over the nights so you just need to limp through the daytimes?

The other thing is to tackle the problem. What steps have you taken regarding the chronic migraines? There are lots of different options if you keep pressing your GP - I know someone who ended up having hospital consultancies and did eventually find a drug regime that means they can control their migraine work FT using screens.

I mean would you be happy for your daughter or yourself to do it? Go to a foreign country and help look after two babies for ‘pocket money’ while living outside in the UK in a caravan?

Too many people see an aupair as a cheap and easy childcare provider to take advantage of. They aren’t. It’s a cultural exchange where they provide very light help with housework and childcare in exchange for pocket money and living space. They’re not someone to depend on for care of two small children and then stow away in the driveway when they’re not needed. If you can’t afford an aupair (as in to house them properly) then you can’t have one.

If the arrangement doesn't work out then how are you going to get them to leave with no tenancy agreement

The OP would have to look after both her children by herself at night. The au pair could hardly run between house and caravan at night.

I'm surprised by some of the replies. Truth is, it's up to the au pair. If they want the money, they might even like the privacy of a caravan. I grew up in a caravan, so don't understand people's snobbery.

It might be frowned upon, but ultimately the only way to know is to ask. If people are too snobbish then ask people who are less snobbish. I know many women who would bite your arm off for the chance, but I can't recommend them because of racist undertones in society.

OP I get killer migraines and have had awful periods of fatigue and joint pain. My children are also 18 months apart in age and my exh left me when I was 36 weeks pregnant so I became a single mum doing it all on my own. You can do it.

Things that helped:
•Getting proper medication sorted. For me this means a triptan drug as soon as I feel a migraine starting (honestly these things are absolute lifesavers, truly miracle drugs, I have them prescribed but they can also be bought once you've been prescribed them. Expensive to be bought in a standard high street pharmacy but good deals to be found on legitimate pharmacy websites)
•I also take a daily preventative medication which I had to see a consultant for. If you haven't already, talk to your GP about this, waiting lists can take a while with covid etc and obviously pregnancy may mean this isn't suitable at the moment but at least you could be on the list to discuss it
•Got the baby to sleep the same time the toddler was having his afternoon nap. This meant I could nap as well which made a real difference to the day.
•Sling for the baby
•Going with the flow regarding chores etc, especially in the first few weeks. Taking every scrap of help offered

It is absolutely possible to do this. I can remember feeling panicked as well and even more so when my husband left but you can find a way. Please don't put a teenager in a caravan. If you need some extra help surely it'd be far better to advertise for a local teen to come and help you after college in the afternoons or when they have free periods, or someone who's saving up for their gap year, something like that?

As an aside, have you been investigated for POTS? Migraine and low energy are symptoms. My daughter started on beta blockers and her daily migraines have almost disappeared.

It isn't about being snobbish.
An aupair is a well defined position, with quite clear legal definitions about how they need to be treated.
They need their own separate room while being treated as part of the family.
A caravan does not meet those requirements.

It is also unpleasantly exploitative to try and set this situation.
OP may be able to find live in childcare happy to live in a caravan but they will not be an aupair, she would therefore need to pay them the minimum wage.

It might be frowned upon, but ultimately the only way to know is to ask. If people are too snobbish then ask people who are less snobbish. I know many women who would bite your arm off for the chance, but I can't recommend them because of racist undertones in society.

Is this a veiled way to say ‘have you considered exploiting people from poorer countries? It’s much easier than exploiting the snobby people who want appropriate working conditions!’

No. Try a live-out nanny?