An au pair in a caravan?

[marionara]

We've just moved into a small two bed house with our one-ish year old, and found out I'm pregnant again!
If I do go ahead with having the new baby I'll need childcare at home, another adult to help me with them both while hubby at work.
Thing is, we don't have a spare room.
Would an au pair/nanny be happy living in a caravan on the driveway? (Very quiet cul-de-sac)
Is this appropriate?
I was thinking of asking a friend if she wanted to live in a caravan (or something else?) here rent free and help look after the little ones. Is this daydreaming?
Can you even live legally in a caravan on a driveway? If not a caravan, then what?
As you can tell, I'm panicking! Thanks!

@jamoncrumpets do you mean CF = cystic fibrosis? Or CF = chronic fatigue? Quite a big difference!

you would have to pay way above the usual price id want aeast 20 hours or less a week and at least £180 a week as id be offered £120 a week living in a house in a comfy room

I also have chronic migraines as a result of that lovely list I posted in PP. I take a lot of meds, have regular blood tests, ac

I'm sorry you feel attacked Op. I think you've had some sensible replies with excellent advice on possible options.

It's worth considering how you could lessen the work load of two children by paying a cleaner or home help instead. Outsource the other jobs!

I worked for a local lady recovering from a c section as a cleaner /mother's help years ago when my dc were at primary school. I did 4 hours a day, mainly housework, laundry, tidying up and being an extra pair of hands in the first few months.

It was also company and having the support of another adult in the house. In fact we're still firm friends today.

There's also the fact that every mum contemplating a second baby has a crisis of confidence and worries they won't cope.
Do you have the support of family and friends? I think it's a huge ask to expect a friend to live and work full time for you whilst living on your drive! However a support network of friends or family can be invaluable in the first few weeks.

Have you checked out the price of large luxurious caravans? I think you will find an extension or loft conversion cheaper. Or a garden room?

And how would your neighbours react to one permanently parked up your drive?

So you are going to buy a really plush caravan? £20,000?

How can doing something with massive upfront costs, that your council could stop at a moments notice and will piss off your neighbours be better than paying for care in the normal way? This has got to be a wind up.

I should have said £20,000 plus. Caravans are really quite expensive if you want a nice one with no damp issues.

@marionara As someone who struggled when my son was born, I’d encourage you to talk to your GP and midwife about your concerns with your health and how you will cope. Partly because of your medication etc but also they may be able to signpost appropriate support for once the baby is born. I had extra visits from the Health Visitor (I know some would not like this) which helped reassure me and they signposted some great places that helped me (including a much missed childrens centre).

Do think about the non childcare stuff that could be offloaded like cleaning, how cooking could be done differently (we did more batch cooking in the preschool years) and online shopping etc that reduces the overall load you’re dealing with.

The au pair/caravan idea isn’t the best option, but other help would be. I guess it’s about what exactly do you need, and then how much that costs and how easy it is to find that help. Your looking for childcare, it might be you get help for other things so that you are able to do the childcare yourself for more of the time.

In your position I would claim disability benefits and use that money towards buying in domestic help such as cleaner, gardener, ad hoc childcare.

If you are going to pay well for childcare OP you don't need an au pair.
You can get a live out night nanny who can support you for the first few weeks overnight if you would like.
You can then get a live out day nanny who will be able to support you properly during the day.
You can also pay for cleaners, gardeners and get meal prep services like gusto.
If you already have this caravan you could ask a friend to stay there short term to help you out but you might make as many problems as you solve.

@jamoncrumpets ???

Can you get any benefits due to your migraines, that you could use towards childcare?

People aren’t ‘monsters’ for telling you a young girl living in a caravan in your drive isn’t an appropriate form of childcare.

Although if by ‘pay well’ you mean ‘over minimum wage with appropriate working conditions’ I don’t see the big drama as you’ll have no bother recruiting a live out daily nanny.

You wouldn’t be calling on an Au Pair overnight, so put both children in the same room as you and give the AP the other bedroom.

You don’t go in for au pairing for the money. And as many have pointed out, it’s not like full time childcare. My Dd is currently doing it, she gets “pocket money” food and accommodation. She works set hours, school runs, after school homework, eats with family, might help with meals, puts boys clothes away from laundry. If you need a nanny or mother’s help employ one, au pairs aren’t budget child care. Plus, getting a European au pair is much more difficult than it was.(if that’s what you want) It would have to be a super luxe caravan.

I have sympathy for you, OP and felt the same. I have a similar age gap and DC1 went to nursery full time. I wouldn't have coped very well with both full time for similar reasons.

I also explored every option for help and childcare and also got vilified when I was trying to get more information about one of my ideas.

I get it!

Best of luck xx

Why don't you look for a mothers help? That is usually someone who's kids are grown up and can help you around the home and support you in looking after the kids. That would suit very well.

I don't think you need a live in help.

Thankyou for this 😢❤️

When you say you don't have a spare room, do you have a dining room you could use instead? We did that when we had an au pair. Folded up the dining table under the new bed and used that room as a bedroom instead.

Check with council that you are allowed to use a caravan on a drive. I can't imagine it as a long term arrangement even assuming the council permit it.

1. No an au pair or a friend would probably not wish to live in a caravan and help look after your kids! Why would anyone do this??

1. What about normal childcare such as a nursery place day nanny of childminder?

I don't understand why you can't employ a person in a normal way. Why can't you employ a live out nanny or pay a childminder yo have your children for a set numbers of hours per week?? V odd idea.

My daughter moved out at 18 to a job with horses and lived in a caravan on the yard. She absolutely loved it , her own privacy but being close to a family. All the judgey people saying you can do it alone , it’s your choice. I have no idea about the legalities but I wanted to put my 5 pence worth in x

You do know that very many millions of people in the world and since the dawn of time have managed to look after small children AND deal with significantly greater issues than migraines, right?

And I'm saying this as someone who gets migraines and has three kids and have been a single mum and has a number of medical issues and a bunch of other crap.

Are you generally rather an anxious person, OP? Is it worth talking to the GO/Heath Visitor about your worries before DC2 appears?

Popping a foreign teenager on your driveway ain't going to solve anything.