An au pair in a caravan?

[marionara]

We've just moved into a small two bed house with our one-ish year old, and found out I'm pregnant again!
If I do go ahead with having the new baby I'll need childcare at home, another adult to help me with them both while hubby at work.
Thing is, we don't have a spare room.
Would an au pair/nanny be happy living in a caravan on the driveway? (Very quiet cul-de-sac)
Is this appropriate?
I was thinking of asking a friend if she wanted to live in a caravan (or something else?) here rent free and help look after the little ones. Is this daydreaming?
Can you even live legally in a caravan on a driveway? If not a caravan, then what?
As you can tell, I'm panicking! Thanks!

Why will you need help at home with 2 children? Lots of people do it

Absolutely. Mine were 18 months apart to the day and never had help nor did it ever cross my mind to need it??

They were my kids, I wasn't working so I just did it. Or I wouldn't have had them... This line of thinking is puzzling....

But no I think it would be unacceptable to have your help, since two kids are too much, living in a caravan. Perhaps it would be better to reassess if having the second is the right choice since you will be overwhelmed and unable to cope.

Also just to add migraines aside maybe that needs to be dealt with medically before having more kids if they'll be too much and "low energy" who doesn't with small kids that just sounds like an excuse. Won't go into my health issues as it's irrelevant but we all just work it out and do what we can without excuses...

No- that’s completely inappropriate.

People saying they grew up in caravans- presumably you were travelling with your family, not living on your own on someone’s drive. It’s completely inappropriate.

OP, I’d suggest a live-out mother’s help. Uni students or an older person might be suitable.

Probably should have thought of that before now
But no, you can’t do this for quite a few reasons

Because she just wants help? Should there be another "valid" reason?

I'm surprised at how many people are asking this tbh.

You think if i could afford it i wouldn't get help even though I have just one DC?

Hi there,

Rizatriptan really helped me with migraines. I've been taking GP prescribed iron supplements and feel like I have normal energy levels for the first time in about 8 months! My migraines have also halved in frequency.

Look into this and good luck.

OP I don't think sticking your au pair in a caravan is nice. You'll need to think of something else. good luck x

At 19 I imagine I would definitely have been up for this, as long as electricity water heating was sorted. However times have changed and somehow I can’t imagine this would go down well today, let alone legal issues.

Most mums of young children suffer headaches and "low energy" don't they? It's part of the job description.

This is a wind up isn't it? You must be aware how exploitative this comes across.

A 2 year-old could be placed in a nursery during the week if you couldn't cope during the first few weeks with a new born.
Your husband will also be on paternity leave. He could step up rather than hiring cheap labour.

Doesn’t sound like a great idea,plus your neighbours may not appreciate it.

I can imagine issues like the wifi not reaching the caravan. Au Pair having to come into the house to need the loo which would be grim in the night.
freezing cold in the winter?

your best bet would be to employ a live out nanny. Presumably if you can’t afford to move to a bigger house then you may not be able to afford a nanny.

your other option is a local student/older teen who could do a few hours a day? You can have a look on Childcare.co.uk

Lots of people will be looking for adhoc work. It will cost a lot more than an Au Pair though.

Is it childcare or more the running of the house you need help with?
Are au pairs not restricted to the number of hours they work as they're meant to be at a language course or something too?

Can you not just put the older one in nursery?

I had severe chronic fatigue and regular migraines. I was a single parent to a four year old and six year old at the time. I managed and I'm sure you can too.

Your eldest could go to nursery. I had to send my dd as I was too ill to care for her.

Well that’s the problem see. She can’t afford it. She wants to try to do it on the cheap, hiring an aupair to provide childcare cheaply when she can’t even provide proper housing for the aupair.

Caravans...baking hot in summer, freezing and damp in winter. If she has the heater on overnight then carbon monoxide is an issue. Will your neighbours be happy with a heater/ electric fan whirring all night.
Are you going to empty the toilet or are you expecting her to do that. Are you going to ban her from pooing in the caravan. Or will you expect her to walk from caravan to house in the middle of the night.

The OP would have to look after both her children by herself at night. The au pair could hardly run between house and caravan at night.

Presumably Op's husband will do that?

Can Au Pairs be hired just for childcare though?

You can’t leave a young woman in a foreign country living outside the front of your house in a caravan. Think how vulnerable she would be. Not to mention being either too cold or too hot most of the time.

I can see your POV...

Certainly not overnight care of a toddler and small baby. Aupairs should be like a ‘big sister’ of the family. Light help basically. Things like picking up a child from school and giving them tea/helping with their homework, taking the child out to the park, or helping the child learn a different language. Absolutely not overnight care of small babies. Or really any sole care of babies.

Blimey.

Op I think that you need to find out more about au pairs, their role etc. Or just get a live out nanny.

If you want help during the night then a caravan won't be any good (apart from all the other reasons above). You can't have a baby monitor in there and expect them to trundle up the drive in nightclothes in mid winter. If the nights are out then concentrate more on what help would be best for you during the day - I'd have thought late afternoon until bedtimes would be a given. Put an ad up in local college that does child-care courses and see if a couple of students are interested?

Have you thought about the practical problems, would the caravan be plumbed in if not where would the loo be emptied what about the electricity do you have an outdoor plug.

If you are genuinely incapacitated by a medical condition and need support (you can't afford) to look after your children then contact adult social services. Help can be provided in the form of childcare vouchers, assistance getting children up, dressed or taken to nursery, bathtimes etc.

You'll need evidence from a doctor or hcp that your condition is affecting your ability to parent and carry out day to day living tasks and you'll be assessed to determine if you qualify.

You also have the choice to terminate this pregnancy if you feel it's going to negatively impact your family and leave you unable to cope physically or mentally.
Your gp can refer you to an abortion clinic who will provide a counselling session before you make a decision that's right for you.