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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Au pair took drugs. WWYD?

236 replies

WhatTheDickensian · 02/07/2016 22:17

We have a lovely Australian au pair who is 19. She's been with us since Christmas and Is a lovely girl.

Last night I got a call in the middle of the night because she was in hospital. It turns it she took ecstacy while drinking and she had a fit. Shes still in hospital but is going to be fine.

What should I do? Would others keep her employed to care for their kids? She is a good au pair and the kids are close to her. She and I get on very well. But on the other hand she took drugs last night when she was due to come back to our home and to look after the kids at 3pm today.

She has apologised profusely.

WWYD?

OP posts:
timelytess · 02/07/2016 23:25

I dont think you can be sacked from a State school for what you do in your own time away from the school
I hope you're not a teacher! No disrespect meant there, just that the code of conduct is very clear that what you do out of school is just as likely to get you into trouble as what you do in school.
"3. Professional Conduct
Teachers should:
3.1. uphold the reputation and standing of the profession"
They can get you with that one any and every time.
Assuming of course the code still applies. I've been out of teaching for a couple of years.

LouBlue1507 · 02/07/2016 23:27

Gosh.. Yeah.. They are only people, that's fine then.. It's so so hard to say no thank you, I'm working tomorrow.. Poor people...

Teacher can't be sacked for what they do in their own time? Really? Why bother with DBS's then? 'Teacher found guilty of rape' .. Ah that's ok, he did it on Saturday! Fuck off!

SoupDragon · 02/07/2016 23:29

This is an au pair, not a bloody teacher. Any talk about what happens if you are a teacher is completely irrelevant.

Mintychoc1 · 02/07/2016 23:30

I think it would depend on her attitude now. If she's massively remorseful, and you make it clear that you're close to sacking her, and she realises she has to be whiter than white from now on, then I'd let her stay.

Dutchcourage · 02/07/2016 23:30

For goodness sake op she is an employee not your soul mate! Hmm

Original poster
WhatTheDickensian · 02/07/2016 23:31

I really hate that eyebrow raised emoji.

OP posts:
Teddy1970 · 02/07/2016 23:31

Even if this blew over and you gave her another chance, could you REALLY trust her again? I don't think I could, drugs are a complete no no for me, especially where the care of children are involved.

LouBlue1507 · 02/07/2016 23:32

An au pair who is responsible and has sole charge of children! That's even worse IMO!
Uch!

Dutchcourage · 02/07/2016 23:32

You other post was a bit dramatic though...... op

WatchMeSoar · 02/07/2016 23:32

I don't get all this, I would sack her without a second thought. No second chance where my kids are concerned.

wallywobbles · 02/07/2016 23:33

Keep her. Good au pairs are life changing and very rare.

ilovesooty · 02/07/2016 23:33

I can't believe anyone seriously thinks it's appropriate to tell her you'll be doing drug tests on her hair.

SoupDragon · 02/07/2016 23:34

drugs are a complete no no for me

The OP doesn't have that moral pedestal to look down from though.

hollieberrie · 02/07/2016 23:36

Er... i don't think doing recreational drugs is exactly the same as rape is it..

Love all those vehemently anti-drugs posters. Try some, you might loosen up a little. Grin

Go with your gut OP. If you have been there yourself when younger then i would say give her chance. We've all been 19 and done silly things.

BeautifulMaudOHara · 02/07/2016 23:39

I'd keep her because she's lovely with your children, it was the first time she'd taken it (and probably the last) and I really don't think it means she isn't capable of looking after your children. She made a mistake but she was on her own time. And poor her, I bet she was terrified,meshes only 19 (same age as one of my children).

Honestly, there's always so much bosom hoiking on mn about drugs, it's really irritating. Don't listen to the hysteria on this thread.

Dutchcourage · 02/07/2016 23:39

She could call her bluff ilove and I fail to see what the issue would be?

soup Id put the safety of my kids over any chance of hypocracy. What a bizzare stance!

LouBlue1507 · 02/07/2016 23:39

hollieberrie No not the same, but you've dodged my point... Do you really think a teacher can't be sacked for something they do in their own time? Really?

Yeah thought not.

Dutchcourage · 02/07/2016 23:43

Love all those vehemently anti-drugs posters. Try some, you might loosen up a little Grin

I took a lot of drugs in my teens. It put me in very unsafe bad situations. It caused the start of my anxiety and it put a couple of my friends on a MH ward. So yeah I'm pretty anti drugs now.

MrsUnderwood · 02/07/2016 23:43

I think you should give her a second chance, but make her aware how angry and disappointed with her you are.

ilovesooty · 02/07/2016 23:43

I think suggesting someone invades someone else's body space is an issue whether it's a bluff or not.

elephantoverthehill · 02/07/2016 23:44

If the au pair had not ended up in A&E would you have known and would you be worrying? Or would you just think that you were glad she went out and met some people of her own age?

Teddy1970 · 02/07/2016 23:45

The OP doesn't have that moral pedestal to look down from though
No, but she wasn't an Au pair at the time.

MilesHuntsWig · 02/07/2016 23:52

Tbh I'm torn on this one. If it really was a stupid mistake I'd maybe give her another chance but agree some ground rules with her mutually for a period of time to see if you can trust her again, so no getting plastered on a night before having the kids, maybe even insisting she form new friendship groups (I haven't thought this through btw these are to start the ball rolling)....

BettyBitesBums · 02/07/2016 23:54

OP at the end of the day you're the only one here that knows her, knows your family dynamic with and without her and can properly assess the pros and cons. It's a really difficult situation and easy to jump to conclusions of what you'd do when you're not there. Have a chat with her when she's home to get a better idea of what you think and take a couple of days to have a think.

YolandiFuckinVisser · 02/07/2016 23:55

I would give her another chance, but if she's due to work on Tuesday give that one a miss.

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