Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

[susiemumof]

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

thebody, you have confused me

if you are having lovely days like that why are you chucking it in?

Yes, thebody.

I am mad for saying controversially that it is not a very good idea to go into childminding so that you can spend more time with your own child and get paid for it!

FayeGovan, me too! Thebody said above that she is giving it up as she feels her children come last in her present arrangement. However, my suggestion that perhaps it's not a fantastic idea to mix parenting and professional childminding is... erm... quite mad .

I know have lovely days but have to put my Dcs first now.

I have posted on this, my dd was injured in the alvechurch school coach crash in feb and has ongoing health issues so needs me at home.

That's my whole point really it's not fair to either mindees or Dcs not to be first so am closing as always strived to give mindees 100% and can't do that now.

My you youngest dd is 10 and dd involved in the crash is 13. It was never a problem to me to put mindees first in working day as older ones at school but still a balancing act.

I do know cms with small children who do a fantastic job though.

Correct me if I am wrong interviewMAD, but have you not answered that question yourself? You state Thebody is giving up childminding to put her own children first. Clearly that is professionalism if this
full-timeWORKING MUMMY wants time solely for her children? Erh? Not too difficult to grasp?

Thebody, it appears our messages were posted together. I am sorry to hear about your daughter

Mad, are you saying that mixing parenting with any job is ern quite mad or just childminding??

See susies op was to my mind judgy and the whole thread now has turned on whether cms offer good quality child care? If they put their own children first etc??

Truth is that in all professions some are brilliant, some ok and some crap.

There are excellent cms and nurserys and crap ones as well.

Parents need lots of choices to suit them.

Finally I never judge parents( why would I) if they had a day off and left mindee with me I would say bloody enjoy your rest.

Big paws thanks that's EXACTLY what I was trying to get across, badly of course.

Dd is going in the right direction thanks with physio and counselling, Long road but counting our blessings.

MAD, that is not what you said at all.
Your highly judgemental post said that childminders who worked with their own children present were unprofessional. You even went so far as to recommend that parents should use childminders without children or with grown up children, hinting that the huge numbers with their own kids present couldn't be impartial or unbiased.

Since then, you've widened your judgemental stance to include those of us who understand that young children need to bond with their carers (the key worker system in nurseries was designed to copy the childminder bonding with one carer, by the way, and is encouraged under the EYFS), and that small children are liable to confuse labels and names at this stage of their development - all perfectly normal.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you don't actually care at all, but that you like to wind people up. I suspect this is why you switched so readily from your attack on childminders with children to those evil ones who allow minded children to call the family grandparents "grandad" and "granny" at their own request and with the full knowledge and approval of their parents.

While you have a right to your opinion, you don't have a right to judge others in this way or to insist that your way is the right way.
And I'm sure you'll understand that I prefer the opinion of those professionals in contact with us and who have seen our work many times, and the parents and children we look after rather than that of someone who appears to have no professional knowledge or understanding of childminders and how we work.

As I said, I find it highly amusing that a thread that kicked off so spectacularly, accusing the OP of judginess, should have switched to such judgemental comments against childminders.
I hope Susie has stuck around in the background and is having a good giggle at the sheer idiocy of it all

well to get back to the OP, I work 60 hours per week and am off from today til Saturday and I have taken DSD out of CM to spend the time with her after school, and am still paying the CM as usual

I personally want to spend as much time with my child as possible so today at PTA we will be making cakes and cooking dinner together

Hear hear tanith. Well put.

Have you noticed, theBody, that I'm being judged for (among other things!) childminding with my children and you're being judged for *stopping?! You couldn't make it up

Smurfy, that's lovely of you
Hope you have a great week - looks like you've chosen the right one weather wise!

I know and all gone quiet.

The attacks are upsetting arnt they when you think how bloody hard most cms work to offer a wonderful setting for the children.

That your own extended families relationship with
Mindees is held up as unprofessional and indeed nasty.

I do wonder what the motives for this horrible attitude are, so very sad.

Tanith I am unprofessional for stopping as I can't put mindees needs first and you are unprofessional for having your own children at home and daring to be a working woman.

I actually think that's it really how dare a woman work.

And I'm being judged for judging a parent when I never even judged at all

Well anyway parent has decided that as it's due to be a scorcher on her day off she will now be keeping her dd at home so they can do something.

I can only think she must be arranging her smear, hair appointment, bank visit, visiting other childminders, painting toe nails, catching up on sleep and having random sex with random people for another day

Suppose it must have been my crap judge attitude that she picked on, which makes me wonder why she keeps recommending me to people

Is that it faye,?mad. ?Do you support working mothers or just those who don't have young children.

Susie all the cms I know ( including me) had waiting lists so we must be doing something right.

i think some replies are a bit harsh/rude --she want being critical just asking -well i think if i had dd in childcare 60 hours and had 6mo, and had, nt to pay cm i would have them with me. susie well done you certainly are putting in the hours glad your enjoying your job.

Bloody hell susie, you don't know when to stop, do you? She doesn't know what a hoiky bossom, judgey pants you are though does she?

OP- frankly none of your business what the parents decide to do while their child is with you. Mum might need to get fit again, she might need a day shopping undisturbed for things that her baby would not enjoy, she might have a lover. It's none of your business. Try to avoid transposing your opinions onto other people or you're in for a rough time inlife. You should instead feel flattered that the mum trusts you enough to look after her child even though you are judging her for doing so.

Faye, mad? Any comments??

Am I unprofessional for closing my setting to put my injured and traumatised child first as I can't in all honesty carry on now taking payment for not putting mindees first( which I absolutely have done for last 4 years)

Or is tanith unprofessional for bringing mindees into her home and treating them exactly like her own children.

Sorry to make this personal but I was called unprofessional and I find that totally unforgivable by people who have no knowledge of me and certainly no knowledge of child minding.

Wishing your dc well again the body this thread seems so petty when you have had a real problem to worry about.

Susie how funny after all that the mum chose to spend the day with her baby after all.

Thanks redglow she's getting there and yes have to agree how funny mum is now with bubba.

Oh you are all quite silly!

Read my post again. I said that I didn't think it was a great idea to do any professional job in the presence of your children and that as childminding has changed to a more professionalised role it seems a bad deal for everyone concerned to choose to do it to structure your job around your child.

I also said it's not a great job to do unless you have a very high-minded true vocation for it, that it is not a good job to choose to do these days for the sake of fitting work round your family.

It is not really shocking to suggest that having your child with you while you work might just be distracting or might potentially reduce a person's availability to work professionally. Childminding was not always so but it is now and the costs and charges have risen in line with this, so I don't recommend it, no.

There are jobs people can do with their kids pottering around in the background - ironing, sticking stuff into envelopes, sitting at a till etc. However, these days cming involves a lot of observation and paperwork and there is a curriculum so it seems a bit different to that.

I train childminders by the way so I do have a LITTLE bit of knowledge . I think there's a lot of pressure and certainly it seems nowadays to be a very different job with the EYFS etc. It is a professional role and there are really no professional roles where it would be appropriate to take your child to work with you.