Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

[susiemumof]

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

But then I'm constantly surprised by some of the minority views on mn that are pushed as majority views.

indeed, I agree

well I think a good one to one relationship with my CM family is invaluable. DS2 often calls me MandyMummy aswell as AbiMummy. He gets a bit confused, but I like the fact that he thinks of our CM as another mummy. In fact the other mindee calls me mummy, as I am DS2's mummy and that's what he calls me. It's just about having a good and relaxed relationship with your CM's family.

which goes back to the origin discussion that I would hate it if she judged me, precisely because we have a good personal and professional relationship

I'd be very uncomfortable with my ds calling another woman mummy, it's very confusing to someone do young and it's not true... I dont see how you can justify it to be honest.

Then you wouldn't use our service. You'd choose somewhere else. Quite simple, really.

What you also ought to understand is that, in some cultures, addressing an adult by their first name is regarded as rudeness. The children use Aunty or Uncle.

That's a parental choice, too, and not at all inappropriate.

Thank for your insight. I'm am from one of those cultures and I have no problem with auntie and uncle. Mummy, daddy, granny and grandad is completey different.

mindee calls you mummy,and this goes unchallenged?
that's appalling
lacking in boundaries

And young children do mix up names and nouns. It's part of their learning. My DD called me by my first name because she heard the other children do it. Then she called every woman over the age of about 14 Mummy. Now she's getting on for 3, she seems to have sorted it out

why not Eclectic? I don't have an issue with it. To all intents and purposes my CM is his mummy when I'm not there. I have no insecurities about this and am happy that for my working day he has another little family to belong to. After all I am his actual mummy and he knows that

Mums, dads, grannies and grandads are primary relationships. A child can have endless aunties and uncles, I have 15 real ones, 30 by marriage and around 50 through close association and family friends. Not the same at all.

I drop DS2 at CM's. The other minded says to me Mummy, where is DS2? She is 18months. She thinks my name is mummy because DS2 calls me mummy

mindee

Look, it's personal choice, but personally I find it very disturbing and confusing for the child. I would certainly not allow it in my child's life.

I think that mebeez there is some insecurity showing on this thread

in primary1 and nursery sometimes kids say mummy
staff always correct this,and the habit drops off gradually
a competent cm should be gently correcting any mistaken mummy,not going along with it

It's completely different for you.

I just find it so funny that all those posters ranting and raving about the OP being judgemental are being even more judgemental about other parents' choices.

If you don't like us, you don't use us. Why do you think it's ok to criticise other people's boundaries, choices, preferences?

Insecure, that's fine, it that's really your perception. My child knows who his mummy and daddy are and would never refer to anyone else as mummy and daddy, he's only 2.5. It's a special relationship and being their child minder just doesn't cover it. It's a delusion to think its acceptable to confuse a child's basic boundaries and security. I give up now. The concept is completey alien and harmful IMO.

I think the parents who use my services are quite secure in the knowledge that their children love them first and foremost and that I am a sort of favourite aunty.

I provide warmth, cuddles safety and security while parents are at work

I am friendly and professional to parents who pay me.

Perhaps the most vehement anti cms are not such secure and confident parents and don't wish their child to form strong bonds with anyone but themselves. Understand that.

But each to their own

Just because you can't grasp the concept doesn't make it wrong or unprofessional.

I have no problem with the term auntie. I have no problem with cm, or at least I wouldn't have until this threa but now I'm more sceptical about their boundaries.

Is this still going on?

quite thebody. I am on DS2 now and while I may have been insecure about DS1 calling anyone else mummy, I now know it to be entirely harmless and great that he is so comfortable with his CM. It is far, far from harmful. Quite the opposite

If you posed the question on aibu, you might get a majority view :)

There is a man I have called gramps since I was little. Is no relation at all just an elderly friend of my parents. It didn't confuse me I knew we weren't related it was just a name, and half the village were auntie this or uncle that including 2 of the dinner ladies and the lolly pop man! :)

But each to their own and what one parent lives another could hate so that's why we need different types of child care.

Personally I see a baby room at my local nursery quite the saddest place, with young teens looking after them inside on a lovely day like today. They actually have set times to check nappies!!

Today we packed an all day picnic, headed to the woods, collected flowers,leaves and interesting bits and made a collage. Swings and at area.

Tea was home made shepherds pie with veg, strawberries and ice cream. In the garden.

Story time and home time.

Hey hoe just another day with a child minder