spent the afternoon at soft play ...love to hear your views, cms and parents

[thebody]

with my 4 mindees, aged 4,3,2,1.. (have ofsted variation).. sat beside me(and my 1 year old in the ball pit) were 2 mums with their dcs... aged about 4... they were normal boisterous boys spending half of their time kicking seven bells out of each other and the other half being the best of friends.. totally normal boys imo..

the mums, on the other hand, though obviously middle class intelligent women, nearly drove me mad..

they helecoptered their kids every move with, 'oh josh good jumping' or 'well done dan that was a really brilliant throw' and I dont mean just once but every bloody throw and jump!!!

they agonised when Josh wouldnt eat his lunch, instead of saying, 'sit down now eat up do as your told and behave yourself ' it was 'please josh behave yourself or mummy will be upset' for the love of god!!!

josh had a massive tantrum.. i ached to interfere when mum said to him that 'she understood he was angry but his behaviour was upsetting her and everyone else... she got that part right...!!!

they looked astonished when my 3 year old asked,'why do i have to sit down and eat lunch' and I replied,'because I say so'...... end of..

are we a generation of explainers to our children..???

i am more than happy to explain the seasons changing, why the sun is hot, why we need to feed the birds etc but when all is said and done..

if its a question of behaviour its because I say so.......

I find 'why do you think?' is effective and a bit less, well.....rude

I'm with you on the tantrums.

OK, you are convinced you are right and actually don;t want to hear views unless they concur with yours. That's fine - should have said!
Were they being a nuisance or were they "just being boys"?

A child asking 'why' they need to do something when they already know is annoying, but it's not naughty or connected to tantrums, running riot or being suspended from school!

why is' because i said so a cop out???? do you always have to negotiate everything with your children??? no you dont

you are the parent and adult... would you negotiate running in front of a bus??? you explain yourself once or twice, after that its just boring and the child is manipulating you...

lockets... running riot to me is having a tantrum.. but you are right it was the parents who were far more irritating than the children..

And I'll repeat - I quite often sayd "good jumping DS" when he does a high one or cheer when he comes down the slide backwards and head first (or whatever). I'd hate to think there was a CM sitting behind me sneering at me and sucking all the joy out of it.

i can agree with 'why do you think' and tbh dd gets that just as often and it does make more sense i suppose......

"would you negotiate running in front of a bus"
No because that is ridiculous. On the same theme, do you negotiate nothing? ever? Do you ever start or do you thrust them into the world at 18 still telling them what to do and saying "because I say so" if they question you?

explaining why is not negotiating.

I would not negotiate running in front if a bus. I would explain if they asked. Or as 'why they thought?' and get them to think about it.

mrs rhett butler.. absolutley and actually my dd is called Scarlett... SHE REALLY IS

stealth.. sorry thought i had answered your question... of course i value other opinions... as long as they agree with mine!!!! JOKE

I start out explaining and then resort to because I said so, it's not big it's not clever but I am often knackered.

no way! great name!

explaining why depends on how often this is asked imo.... sometimes children just like to be told...

negotiation depends on subject.. 'shall we paint today or do playdoh?' thats negotiation and the child will choose.... sit down for meals and behave.. no negotiation...commen sense really

POssibly they had equally sneery and smug thoughts about your parenting (or minding) and were equally appalled.

It seems like you wanted this thread to teach us all how to parent...your way. Thanks for the advice.

she is really scarlett. it is isnt it.. fabulous my dh thought chavvy.. fought him though..

my dds have unbelivebly sedate names though.. i wanted rhett and valentine.. dh nearly died... but i got my scarlett.. ha ha

hmmm, i may have drawn the line at Rhett (although i secretly love it) couldn't call my child it though.... i associate the name with sexiness! and that would be wrong!
my godson has Valentino as a middle name

thebody you are so wrong with you'd judgement of parents of children who have been excluded from school.

My son was perm ex'd & I am not too soft & certainly do care. Thankfully I don't care too much about judgements people want to make but I do feel obliged to respond when that judgement is stated as fact in public.

yes stealth i expect they were appalled !!!!!

at my mindees being beautifully behaved, saying please and thank you, hugging me and each other, taking turns ... equally respecting me, no tantrums, and above all having lots of fun, me and them....

by contrast the mums looked embaresed, tired and defeated...

i really fail to understand how i appalled you???? wierd...

the thing about kids is you have to enjoy having them.. trust me those mums today didnt look happy.. although they were irritating i kind of felt sorry for them..

Gosh so many conclusions from such a short outing .....

love valentino... dh would have killed me though!!!

thornykate... is there a serious behaviour issue with your son.. of course that can be a factor and nothing to do with parenting... do you think he deserved to be excluded???

You didn't appall me, I wasn't there
You are coming across as very smug and highly judgemental. And quite old fashioned in your methods. Fair enough - whatever works, but I'm just pointing out that not everyone agrees, and I would be quite irritated to think there was a stranger sneering at the fact I had said "good jumping" to my child.