Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Thanks Lovethesea - I'm thinking it's the side they made the first incision in that is probably redder and more sore? Seems like they would have had to have used more pressure on that area so it's more likely to be sore there.

I was thinking the same! And trying to work out if that meant my surgeon was right or left handed

Ha! Depends which side of the bed the surgeon was standing as well I suppose! Apparently my surgeon buggered off as soon as DD2 was delivered and someone else came along and stitched me up.

Hi!
Have to join this thread - I got a date for an elective c-section today, for next Monday! Feel really happy about it as I had a horrible three-day labour last time, was induced, in a lot of pain while still in the ANTENATAL WARD as the labour ward was full, emergency section in the end, was so tired I only have hazy (unpleasant) memories of the birth.
Was all set for an elective section in the UK, but had to suddenly move to my native Finland a few weeks ago and c-sections are not so easy to request here without a medical reason...so have been battling it out with docs and midwives, feeling scared, distressed, annoyed by the VBAC hard sell! So today, at 38+5 weeks was listening to another lecture from a doctor, burst into tears, and got a date agreed for a cs! Feel so much happier now, even if the recovery isn't so easy (it was last time). At least I won't be exhausted and panicky!

Welcome MarianneM , At least you have a date for section now and can get on with the packing/planning. Monday will be here before you know it.

Withor - out and about 6 days post section, brilliant! I so hope that my recovery is as good and as quick.

All going to plan I will go in on 4th August and schools restarts 16th August, hoping that 12 days post i can walk DD1 to school with baby in pram.

So excited now and cant wait to meet this little one. Never did the "new mummy/look at my baby" thing last time as DD1 born end of October, weather was rubbish and couldn't really get out and about for a few weeks anyway. Then I think mild PND kicked in and I ran back to work when DD1 was 9wks old. Thankfully my mum looked after DD1 so didn't have any issues with childcare. Mum not so keen this time as she looks after 3 x granddaughters (2 x 6yrs, 1 x 9yrs)takes them to school and picks them up after until myself and my sister finish work (usually 5-5.30pm) she says she couldn't cope with new baby.

This means that I am looking into going part time and being more of a hands on mummy this time. I am soooo looking forward to it. I think the right sort of birth will help this a lot.

hi girls, congratulations to those who have had there little bubbas and to those who have had there c-sec agreed.

i havnt posted for a long time, decided i was scaring myself keep reading posts etc.

ive had one consultant app. at 22 weeks and she didnt say much tried to talk me out of it etc, before even hearing how it was the long long recovery that was my reason not the atcual labour that has lead me to elcs.

i did alot of crying etc, she has made me an appointment to c her boss head consultant at royal berks,at 29 weeks for the final decission. she wrote a letter for my notes saying this patient has decided she def wants a elcs and is aware of any risks. so i thought that sounded positive.

am desperate to get the app. over with i just hope the head consultant is understanding.

feel as tho the fear of being refussed an elcs is overshadowing my joy of having baby no 2.

sophie - that does sound a positive note and I think you can stress your long recovery as a very good reason for avoiding another vb. When is your 29 week appt?

Just take notes to the meeting if you can- I also cried on my consultants all the time and it really helped to have my questions written down so I didn't walk out forgetting something crucial. I wrote down the risks to me of another vb and an elcs based on my history and ongoing issues. The mw who booked me in for DC2 said my birth didn't worry her from DC1 but my long, slow recovery did make her think an elcs was a good idea.

Hi Sophie, I have been wondering how it went for you with the consultant. That's good that you have an appt with the head consultant, I doubt they will turn you down - I think many of them feel obliged to talk you out of it initially but ultimately won't stand in your way. Good luck and keep us posted.

Hope everyone else is well. I am 9 days post section and still recovering really well. Off painkillers now, the only minor issue is a sore bit where the stitches were tied up - I think they stitched the ends up really tightly and it is a bit sore and red, although not infected and the rest of the scar is healing really well. Hopefully once they fully dissolve there won't be any more discomfort.

Lovethesea - sorry you've had to give up breastfeeding, your problems sound horrendous, well done for doing so well getting this far.

I have a feeling I may not be breastfeeding for long either. DD1 used to feed and feed and feed literally for hours a day and it took so much endurance and a huge emotional toll for the 6 months that we breastfed for just to keep going.

DD2 is now going the same way - 7 hour feeding sessions with no respite. I feel ok for the first 3 or 4 hours then start to get really tearful and upset. The worse thing is when I try to explain it to people they seem to think I'm exaggerating but I'm really not. I can't see how I can sit in a chair for 5 or 6 hours at a time feeding DD2 without poor DD1 suffering.

I'm going to keep going til DH goes back to work in 2 weeks then review it. I have to keep telling myself that I don't need anybody's permission or approval to give up breastfeeding, I just need to do what's right for our family in our circumstances. I tried to explain it to my Mum and she said "oh yes, they do feed every few hours when they're small". Felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall!! She's not feeding every three hours, that would be luxury!! She's feeding constantly for several hours at a time! People kept telling me with DD1 that it would calm down, so I persevered, but it never did, so I am very wary about persevering and nothing improving.

Anyway, enough about that, not really relevant ELCS wise!

Sorry, for the rant anyway.

Good luck with your consultant appointment when it comes round Sophie - my initial consultant said they could never recommend elcs but if it was deemed in the best interest of the mother & baby that they would not turn it down - ensure they are fully aware of the negative impact another vb would have on you & the baby. Good luck.

Withor - don't be hard on yourself at all, you must do what's right for you & the rest of your family - your baby has had the initial goodness from you, more than some babies who just refuse to bf or can't - I am both bf & formula now & my baby is not HALF as demanding as yours! I just don't feel comfortable bf in public so we are doing a bit of both & I don't feel bad about it as I'm not half as stressed out as I would be if I had to get my baps out in Starbucks (just not for me I'm afraid but all credit to those who don't care!)!

I'm 4 weeks post-elcs tomorrow - I've been driving since Monday - spoke to the insurance co & GP & both were happy for me to drive - yeehaa! Feel absolutely great, very fortunate I think - my friend has just had an emergency cs & is still sofa bound a week later. Everyone is different. I hope Mookle is ok as it sounds like she had a few complications - hope you're healing well now Mookle?

Hope everyone else is ok too xx

good luck with the consultant app sophie

Hi Onebabyplease I am OK had a couple of issues in hospital, had an allergic reaction to something in theatre but got that sorted out quickly, then DD had a really high temp on day 3 and we had to stay in hospital while they tried to find out what was wrong with her which involved taking blood from her from all over the place, fitting her with a thing on the back of her hand to adminsiter any drugs/ take blood ( i think?? - all a bit of ablur now just remember being shocked by this massive thing) then to top it all her jaundice levels started to creep up so we thought we were going to have to stay longer while she was treated for that, luckily they stayed just below treatment levels and we could go home to monitoring by community midwives. They never did establish what caused the temp so its all a bit of a mystery and dd is absolutely fine now thankfully. However all the above meant we had a longer than expected stay in hospital and it threw me for a while. As for the CS, very similar experience to those who have already posted, apart from the allergic reaction, and in myself feel a hell of a lot better than after VB!! Also on delivery of the placenta a succenturiate lobe was foumnd which was thought to be the left over placenta from the other embryo implanted (I had IVF)that did not survive so that was a bit of a shock as i hadnt really thought about all that through the pregnancy. on the positive side though, in this situation its very lucky i had a cs as at delivery this lobe can cause serious problems.

am attempting to bf but wondering how many days/weeks in everyone else started mixed feeding? Having trouble establishing when its ok to do this so any advice experience appreciated.

withor - I cannot imagine having to feed for that long and totally understand why you would look at your previous experience and weigh up what's possible with two kids! Unless you have serious help around all the time it is surely logistically impossible to feed for 7 hours a day with a toddler to care for too? And I thought DS was being a bit demanding with his 3-4 hour sessions at night, but you are amazing to even be contemplating it again after last time!

Do you have a bf specialist locally who could double check there is nothing else that can be done to speed her up? I presume not given your DD1 was the same, but maybe it would make you feel better if you choose to stop or to mix feed instead? (It helped calm my nagging doubts when I decided I needed to stop). You do whatever you deem right for you all though, I am enjoying DS and DD again now I am not in intense pain with bf. I'm even coping fine with being up in the night feeding, winding and changing DS. I am feeling much better now my breasts have stopped their engorged porn look and I've been off all painkillers now for a few days Just need to finish the course of drugs to kill the thrush then I am just on iron tablets (and the pill )

I know bf is not related to the elcs, but for me it is in a way as the whole experience of childbirth and recovery are tied, and bf this time was the only negative of such a healing positive experience of expanding our family to four. I do regret not being able to bf DS for longer but I am also glad to not be bf DS anymore - if that makes any sense to anyone!

Onebaby - glad you are back on the road too and feeling well

mookle - sorry your DD was so unwell, it must have been really frightening to see her tested for unknown illness. I'm glad the jaundice settled and that they sorted your allergic reaction very quickly. Very glad the lobe didn't cause any issues - must have been a shock still.

Wonderful to hear you are feeling much better than last time Not sure on the mixed feeding, I think the advice is usually about 6-8 weeks of bf then things should have settled a little in terms of pattern and supply. Other people start earlier and have no issues, but I think it depends on the baby and how well they go from breast to bottle and back.

Hi Mookie, glad the CS went well but so sorry to hear your baby was poorly for a while. That must have been so scary. Great that you're both home and on the road to recovery now though.

Regarding the feeding, it depends on what aspect you mean. It's supposed to take around 6 weeks to establish a regular milk supply, so I've always heard that any bottle feed before then should ideally be accompanied by an expressing session so you don't 'miss' a feed and reduce your supply. But if you mean when is it OK to first give a bottle at all, then the official advice is around 6 weeks, although myself and many friends have done it within the first week without any problems. I've always been more worried that they won't take a bottle at all if I leave it too long!

Hi mookle,

Glad you are settled back at home. Sorry to hear of the problems you experienced, that must have been scary with DD's temperature. I'm glad you're feeling better overall than last time.

Thanks all for your kind words about breastfeeding. DD2 was weighed today and at 11 days is almost back to her birthweight. I do feel a bit better now as it took DD1 5 weeks to get back to birthweight and that was with a lot of formula top ups too, whereas DD2 has only had about 4 bottles so far. Perhaps this will be an easier ride this time after all, going to stick at it in the hopes that things will calm down soon.

Oops, also meant to say the midwife came today and I got her to cut off the end of my stitches (dissolvable ones) as where they had knotted the ends was rubbing and causing me pain. Now that's gone I feel practically back to normal, can't believe how well the recovery has gone!

Bizarre isn't it!? I had to pop into the city today to get some urgent paperwork signed and was walking along feeling, well, me which I can't believe after only 4 weeks post elcs. I've got 10 pounds of babyweight to lose and a squidgy tummy that may never quite go (bikinis are overrated anyway) but I am me again, no huge pregnancy bump and no post birth trauma/severe damage.

Love it!

Lovethesea.

I've only got 10 pounds to go til pre DD2 weight too. Sadly, I have another stone of DD1 weight to lose after that!

Just realised I think whatshesaid is booked in for her c-s today. Hope it is all going well.

wow withorwithout u and lovethesea u both sound astho ur doing really well, and only 10lb to loose!!! amazing! i would have that plus more if i gave birth today at 27wks!! (hangs head in shame!) i will of course be back to it come oct!! but enjoying the ice cream bit to much!!

10lb! Try nearly 2 stone..sigh...

Still, given the nature of this thread that's a very trivial concern and completely in my own hands! The fact that's even an issue for me at the moment is an indication of how much better things have been this time around. I don't think I even cared until around 6 months post-birth last time around! Am now 8 weeks post CS, and all the tenderness around my scar has pretty much gone now. Still a slight numbness, but that doesn't bother me and that's getting less and less by the week.

I was wondering if there were any CS coming up that we hadn't registered. Hope it all goes great for you whatshesaid!

Hi all - don't wanna make anyone feel bad at all but I've got 3lbs to lose to pre-baby weight! Just very pleased with myself as was sure I'd put on LOADS of weight whilst pregnant but put on exactly 2 stone & it seems to have fallen off since I got home. I think it helps that this was my first baby so all credit to those of you who are on 2nd/3rd. And like you say, in the great scheme of things - who cares?! We've got healthy babies delivered safely.

Right girls - some advice please re the feeding thing - I've been combining bf & formula but only supplementing bf with bottle when I'm out in public or seemingly unable to produce enough milk to keep up with DS on a couple of occasions. Think I may have started this too early as I now seem to not be producing enough to keep him going through the day - how do I address this? Do I keep feeding him myself even though I'm not sure he's getting enough just to stimulate more production or is it too late for me & I'm in a vicious circle?
Also one nipple is very sore today & has a tiny white patch on the end of it (tmi, sorry!)- is this likely to be thrush & if so will I have to stop or just see my GP?

Hope whatshesaid & baby are both ok.

Glad you're both ok Mookle - must've been scarey.

Hi there Onebaby. Why do you think you're not producing enough? If it's because your DS is suddenly wanting to feed very frequently then he may just be having a growth spurt - they have loads of them in the early days and they are knackering! It can often feel like you don't have enough for them for a few days, but then it all settled down again (until the next spurt!). If you're worried about your supply you could try expressing a couple of times a day as well as feeding, although I know it seems impossible to fit this in if they're feeding loads anyway. If you want to keep up the BF, I would just keep feeding him whenever he asks and you'll up your production as he needs it. As long as there are lots of dirty nappies and he's putting on weight then he'll be fine. I would get the nipple checked out though, if it's thrush you want to nip it in the bud. It sounds like it possibly could be.

Hi,

I have read bits of this thread, but have a 2 yr old bouncing over me so cant read it all, so apologies if I am asking something that has laready been asked!

I am 34 weeks pregnant with number five. Number one was stillborn, 2 and 3 were natural deliveries, and number four was an emergency section. I have asked for a section this time but the consultant is less than supportive of this! I know what I want, I made my mind up ages ago, but no one seems to listen to me. I dont like my hospital, they have been rated the worst mat dept in the country, and have a rep for leaving women in labour with complications for so long that several babies have died (this is an ongoing investigation) and several others have been permanently disabled. To say I have no faith they would cope in a crisis is an understatement, but I dont have a choice of hospital really as I just cant get to a different one, with baby being due mid school holidays! Anyway, my real question is, can they actually refuse me a section? Can they force me to have a vbac against my wishes?
I have another consultant appointment in about 3 weeks time (I am sure they are leaving it so late in the hope I will go into labour and not have a choice!) and need to go in armed with all the info I can get!

Hi Stephie and welcome, I'm really sorry to hear about your stillbirth and EMCS.

From your description of your local hospital I think you may live in the same place as me - is it MK? I went to the hospital in the next county North this time and had no real problems getting a section - if you are able to consider transferring out of area I can tell you my consultants name and you could ask to be referred to him. I know that he is not keen on VBACs and doubt you would have any trouble whatsoever getting him to agree to an ELCS.

Otherwise, all I can suggest is that you ask to see a different consultant at your existing hospital - I know someone who was offered an ELCS at MK due to a previous 3rd degree tear - I can find out who her consultant was if you want to be referred to someone likely to be more sympathetic.

Apologies if I am not thinking of the right hospital - my advice would still be to ask for a different consultant if yours isn't supportive.

Hiya,

Yes it is MK hospital! Useless awful place!

If you could give me the consultants name that would be great, I will ask to be referred to that one. I could possibly transfer elsewhere, it would be a logistical nightmare, but the more I think about it, the less keen I am on having to vbac at that place so if no one will agree, I will probably have to go elsewhere! This baby is only going to have one chance of a safe arrival at the end of the day.