What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

mmmm

1. stitches stitches ooouuuccchhhh that for me labour was awful.
   but i was then going to go on to feel like i had been run over the only way i can describe pain after labour!!

2. how awful trying to poo is when uve had an epsiotomy!!

3. that i can do it and still live to tell the tale!! i panic for 9 months and in the end u cope, amazing

1. The amount of blood! I practically ran from the bed to the toilet about an hour after giving birth & I was allowed to move. It looked like someones head had been chopped off and the body dragged along the floor!

2. The baby might look blue at first - before it gets the oxygen in its lungs & goes a normal colour!

3. Thought you looked bad naked when you were 9 months pregnant? Wait until you look at yourself in the mirror naked for first time after giving birth - I was horrified!! (still am

1. Your birth plan goes out of the window... I was not going to have any pain relief but OMG it hurts SO much, I had the full works and then a section after all that.

1. Gas and air makes you giggle like an idiot on drugs and then makes you sick

1. Epidural is not so scary as I thought, not at all in fact and it was bliss.

Hmm mine are all drugs related....

Ohh can I have another one? - you might think, oh god the baby looks like my mother when it comes out rather than the rush of love/adoration you are supposed to have

Not to bother with a birth plan - you have no idea how amazing your body is, and what it is capable of (pushed for 3 hrs and about 4 before that of serious contractions, but a not a single aspirin.) I was amazed.

Don't scream - my midwife told me to use the energy to push and it gave me something to focus on rather than the contractions hurting.

That dh might as well not have been there, as I was so focussed on what I was doing that he must have felt like a spare part (until the emergency c-sec, when it was lovely to have him there).

Being in a warm bath REALLY helps with contractions.

That they sleep for ages when they've been born. I remember being stuck in bed with baby on the other side of the room and not sleeping for fear he would wake and need me and I wouldn't be able to get him and the midwives wouldn't hear him crying. He slept for hours and hours and I should have made the most of it.

C-sections really are not that bad (although I have no point of comparison as I've not had a natural birth). Having a c-sec doesn't make you a bad mother. It's everything after that that makes a you a good one. Getting baby out in one piece and keeping you healthy too it's what it's all about.

Sorry, I know that's more than 3 .

1. That the early onset of labour can be mistaken for indigestion.

1. That contractions often don't go by the book - mine were fast and furious at the very beginning of dilation - so much for a gradual build-up!

1. That at the time, I really wouldn't give a damn when my dream birth scenario was scrumpled up into a ball and rudely thrown out the window - at the end of the day, the baby was the important thing, not the manner of her birth.

...and three things I'm glad I didn't:

1. That DH would not be allowed into the operating theatre for my emergency C section.

1. That I wouldn't be allowed any skin on skin contact with my baby straight after the operation.

1. That we would be separated for more than ten hours after her birth

1. That you need to buy a large packet of blu-tac to block up the overflow on your bath. Very very deep bath really helps with contractions.

1. That the whole industry surrounding childbirth which tries to convince first-time mums that this can be a sanitised, controllable experience is bollocks. It just bloody hurts. BUT you do it, you get through it, and the 'I'm Queen of the World!!!!' buzz afterwards is brilliant.

1. That after the birth, you will feel like you've been pulled through a hedge backwards, stamped on, and forced to run a marathon after staying awake for five days.

1. If you need stitches and it hurts ask for more pain relief.

1. Don't allow yourself to be manhandled onto the bed to push when you have been standing up for 1st stage - I completely lost my rhythym / had no urge to push DS3 out resulting in ventouse, when everything had been going so well.

1. It will probably hurt like hell ( of women who don't find this!) but in the greater scheme of things is over fairly quickly.

1. Don't be scared of the midwives....demand what you need...it made all the difference with DD2's birth.

1. Eat and drink a lot.

1. When you start to believe that you are not in labour and its going to take another 10 years...that's transition!

1. It is possible to enjoy labour.

1. Birth plans are pointless, you might as well plan to labour in a hot air balloon with Richard Branson as a midwife for all the difference it makes.

1. That pethedine stops working after transition, as does G&A.

1. That the midwife will not allow you to get off the bed to do a poo.

Thank you Selina xxxx

1.That midwives leave you to it a fair bit if you're doing ok

2.that your baby might open its bowels all over you as he comes out That's m'boy!

3.that it is entirely possible to give birth and not have to have any stitches

1. That not all first labours last 12-24 hours as my antenatal teacher kept insisting and when you're at home feeling an urge to push after a couple of hours of not very painful contractions and 20 minutes of screaming the house down it is worth getting to the hospital fast despite what the midwives say over the phone and everything you thought you knew about how labour works. On a similar note, I should have paid more attention to the bit in antenatal classes about the amount of time between contractions that indicates labour is progressing fast. I thought a 2 minute gap was perfectly normal in early labour... These two points very nearly resulted in hubby having to play midwife at home. Oops.

1. That it is worth practising the drive to the hospital before you're in labour, particularly if you live in London and so generally get public transport everywhere and your DH has a terrible sense of direction. Getting lost when "the baby is coming RIGHT NOW" isn't funny. At all. Until a few weeks later anyway.

1. That most midwives know feck all about breastfeeding - I really really wish I'd realised this and asked for some assistance from one of the specialists. I was given totally inconsistent and wrong information by a number of MWs which really got in the way during the first 24 hours. I naively thought that all the encouraging posters round the wards meant that everyone really would do anything to help out. Not so. And the ones who did try to help really didn't know what they were talking about. Fortunately I got it sorted with the help of a lovely community MW when home, so leaving hospital pronto was worth doing (despite feeling like an irresponsible mother for leaving before knowing what I was doing on the feeding front).

It's been said already, but if I can have a number 4 it is that you really really really need pain relief for the stitches. I thought that nothing could possibly be more painful than labour and as I'd managed that with 2 paracetamol then stitches would surely be a breeze. WRONG! 40 minutes of intense pain while the midwife did her thing really got in the way of the first moments with DS.

Good luck. Whatever happens in your individual case - which will of course be different from every single story you'll read here - it will all be 100% worth it.

1. that the waters just keep coming and coming..
2. that a caesarian is nothing to be afraid of really.
3. that after a caesarian, the very first time you get out of bed, soo much blood gushes out and that you have to take a shower the morning after - big ouch!

...that you don't always get the adrenaline rush and you may not bond immediately with your baby. It may take a little time, but it will be fine.

...that labour looms large when it's ahead of you, but its importance fades once it's behind you.

That a TENS machine is the most wonderful invention in the world (sent my DP out to hire one half way through and spend the remainder of my labour saying "I love my machine" over and over again)

That once you have done the head, the shoulders and body really will come out easily (I was still in panic "I'm going to be split in two" mode - wished I'd been more relaxed and looked to see what was going on!)

That when everyone tells you that you will poo in labour, they don't mean a massive great post-curry style explosion, just tiny bits, and the MWs really don't give care (although you still will)

And can I have a fourth (sorry)... that giving birth is not necessarily a horrific experience, I found it amazing although I acknowledge that it is awful for some people and I was very lucky.

This thread is making me want to cross my legs and I've only read the first page!

Okay, here are mine:

1. That bringing in a million different snacks is pointless if they WON'T LET YOU EAT. B*STARDS! Seriously, I ate constantly throughout pregnant, it was traumatic to actually have to experience hunger and dizziness.

2. that when the anesthetist jokingly asks you to pray for him, you do (later). Because you are so relieved that you could kiss him if your DP wasn't in the room. He taketh away the pain!

3)That, annoyingly but also amazingly, all the crap they peddle is true. When you finally see your baby, it will be the best day of your life.

Ohh, Nickname, those could be mine as well!

1- that once the waters break they keep on leaking the whole time--they dont gush and then thats it. Man, my face was a picture when I came into hospital having had my waters break and was told I'd be wet for the rest of labour.

2- that my body would push when I was ready to push--exhausted myself trying to push DD out when I was only 8cms.

3- that DD was back to back. Still made a nice surprise when her head popped out and was gazing up at the midwives!

before my first birth: that midwives and obstetricians are supposed to get 'informed consent' before any intervention, including internal examinations. this means that the mother has to understand and agree to any procedure before it is carried out.

before my second birth: that she was never going to come out without assistance as she was jammed facing the wrong way! (would have saved me 4 long hours of pushing time...)

1. That my birth plan only existed to make me feel better in the run-up to labour, and served no further purpose

1. That I would be starving hungry immediately after DD was whipped out and furious that DH had eaten most of my food "because he needed some energy"

1. That the anaesthetist would be utterly lush and I should have put some make-up on and tried harder not to vom all over him

my third thing - doing it REALLY is much easier than worrying about doing it. when you are finally in labour, just getting on with it is almost a relief and not as scary as it should be iyswim.

That you really do leave your dignty at the door on your way in and you don't get it back until after your 6 week check.

That when you're being completely unreasonable and vile to everyone you are in transition - i had no idea about this beforehand

That when you ring the labour ward and they say you will be at least another 24 hours in labour its rubbish and to trust your instincts when you need to go in.

1. There's lots of poop.
2. Some nurses are lazy bitches who don't like women.
3. Food for you afterwards is an afterthought on the part of the hospital but you are STARVING. The role of your P is to hunt and gather on your behalf in the hospital.
4. Bring nice woolly socks.

ok that's 4.

RE: Birth plans.
"Plans are useless, planning is invaluable"

1 - that gas and air is not as great as everyone say it is, hated the feeling.

2 - that if you have an em cs, they may not give you enough anesthetic and you might try and climb off the table because you can feel everything (lovely anethasist made everyone stop while he topped up my drugs)

3 - that if they are monitoring the babys heartbeat they will make you lie on the bed no matter how uncomfortable you are.