What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

That there is, actually, a baby in there. It took SO FUCKING LONG for DD to make her appearance I had almost stopped believing that she was there and I only really understood that there was a baby when they held her up.

That the birth is just the start and the real job starts when you go home. I'm sure that my over-focussing on the birth was a contributory factor to my PND.

That being induced would mean that you can't use the birth pool because your risk rating goes up.

That when you've got through a 24 hour first stage and transition on just gas and air, and are feeling pretty damn pleased with yourself, crowning will hurt sooooooooooooo much you'll wish you'd been knocked out with a sledgehammer.

That when the baby finally slithers out and you realise you are still alive and not ripped in two halves, you will feel euphoria like you've never ever experienced.

That the cup of tea you're given after doing all of the above will taste like nectar from the gods

That your DH is not allowed to stay during prostin pains which are in fact far worse than labour pains.

That you should follow your instincts.

That afterwards you really do forget the pain until you're 9 months pregnant again and suddenly you panic that you can't do it all over again (my current situation).

May I add;

4. The baby might not just creep out gradually. It might fly out like a greased pig and literally have to be caught by the mw. It is a sensation you can remember while sitting at your desk at work 2 years later and you will never quite come to terms with the feeling of another human being exiting your hoop at high speed...and we're not talking about one of those caught in your room by your mum type moments!

Most of it covered but I wish I knew how THIRSTY I would be and that tepid hopital tap water would not do anything to fix it.

Also wish I realised how bloody irritating rotating disco balls and huge lava lamps can potentially be and that I hadn't ended up in the 'sensory' room

And that it's not actually as scary as you might think!

That, if the maternity ward has just sent you home because you are not in established labour, when you have to stop 10 times while walking to the car because you are having mahoosive contractions do not go home as instructed.... turn round and tell them your staying put til the baby arrives.

Not to try and clean the shower yourself after giving birth - every time you move more blood will gush out so just when you think the place is spotless you'll turn round and find another pool of blood (seems never ending). Either get DH to do it or apologise profusely and tell the MW you couldn't get it all clean. (I tried to do it all myself and almost passed out, on my own, locked in shower room - I don't think anyone actually intended me to be scrubbing the shower 30mins after giving birth but I felt so guilty about the mess).

That giant cheap cotton knickers are so much nicer than crappy paper disposables.

rockbird I still think about my 2 DCs high speed exits with astonishment (and a little pride that my body is capable of such remarkable behaviour).

1. make sure there is fuel in the car.

2. just because i said I wasn't having contractions an hour ago on the phone (after having stopped for fuel...see above) doesn't mean that I am not in severe pain right now. YES I'VE HAD A BABY BEFORE, I KNOW WHAT LABOUR PAINS ARE LIKE...STOP TRYING TO FIND TWIN 2 AND FUCKING EXAMINE ME NOW...

3. cheap cotton knickers definitely.

sorry number 2 was meant to be...shout if you feel you aren't being listened to...

Probably not such a good idea for me to have read this thread.

I know that hundreds of babies are born every second across the world but it doesn't make it any less petrifying does it?

Seconded, dollshouse. It's like waiting to be tortured.

1. epidurals are wonderfully effective so if you suddenly feel terrible labour pains while having an epi, this probably means the line has come out

2.No topping up of the epidural during the pushing stage meant that it was very painful being stitched up afterwards...so remind the MW the epi has worn off

1. the incredible adrenaline rush I had after having a VBAC meant I could not sleep at all for the first 24 hours after birth (and this is when baby is sleepiest...)...wish I had taken it easier the days leading up to the birth instead of going out shopping & cleaning...

As an add-on, the adrenaline rush was so amazing I think nothing in the world could top this...only for this I would have a third child...

1. your lips get really dry - take vaseline

2. that you should follow what YOU think - if you're ready to push, then you probably are 10cm (have heard sooooo many stories of midwives not believing you!)

3. And perineum massage works wonders for reducing tears. It really does work, and is well worth the small amount of effort

1. you have to ASK for the gas and air (and any other pain relief for that matter)

2. it may not take as long as you (or the mw) expect

3. when you start panicking and saying you can't do this and need an epidural, THAT'S transition (took me by surprise both times!)

Seconded again dollshouse, I'm due with my second DC in 10 wks time and starting to think "oh shit, I can't do that again" despite the fact that DS1's labour / birth was relatively manageable (10 hrs, only G&A, no tears or stitches) and I spent the following months smugly telling everyone how easy it was and how well I coped .

Am starting to get a bit scared now...

1. That not everybody's contractions ever get to the magic "3 to 4 minutes apart" which was when I was told to go into hospital! One midwife kept telling me I couldn't go in until they were more regular, even though they were getting much stronger and longer - if I had listened to her I would NEVER have got to the hospital, as they never did get to that point (ended up going in anyway when the mw on the next shift said I could, to find I was already 6cm, but never did get more regular contractions due to baby in funny position, and ended up with EMCS...)

2. That sometimes it's better NOT to know exactly what will happen but to just go with the flow. If someone had told me beforehand how my labour would go I'm sure I would have been petrified, but by taking things as they came we all stayed relatively calm and just got on with it, and it was not as bad as it would sound describing it.

3. That birth pools really are fab! (Pity I probably won't be allowed to use it this time)

1 That some of the reasons they advise you not to have a homebirth are based on a checklist, not your personal risk status and may not mean you should not birth at home

2 That having a posterior labour can be really long and painful and that there are things you can do to get a baby to move (see Spinning babies website)

3 That it is meant to be a special day and that a Doula can focus only on you and your families needs- whether thats physical, emotional and spiritual and can help make the experience a positive one

4 (I know it should only be 3) it is worth it to persevere to breastfeed, its the best feeling in the world to bond and nurture your new baby, that you dont need to rush to get things 'back to normal' you have gone through a massive transition, its normal to feel different and there's nothing more important than taking time to enjoy your baby

1. That I might not labour and go straight from induction to cx (never expected that one)
2. That i'd feel overwhelming loss as a result of my cx and that all the comments along the lines of "but the most important thing is that you have a lovely baby" would make me want to physically attack people

Now i'm crying again

1. paper knickers are crap and not worth buying - had to get DH to bring giant M&S pants to the hospital!

2. there is no poing worrying about loss of dignity - there is none, but you really don't care.

3. you don't need to know exactly what to do beforehand - I panicked so much about this at the end of my pregnancy - that's what midwives are for.

4. you may not look like an earth-mother goddess in those first photos. I looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge forwards and backwards. Baby will look beautiful though!

1. Make a birth plan by all means, but be prepared for it to be rewritten or completely thrown out the window if baby doesn't play ball

1. Back to back labour takes a LOT longer and feels like a lot of hard work for a very slow reward (and paracetamol doesn't cut it as pain relief)

1. Epidurals don't always work evenly - one side was completely numb and the other where I had my awful awful hip pain all through pregnancy still felt all the joy of contractions - and being told to push in that situation is a physical impossibility.

Someone tell me again why it is that I'm having a second baby! I'm frankly terrified already and I'm only 28 weeks

That effective breathing really is the key, I could have gone on for hours, as long as you are able to keep the focus.

That the birth partner (husband, partner, friend etc) is not a 'spare part' couldn't have done it without my husband, we did it together, he massaged me through it in tune with my breathing.

That nothing in the world or before or after in your life beats when the baby finally rests on your breast.

Good luck!

FFS - shouldn't have read this.

DC3 due in a months time - terro setting in. FFS - it's going to hurt!

to victoriascrumptious (((((hugs))))
This site might help a little with what you are feeling-
www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/CSANDVBAC/shouldbegrateful.htm
Selina x