What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

Wish I realised that when your waters go THEY KEEP GOING! Might have been an idea to bring a towel in the car to the hospital... ooops.

Wish I checked dh could tie up my hair BEFORE having a load of canulas in my hands!

Wish I knew more about types of instrumental delivery. I had a Kiellands forceps delivery (rotational) - didn't realise it was any different or more risky to a regular forceps delivery. All was well BUT I would probably request a c-section if in the same situation instead next time.

Things I did know that helped:

Bring a stressball to squeeze on for internals - loved this and also helped me a lot during contractions

Got dh to keep a labour diary - kept him occupied and is hilarious reading now, especially the gas and air stuff: 'contractions are like when you're in a taxi and you know you're going to throw up and have to pay for it but you're just hanging on. Like the headache bit, before you throw up. Like a taxi to Harrogate' OR about the epidural, while still a bit doped from gas and air 'it's like being a bird flying over the sea when the sun is setting on the waves'. Yes ladies, I was that poetic

TENS machine - also a good thing for me

1. That saying during transition "I cannot do this, I am not having a baby today, please can I go home, I promise I'll come back tomorrow" will make you feel really, really stupid afterwards

1. That tea and toast afterwards are the most delicious meal ever

1. That the rush after an unmedicated delivery is sooooo different from any previous experience you might have had

BTW, also liked my TENS machine - up to a point ...

Yes I've read that about TENS too Paulosgirl. I'm highly sceptical. I started it early and it probably did help a bit.

But when you are turning the controls up to full (or attempting to as you can barely even find the controls any more) and frying yourself in a desperate attempt to get some relief, then it becomes about as useful as a chocolate teapot!

1. That it doesn't always go the way the books say - the baby hasn't read the books - and that the baby CAN arrive within 45 minutes of the first contraction! Baby 1

1. That a baby CAN arrive within 20 minutes of the first contraction! Baby 2

1. That it would have taken even less time second time round if I hadn't tried holding the baby in cos I knew it was going to hurt!

1. That they let the epidural wear off so you can feel the need to push (owwwwww)

1. That having your waters broken with a giant crochet hook by a consultant with enormous hands hurts more than giving birth to twins.

1. That ignoring the midwife and pushing when you are supposed to pant will result in a 3rd degree tear.

that mws follow hospital procedures and that doesn't mean putting the mother first

it is ok to say no. esp when they are fiddling around 'just to see what's happening'

attempting to preserve dignity is not a good idea

1. That you can throw up quite spectacularly during transition.

1. That the pushing stage is the worst part of the whole labour and begging the midwife to pull the baby out by their hair is frowned upon.

1. The feeling when it's all over is just the best feeling ever.

That you are still sore afterwards. I had slight tearing but couldn't face stitches. Didn't want to be touched down there at all.

The afterpains are painful.

The poo!

1. That dd was 'back to back' position, and how this is extra painful in labour - am amazed now that I did 5 hours with just gas and air before the (wonderful) epidural.

2. That dh would be the worried one who needed calming and distracting during the emergency c-section. Bless.

3. That the baby they warned me could be 'on the small size' and a bit weak and weedy side would be 8lb 6oz and barely able to fit into the babygrows we brought for her. She was so 'long' that she had about an inch spare room either end in the hospital 'crib' thing. She also appeared to have the constitution of an ox, if I'd known this I would have been much more relaxed and less worried!

1. You need to really toke on the G&A to make it work. One suck between pushes won't do it - still proper breaths of it helped with the stitches

1. If you make too much noise you won't hear the midwife tell you to pant and you will tear

1. It does feel like a poo - I never believed it, surely it's a different hole?

To have totally understood about the transitional part of labour, had no clue with baby number 1.

To take lots of nighties for the labour bit to be binned straigh afterwards, I was very sweaty and waters everywhere and a change of nighty whilst in labour was nice and refreshing.

Really listen to your midwife, they know what they are doing. I asked mine tobe quite firm (not bossy) but firm in their instruction.

And remember that you are about to meet your little baby that you have been carrying round for nine months, every breath and second will get you closer to that moment. Keep that in mind. It is amazing, I remember both of my boys the minute they popped out, so happy and releived.

• that getting dressed, shoes on and into the car with constant, hefty contractions is horrible.

• that even in an em cs the theatre staff are lovely and swoop into action like the A-team.

Like the others, the transition bit is funny, DH has to stifle his laughs, as he said I strted to weep like a little girl who had lost he favourite doll and apparently I did these massive gulping snotty sobs saying I would be on the news as I would be the first person ever whoose baby lived in her vagina as I couldn't push him out!

1. not all waters break in a gushing torrent. mine split at the top at just sort of leaked a bit whenever i moved.

1. tens machine just gives you something to fiddle with but naff all to stop it being painful.

1. a birthing pool is the most amazing thing ever (doesn't stop it hurting but makes it all more bearable and being able to float about in between contractions is great)

1. you won't give a fig if a whole marching band is in the room while you're pushing - that is the only thing you can focus on

1. when dh moans afterwards that his arm aches from holding the G&A things out of the water so that i didn't inhale water i wanted to slap him (aches just doesn't cut it really)

1. i didn't realise that i could be so vile to the midwife (i apologised afterwards for telling her to fuck off)

oh and 7. feeling the baby go back up after pushing really hard is really soul destroying but it will come out eventually. (lol at carocaro living with a baby in her vagaina - imagine when it was 18!)

• not all mws are nice friendly women who want you to have the birth you want.... some of them are utter cows who'll go out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable

• that it can feel somewhat anticlimatic to be in labour but not actually any closer to having a baby and that dp won't understand how frustrated and uncomfortable you are and will go to bed leaving you to labour alone all night with only a demented cat for company

• that coping with the pain without pain relief during labour is doable but having no pain relief for the stitches is the most horrendous sensation imaginable

That ds was going to be just fine. Had scary bit after he popped out and he had a trip to special care for a few hours.

To make sure my codiene dose was in HUGE letters on my notes as no-one asked if I was on any meds so I didn't get any after birth during 24 hours of cockups. Some MW tried to tell me that codiene wasn't a good idea for post-birth pain and luckily my terp intervened to explain more politely than my vagina was just fine thanks, but the SPD I'd had before birth wasn't, and my wheelchair I'd come in should have been a clue!

That postnatal care is non-existent at night in hospital and lying in diarrhoea for hours is not considered something that needs attention. That was the worst part for me. Birth was a doddle in comparison.

Luckily I already knew that G+A is fab for me and the birth part went just fine.

ROFL at carocaro's baby living in her vagina !

That doing my own pedicure the day after sat on the hospital bed just sooo cheered me up

That a king-sized Snickers bar is an essential labour bag item

That the peeling paint on the walls of the elderly hospital I gave birth in x3 really did not matter compared to the great care I had

1. Sometimes midwives will lie to you so that you stay calm.

1. Labouring and giving birth in the pool is the best thing ever - the water is so supportive.

1. Take a dark coloured towel in your hospital bag - you will bleed all over it and if it's dark you won't care so much!!

1. that you would have a heavy period bleed afterwards....I totally underestimated 'lochia'and how long it it would last.
2. that you will forget your inhibitions and won't care at all when your bits are on show during labour or when you have someone stitching you up.
3. that you feel a little strange without your bump...it almost feels like a loss even though you have your gorgeous dc to hold.

1. If you have 3 lots of morphine (ds1) you may suddenly think it's 1987 and you're going to a party in a barn

2. If you have the first shot of morphine far too late in labour (ds2) then it just won't work until after delivery at which point you'll just want to sleep rather than get on with establishing bfing.

3. It really fucking hurts. But you really do forget as soon as you get hold of your baby (sleepiness nonwithstanding)

1, 2 & 3: That a good midwife will give you a good birth experience no matter what happens, and a bad midwife will give you a bad birth experience no matter what happens.

That it wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be. Was terrified beforehand, but first words on being handed dd were "Was that it?" Wish I'd enjoyed it a bit more instead of being braced for everything becoming unbearable.

that you might end up with a really really sore jaw from grunting and biting on the gas and air inhaler. i did neither second time round cos i ated that feeling afterwards, it was actually worse than how i felt down below.

that your baby might seem extremely heavy and big, not tiny and fragile at all. i found this with dd, i think mostly due to the long length of labout with her, and how weak i was as a result.

that breathing properly through the contractions really does work. didn't feel in control first time with the breathing , but second time i had it sorted.

That taking food into hospital is a very good idea. I didn't and needed to stage a major tantrum at 1am to get the fabled toast and tea after a 24 hour labour! (aneathetist topped up the epidural at the end which was too late but meant I still could not move my legs 6 hours after the actual birth... and hadn't eaten for 30 hours).