What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

1. Don't get your OH to time contractions. They will get it wrong. And if you're having a home birth, will tell the midwife they're 10 minutes apart rather than 3 minutes apart, meaning you nearly end up giving birth with just a terrified / useless man to help you and NO FECKIN MIDWIFE.
2. They're sturdy little buggers and will cope with being removed from your fanjo with an alarmingly large amount of force (obstetrician pushing against the bed with his feet to get best leverage). They will be mighty pissed off afterwards, hopefully pissed off enough to immediately shit all over the bloke with the forceps.
3. Don't have a lovely pedicure just beforehand cos if you have to have a C-section, they'll take your nail varnish off, leaving you looking like you've run yourself over with the lawnmower.

That even if your ante-natal teacher says only 5% of people's waters go with a pop/splash, that doesn't mean you won't be in that 5%

That if they tell you that first babies are often late and labour will be long, again, that doesn't mean yours won't be early and quick, and that therefore you need to be far more prepared than you were. And that if your contractions are 2 minutes apart and your DH is suggesting it's time to get to the hospital, he's probably right...

That the feeling of the baby slithering out at the end of labour is the weirdest but best feeling in the world!

(and a sneaky 4th, that in some places the midwives are all wonderful, and that when she makes you tea and toast you'll want to kiss her...)

With my first baby, I wished DH had known not to use words I wasn't used to during transition.

They brought in the baby's crib...although I know what that word means usually, I usually say cot, and for some reason I took the word crib to mean coffin...I truly thought my baby was dead .

No one figured out why I thought that until months later when DH and I talked about it, and I suddenly twigged what my brain had done with the word 'crib' while he was retelling the story. Sounds mental!

With DS2, he knew this and was able to double check I understood everything if I seemed to be getting upset for no reason... not that there was time!!!

Oh Abbie!

That I have a very long cervix and therefore will take longer to progress than most people.

That induction at 2 days past my due date is something that I should have refused.

That I could have refused continual monitoring once my meconium stained waters broke.

Basically that all the potential problems listed at the bottom of the induction consent form do actually happen quite frequently.

1. That you can't clench at the back and push at the front - you have to go ALL OUT. The only way to get your baby out is by pushing with every muscle fibre in your body and facing up to the challenge with some sort of primal vigour! In some bizarre and deluded way, I think I had the preconceived idea that you could have some kind of composure/dignity throughout, or even that I would care about these things at the time...

1. Don't ask about what kind of utensil they are going to use to break your waters - you will only be trying to not think about the long, thin stem with a spike minutes later.

1. If you want a epidural, ask for it BEFORE the pain becomes unbearable because if you wait for it to reach climax, it will be too late. Guess that's the kind of thing you can only learn through retrospect though. And actually, I'm quite glad I avoided an epidural - however horrified I was at the point in labour.

Ooh - got three more to add:

1. That you might sound like a five year old trying to be polite (Don'tlikeitDon'tlikeitDon'tlikeit - said in high-pitched voice during transition.
2. That the head coming out feels the size of a hard space-hopper
3. That the body unfurling out afterwards feels like a long slithery snake.

And it's so worth it... Good luck...

1. that labour whichever way it goes is only the start of the much much longer journey of motherhood (had not really occurred to me beforehand ).

1. that totally different deliveries (induction, emCS, VBAC) can all be positive experiences.

1. that having done it 3 times before I am still irrationally worried about this baby coming through labour unscathed, really really do not know why??

Loving this thread !

stay calm. you can hold off pushing for a lot longer than you would expect (discovered that during birth #3 - much much easier delivery despite being over 1lb heavier with arm by head)

That when your waters break you will be pissing yourself for the remaining 36 hours of labour.

That you will pack way too many bags full of crap that you won't need (game of cribbage anyone?) and your DH will end up like Sherpa Tensing lugging them around the hospital.

That every post birth photo your DH takes will also manage to include your catheter tube.

1)That a first labour can be just a couple of hours from first contraction to delivery of pink bundle but staff won't believe you and will think you are a jessie making a fuss

2. see 1

3. see 1

1. That you may make noises like a farmyard animal (cow in my case)

1. That it is fucking hellishly painful, more painful than you can possibly imagine. Like having your insides ripped apart by jackals.

1. That you shouldn't always listen to the fucking mw who keeps putting you off coming in as it will be almost TOO BLOODY LATE for pain relief and you will be out of your mind in agaony.

Not that i'm bitter...

that no-one has a right to your time when you have just given birth (Except the baby)

that it really does feel great when the baby is out.

that if you think you can feel the baby coming out...you are probably right...

1. That having an emergency c section means the baby has to be delivered within the hour (but that the prep takes a while and thats what the rush is for)

1. That having a catheter is not that bad (that was my worst fear)

1. That having an edipdural (which i was so against) is a big huge relief in the end and nothing much to be scared of.

1. that in allof my 4births my labour bag would remian unopened except for nightie,washbag and baby clothes.

2. Hospitals don'tfeedpeoplewith milk allergies, take your own or go hungry. Hungry, after childbirth,is another thing to hungry at any other time.

3. I can BF.I need to follow a DF diet as my boys would be DF

1. That hospitals only seem to have scrubs up to a size XL & if you DH is any bigger than that & you have to be taken to theatre he will not be allowed in with you as they have nothing for him to wear!

1. That even after 3 days of horrendous pain & no sleep & precious little pogression, no one will have thought to check the baby's position & then be completely shocked when they pull her out & she is back to back!

1. That you can be denied gas & air becuase 'you are not at the right stage'!!

Good point on the labour bag BethNoire, my DH nearly needed hospital treatment himself after carting all my superfluous shite bought after following the NCT list to the letter essentials.

1. That even if the birth is quite easy the first pee afterwards is likely to really sting!

1. That you'll spend the first couple of days afterwards feeling as if you were recovering from a really bad flu

1. That childbirth is not nearly the hardest bit...

1. That when those nurses doing my smears throughout the years said "ooh, haven't you got a thick cervix?" what they meant was "ooh, aren't you going to have a long labour?"
2. That you will feel like you've been hit by a truck afterwards. Tired, tired - a tiredness so complete and all-encompassing that the deepest sleep could only tickle at its surface
3. That everyone's labour is completely different - and if you're reading this while pregnant thinking all of the above will happen to you - it won't.

That I had the right to tell the consultant to bog off when he popped in on his rounds - and I should have exercised it and saved myself a whole load of unnecessary intervention.

That I should have had the baby at home.

That DH would eat all the bloody sandwiches.

I wish I had known that I had the right to refuse internal examinations.

That they can't force you by having one person hold your arms down and forcing their fingers inside you while you scream for them to stop

1. That you can puke fairly regularly throughout the whole thing - and afterwards for a few hours

2. That the only relief from a TENS machine comes from ripping the stupid thing off and throwing it across the room

3. That when your waters break they keep coming with every contraction that follows....