What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

That I would want something savoury to eat (only took sweets but lovely midwife found me a cheese sandwich)

Further to the point by ruddynorah - if you have G&A use a mask rather than a mouth piece. You get to lean into the mask which I found helpful during contractions. With ds1 I had a mouth piece and for some reason my lips completely swelled up in a delightful Lesley Ashesque trout pout.

There are no photos.

1. To focus on the pushing rather than the screaming in agony (the midwife actually said those very words to me )!
2. That the placenta isn't easy to push out AT ALL!
3. To remember to take the baby bag out of the car before giving birth.

The second time round:

1. That I KNOW that I am going to have the baby VERY SOOOOOOON, even if the midwife says I am only 3cm dilated and sends me home.
2. That when they say the second baby comes quicker - they mean REALLY quick!
3. Just how hard it is to NOT push when you are 5 miles away from the hospital, in a car at traffic lights, with a very scared DH, and a baby just about to make an appearance!

1. If I want to eat then I bloody well will eat. (wasn't 'allowed' food whilst in labour so hadn't eaten a crumb for 2.5 days)

1. Do not have an epidural or Diamorphine

1. Stick to the birth plan of gas and air and birthing pool.

1. If your waters break at home, a normal sanitary pad will be useless and by the time you get to hospital, you will be very wet and the water can continue to pour out for many hours.

1. That DH can be very annoying during labour, even if he is trying to be ultra helpful. My DH kept doing these weird breathing techniques ('breathe in through your nose and outthrough your mouth, darling') and I just wanted to tell him to shut it. The techniques were utter crap, he was literally making it up there and then and I had other things to think about (like the pain and the midwife giving decent instructions). He was relentless and it really bugged me but I did not want to ruin our birth atmosphere by telling him to shut the fuck up, so I just pretended to listen (and breathe loudly) whilst thinking about something else entirely.

1. Once the baby is out, the pain ends pronto. Such a sense of relief. More intense than seeing DC was the realization that labour was over.

1 that if you ask for an epidural does not automatically mean you will get one (bastards)

2 that giving birth these days really seems to be geared towards the natural birth brigade (no i don't want to squat, i'm knackered and a birth pool will just mean not only am i in pain but i am also wet ) well it seems to be in the hospital i was in anyway.

3 that if you have a retained placenta they give you a drug that puts you back into labour and that whilst you are trying to bond with your baby you actually end up in agony again but there is still no one available to give you a spinal block

bastards

1. That I was going to end up with an em-C section whatever I did, so might as well ditch the paracetamol and aromatherapy for the first 10 hours and G&A for the final nine and go straight for the hard drugs. Although I'd stick with the floating round in the birth pool bit.
2. That while true cephalo-pelvic disproportion IS rare, some poor cow has to be the one it happens to, and if your baby never engages and your bump is the size of a Mondeo it's probably you.
3. That the lack of any pushing sensation after 1/12 hours of the is probably a hint your baby has decided to turn transverse just to make things extra exciting.
4. That while big bleeds after C-sections are also rare, some poor cow has to be the one it happens to.
5. That while you might never have planned to have a c-section it makes sense to talk through your preferences with your birth partner if it does come to that. DS might have been fed for the first 12 hours when I was laid out in high dependency if we'd had that chat guilty emoticon

1. that actually NOT having DH there was a blessing in disguise (could poo, throw up and just get on with it whilst he races back on the motorway)

1. that you get the biggest high ever when you see your baby for the first time

1. that I should have asked for a more experieced MW to do my stitching; don't think mine had even gained her brownie badge for patchwork skills...

Good luck.

1. That internal examinations can hurt
2. That using G and A too early means it loses its effectiveness when you really NEED it
3. That you simply can't plan the birth and the best outcome is healthy mother and child no matter what

1. that if you are induced, then feel stomach cramp, YOU ARE PROBABLY IN LABOUR. Don't think it won't happen until the second dose. That would have saved me a frantic dash to the delivery room, legs akimbo!

1. don't get DH to time contractions - apparently, he was too engrossed in his book to keep track

1. if you are not screaming with pain no one takes you seriously

1. That the road taking you to hospital (if relevant) will feel like a third-world road, in that every bump, crack and pothole will feel like a form of torture on your labouring being

2. That the excrutiating pain is just about manageable

3. That labour and childbirth are the easy parts of parenthood

I did breathing exercises and it helped a lot, I was terrified, and then coped so well that my DP was VERY impressed.

I wish I had known that if you have stitches having a poo is really scary. That you actually can and you won't rip again . Eating loads of fruit first thing in the morning helps a lot

'To focus on the pushing rather than the screaming in agony (the midwife actually said those very words to me )!'

Undercovermutha, I was told words to that effect too - hence the not hearing the instruction to stop pushing and tearing...

How long it was going to last.

That's it, really.

that if you take the gas and air before you eed it them it will work at the peak of the contraction.

Rather than taking the gas and air when the pain got to the worst bit.

Why oh why didn't any of the midwives explain this?

with second labour - I had seen this ontv - so was well equipt with a bit of knowledge and had gas and air and it worked - wayhay

1. How amazing epidurals are

1. How pointless it is to contort yourself into various bizarre positions in an attempt to find a comfortable one

1. How the moment it is over you wonder why you worried what labour is like as now you have a baby to look after and you have no idea where to start

1. That labour is different for everyone.

1. Therefore, that 98% of the advice you get and information you gather with obsessive interest will be utterly useless. But you won't know which 98% until afterwards, and it might be worth it for the 2%.

1. That there is a reason for the clitoris not being in the vagina. Just imagine childbirth with a clitoris involved. Jesus.

1. That you get a decent MW who DOES tell you when to pant, not one who tells you to KEEP PUSHING until you tear up to your eyeballs.

1. That if they break your waters with DC1, it is possible for baby to arrive within 3 hours, even if the doctors say it isn't.

1. You will poo. In the MW's hand, if you're as lucky as me

1. That it was going to hurt more than I could ever imagine and that drugs only take the edge off the pain.

1. That I'd prefer to be completely alone and in silence for most of the time so I could focus on what was going on without all the many distractions in the delivery room.

1. That I'd feel such a huge overwhelming rush of love as soon as I held my baby.

choosyfloosy

1. How much blood there was going to be. Woke up next day to a scene from a horror movie.
2. That if you having someone stitch up your fanny causes it to swell up, thought my vagina had prolapsed, was so really worried till the penny dropped d'oh!
3. You might need more than a couple of nighties, because you might have to stay overnight and wake up in a pool of blood, messy business giving birth.

1. That 1st sign of labour would be projectile vomiting, and that I would continue to throw up all the way through labour, and eventually end up having anti-sickness injections and a drip.

1. That when you are severely dehydrated your wee turns to a dark brown jelly like substance.

1. That it might take so long (4 days of very regular painful contractions).

1. That you might be in labour that long you go through 4 different midwives before your baby finally appears.

1. that you might think the whole hospital should be revolving round you but actually, the MW might not give a toss.

2. That immediate skin to skin with your newborn bubba is not a given. They might take her away for 20 minutes and not tell you why

3. That you will be the only one who thinks bf is worth getting steamed up about.

1. That they'd take the gas and air away for the pushing stage
2. That MW would start stitching me up without any anaestetic
3. That the canula they put in your hand is almost as bloody painful as the contractions, ok not quite but when you're thrashing around and bashing your hand too, it doesn't help matters.

That when you go to hospital in the car go in the back seat so you can go on all fours & not sit in the front seat with a baby's head bashing at your fanjo.

To ask for G&A when they are doing your stitches.

That afterwards your stomach will look like dough & you will feel like a 90 year old woman who has been kicked in the ... with steel toe capped boots.

To ask for a bedside cot (that attaches to the bed) so it is easy to pick baby up in the night.

Agree with comments that labour is easier than the first few weeks/months with a new baby.

ps. I knew about labour feeling like doing a poo. My 93 year old plain speaking northern neighbour told me, 'Just imagine you are shifting a gert shite!' worked for me! God bless her a pearl of wisdom.