For those of you who wrote negative things to Ema76 about her CS will you please read this.....

[Shooflypie]

because I am really, really shocked by some of the things that were said to her. I am repeating some of what I wrote on the original post on the basis that I think this issue is important.

I recently had an el cs for exactly the same reasons as Ema76. My mother had a 48 hour labour, forceps delivery, severe tearing which led to incontinence in later life (and further operations), was sectioned with severe PND, which lasted for over a year.

She said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.

My experience was that my consultant took my fear of VB VERY seriously and his view was that a VB would put me at risk of PND and not bonding with my baby. (And btw I am perfectly robust in all respects other than this particular issue.)

I did have counselling, which was great and sorry but their goal is NOT to persuade you out of a CS as some posters assume.

I had an elcs and it was a fantastic experience. And the recovery was fine. And DS did NOT having breathing difficulties and he DID BF while I was still in the theatre.

Please take note of the following in particular:
A significant additional part of my anxiety and distress prior to the cs being offered, was that I was afraid of other women being judgemental of me.

I was so afraid of this I considered lying about the reasons for having a cs, or even trying for a VB (in the hope it would end in an em cs).

Due to a clued up consultant, a hospital psychologist, and a wonderfully supportive DP, I had the birth that was right for me and it has got our life as a family off to a flying start.

I am now very upfront about why I did have an el cs in the hope that it will be helpful to women like Ema.

I really don't understand why having a VB matters SO MUCH to some people that they think it is OK to behave with such viciousness to a pg woman? Or anyone.

Please will you reflect on the experience that I've outlined here and maybe try to be a bit more empathetic when someone tells you she wants a CS.

And bear in mind that a consultant and a pychologist took the opposite view to you.

mmj
"you were arrogant, unpleasant and unresponsive to any ideas or thoughts that did not fit your exact mindset. THAT is why people had a go. "
i did not ask for anyones opinion on a elective cs. why should i take note of them and they were unpleasant to me when i stated my opinions back which makes them arrogant, unpleasant and unresponsive. i'm not changing my mind. they wouldn't change theirs. as simple as that. but no need to be rude.

actually I don't think it should be a choice thing. Not unless there is a real medical reason for wanting a csection.

the procedure is more expensive, it is more risky, the only reason women seem to feel they have a choice is because the procedure is available.

I think if there is a genuine medical need for a csection then of course it should be made available, but I think that if there are steps that can be taken to avoid it they should.

why don't people who decide to have a vb have counselling too? anything can happen there too as well as with a cs.

Thank you for responding to that Ema.

I absolutely defend your decision to have a CS and I hope I didn't make you feel that I was suggesting counselling in order to persuade you to try a VB.

However, I do think that you might be wise to think about birth not just as the bit when they cut you open and take the baby out, iyswim. I'd suggest that counselling might help because you might go into labour early, and quickly, as wannabe suggests - it might be good to talk that through with someone.

When I had my date for my section, I must admit that my big worry was that I would go into a breech delivery naturally and by the time I got to the hospital it would be too late to do anything about it.

ema, what will happen if you go into early labour? iirc if you have a csection planned and you go into labour you will not be given an emergency csection and may have to give birth naturally. I know someone this happened to.

You are deluded if you think you really have control over your body, because you really don't.

..and in response to that last question, I'd suggest exactly the same to anyone who had a phobia about CS. Or anything else.

no ema, never mind comparing the more dangerous C/S to the less dangerous VB as if they're equally safe, that's what you've been doing all day.
just answer the question. what will you do if you do go into labour? do you think you should prepare in some way? perhaps with counselling?

I got a kicking on mn for saying I wanted a c-section the other day so I totally sympathise with the OP.

I never wanted one until I tried and failed to give birth au naturel 3 years ago and ended up having an emergency c-section.

I am now very scared about birth - something which I never was before. I spoke to the midwife about this and she has referred me to the consultant, who I'll be seeing next week. I was relieved that they took me seriously.

I know next time might be different etc etc, once bitten etc.

I know so many women who've had c-sections - especially oldies like me and don't really understand why it's so wrong to want to have one. Especially if you have major fears about birth or have had a nasty birth experience.

Maybe I'm just weird.

I guess it depends on the definition of genuine reasons.

A breech birth is not impossible. But that (plus PE) was the reason I had my section.

Ema - your point about counselling for chosing a vb... people dont often sit and insist that they HAVE to have a VB and wont do it any other way

wannabe - i am going to have regular scans after 30 weeks so i can keep a check on the baby and it's position that is always a good indication and my cons. put my mind at rest about that. they can also tell by the cervix and can do a scan for that. i have to pay for the scans which is fine.

Ema, I would like to respond to WannaBe's point (21:48)

There is a chance you will go into labour. You do need to consider this. DS's due date was 30th May. So CS planned for 23rd...

But a show on 15th led to a CS on 17th...

these things do move.... It's not a massive issue, just one you need to make sure your consultant is aware of so that he appreciates how important a CS is to you

It is, however painful, something you should consider now, though.

What a load of bollocks. My fanny is just as pristine as it was before DS (BTW loving the term "pristine" when applied to a fanny, giving me images of it sparkling like a disco ball) and my boobies are still perky after breastfeeding (and they are rather on the large side so I assumed they'd be down by my knees by now ) It was the pregnancy that changed my body (finding it hard to lose the weight and have stretch marks), not giving birth or breastfeeding.
For the record, CS or VB, I couldn't care less how anyone else gives birth.

Ema76 - don't let the bullies get to you.
It's still a free country (sort of)

i do not want to discuss going into labour early as just don't need the stress. i've had stress from other things recently and just could do without it at the moment.

most people on their first pregnancy, esp if they are kept an eagle eye on, in case, do not go into labour incredibly early unless there is something amiss. my cons did put my mind at rest there and (as we all know labour is not usually like it is in the soaps) he said that i would be down for a cs automatically, yes emergencies would come first i accept that.

how many weeks pg are you?

That's not what I meant, really, Ema - labour doesn't usuallly just start... there are usually indications (or shows) beforehand...

If you can discuss those, then you will be able to spot 'early warning signs' and do something about it.

This is what happeneed to me.

"wannabe - i am going to have regular scans after 30 weeks so i can keep a check on the baby and it's position that is always a good indication and my cons.
put my mind at rest about that. they can also tell by the cervix and can do a scan for that. i have to pay for the scans which is fine." you're going to have these scans daily are you? because really, the cervix doesn't change that slowly. I went into labour at 12:30 at night and by 3:00 I was at the hospital with contractions 2 mins apart and 9 cm dilated. And that was my first baby. Oh and I'd seen the obstitrician that morning and there was no dilation or even any sign that labour was iminent - in fact she booked me in for induction 10 days later.

Actually most first babies are late - most people I know were nearly a week overdue.

Your consultant sounds like a lovely man - you sound lucky to have him.

yes youcannotbeserious, i will investigate the very early signs and will be seeing my cons again. also like i said i will be having reg scans to check position and having wellbeing scans to check baby.

I wonder to what extent the people who insist that they "have" to have a CS for psychological reasons feel able to do this because they know that CS is an option.

What would happen it became possible to grow a baby in a incubator somewhere instead of in your body. No doubt there would then be loads of people who just couldnt carry a baby themselves/always knew it would be impossible/mum had a terrible pregnancy.

I think it is disapointing that NICE appears to have encouraged this situation of women demanding C-Sections for little or no clinical reason (not talking about the OP here because we know nothing about them really).

i know mslucy i am.

thank you for your comments wannabe - life is never straight forward but i'll do as much as i can do, nothing wrong with that.

both my girls were 38 weekers.

scans every week.

even if you do pay for them, again in the NHS, even with a phobia, that just seems bizarre unless there is medical cause - pre-eclampsia, poor or too much growth, possible breech or placenta previa, etc.

both my girls were 38 weekers.

scans every week.

even if you do pay for them, again in the NHS, even with a phobia, that just seems bizarre unless there is medical cause - pre-eclampsia, poor or too much growth, possible breech or placenta previa, etc.