BIRTH TRAUMA SUPPORT THREAD.

[VictorianSqualor]

As has come up on a number of threads, many of us seem to have suffered from birth trauma.

It's all well and good knowing facts and figures, which of course, can ease our fears slightly, but with every birth having a chance of going severely wrong, adding that to birth trauma issues is going to convince us that we could be in whatever small percentage of people do suffer from our fears.

This thread is to help us come to terms with what happened during our previous births that left us with these emotional scars and to support each other through the journeys that we will go through in both our minds and possible future/current pregnancies.

There have been previous threads on which people have oupoured their experiences but acknowledgement and discussion is more than each of us telling our own experiences, so I ask that not only do we tell our own stories but we acknowledge other's and help them to discuss their past too.

Giving birth should be a calm, and beautiful thing, not one full of fear and panic.

TinkerBellesMum, you don't need to tell me about it - I used to work in a genetics lab specialising in inherited disorders. Every healthy baby really is a miracle. It's something many people don't appreciate - just how much can, and does, go very wrong at every step of the way.

Cote - I had 3 sections and yes, I was sore but with some volteral could sit and laugh etc and within a week was fine.

I do get angry going to the hospital and seeing all the mothers gathered around the entrance smoking. It always seems to be those of us who do everything "right" that have problems.

cote, having an elective section (even though it was earlier than planned) was SO different from a crash section. I had no contractions so muscles weren't worn out and tissues all puffy like with ds1. In fact, when ds2 was 2 days old I wheeled him all the way down the hall in his little rolling crib to get his picture made. I had planned to have my mother come and help out like she did after ds1 but it turned out that dh and my mother got a terrible stomach virus while I was in the hospital. So after ds2 and I came home I had to just step up and take care of the two of us as we could have no contact whatsoever with anyone sick. And it really was OK. I did take my pain meds the first week b/c it's easier to stay out of pain than to get in pain and then get relief iykwim, but all in all it was just fine. If I were younger and did pregnancy better I would have no qualms about going for number 3.

Saintriven, firstly, am so sorry for what you went through.

DD is healthy but like you, i have flashbacks sometimes to when she was born and i was stuck in bed after a c-section cos i was tired and in pain. I also look at pg mothers and think, they have no idea of the hell that awaits them.

I hope you get some answers.

Tonight is the first time i've been able to sit down and look up anything to do with birth trauma on the net. I had no idea that there was such a lot of support and informaion out there. How stupid am i? to have battled alone for 9 months since the terrible birth of my dd with only antidepressants and infinite anger to offer me cold comfort.I will be watching this thread with interest from now on.

Welcome Shellbelle, Ds1 was 6 months old before I even knew that one could have PTSD from birth trauma. I was lucky to have a good friend who is also a therapist. She didn't treat me of course, but was instrumental in helping me figure out what to do and where to go for help.

welcome shellbelle, Like jabberwocky, I had PTSD that went undiagnosed till someone on mumsnet told me about it. I was also unaware that it could happen as a result of birth. then later depression. Hope we can help n any way. I am kinda sporadic on here, but there are always so many lovely ladies to talk to.

jabberwocky - Which painkillers did you take after c-section and were you breastfeeding? All they gave me in hospital in the days after birth was paracetamol, which I was popping like candy and it wasn't doing anything.

Hi, joining this thread very late but watching with great interest, but do forgive me if I have missed out on the most pertinent posts.

From personal experience, and suffered from PN PTSD it is possible to overcome a lot of the fear around childbirth.

I had a very traumatic first birth, and only when I became pregnant 10 years later was I diagnosed with PN PTSD. Until this diagnosis I thought I was going off my rocker, such were the feelings of despair that overwhelmed me from the moment my 2nd pg was confirmed.

However I sought help very early on, and from about 16 weeks received weekly sessions with a Clinical Psychologist who specialised in Obstetrics, met with anaesthetists, midwives, obtetricians - basically anyone whio could help me understand what went wrong in my first birth and help me process that information, as I mentally 'shut down' after the birth. My greatest feat was a CS, so I focussed on having a birth that was the complete opposite of my first, a waterbirth without any intervention (including drugs). Of course, I had discussed the other scenarios that may have meant I needed a CS, but by the time I was 38 weeks and still breech, I felt I was armed with enough information that if I needed one, I would (reluctantly) have one.

Luckily, my baby turned and was able to have my planned birth - just me, my husband and a midwife. No noise, no machines, no monitors, no drips, no catheters, no humiliation fear or distress.

Of course, I was lucky enough for my birth to be pretty straight forward, but there are so many means of support out there for you ladies that are going though this at the momemt. This thread for one. I wish you all the best of luck, and hope you all get the support that you need.

Just joining the post with my story.

The things that upset me about my birth were:
ventouse delivery decided upon by medical staff without discussion with me/husband and without explanation of why necessary. My husband overheard a member of staff say they urgently needed a labour room and I found out later the ward had been closed to new arrivals as they were full. I thought it was an emergency at the time so didn't put up as much of a fight as I would next time. My son was born with an agpar score of 9 and 10 after 5 minutes so not sure if there really was an emergency. Unfortunately though his head had a huge lump on it where it was bruised.
Secondly, after he was born the umbillical cord was immediately cut despite my birth plan requesting that it was left to pulsate and cut later by my husband. The staff then insisted on inserting a drip for a managed delivery when my birthplan had stated I wanted a natural delivery unless I was bleeding heavily (and I wasn't!). I protested but they put the drip in. They guy then tugged away down below - I had no idea what he was doing until he cursed and I saw that the umbillical cord was loose - it had snapped. Next thing I felt was excutiating pain - he had his arm inside me up to the elbow (I hadn't had an epidural and the gas and air had been taken away from me before the birth so no benefit of painkillers!). He was fishing out my placenta with his hand and it came out in bits so he had to keep going back in for more!

My trauma relates not so much to these events but the aftermath (and importantly, the consequences.

Noone has ever explained to me why the ventouse delivery or the 'managed' (or rather mismanaged) delivery of the placenta were necessary - no post-birth bedside chat for example. Also, my son's head was pulled out of shape from the ventouse and a year later is still not perfect - it makes me mad that instruments are used so flippantly when they can cause so much damage and the staff don't even bother to explain why they are necessary and get consent! My son was very unsettled for the first few months - always wanting to be held, rarely sleeping for long etc. I suspect anyone with their head so distorted would be getting headaches so not surprising really.

Hospital antenatal classes unfortunately give a glossy image of childbirth - I think they can be a bit of a public relations exercise for the hospital rather than an honest preparation for the birth. Also, we all get encouraged to write birth plans, supposedly so the staff know our wishes and we don't have to be articulate about voicing them when in the throes of labour. However, I had to keep speaking up to make my wishes known because they took no notice of the birthplan and obviously hadn't read it! I think if this happens to other people too then what is the point in misleading people in antenatal classes - if I had known I was wasting my time I wouldn't have bothered writing a birth plan!

I also wonder whether my fertility is affected by the way in which the placenta was removed. I'm trying for another one now (I've not been put off childbirth, but I will be much wiser next time!) however, I keep getting strange pains and no luck with a pregnancy so I do wonder what they did to me. I bled for over ten weeks after the birth which I don't think is particularly normal.

As far as I am concerned I had unnecessary interventions which have resulted in some long-term damage to my son and perhaps me too. It is very difficult to have any control over this in the labour room and I think that is the thing which worries me about any subsequent labours - it is difficult to know if the midwives/doctors want to intervene or do certain procedures because they honestly think it is essential or because they are more comfortable doing things their way and it would enable them to get things done more quickly and conveniently.

Has anyone thought about having a doula in the labour room to keep them in check? Not sure if a doula would be much help with this or not?!

CoteDAzur I was given oramporph or paracetamol every four hours (oramorph works for 30 minutes, so guess what I was going with) if I was on the ward. I think because I got the blues they were over strict with me about pain meds. Most women at that hospital get a SMACS (self medication after CS) box with a mixture of all manner of pain killers in and they take what they need, keeping record of it. I've spoken to the M&B unit and they think that I'm not a risk and there's no reason why I should be denied self medication.

cote, I'm embarrassed to say I can't remember the name of the painkiller but it was definitely prescription and yes, I did breastfeed while on it. I'll poke around and see if I can find anything with the name on it.

Welcome to McMidget and uglybugly. I'm running a bit short on time but just wanted to mention plagio helmet therapy to McMidget. Ds1 had a very misshapen head as a result of being frank breech for 6 - 8 weeks. We were able to mostly correct it with positioning therapy but that is a window only open for the first few months. At a year your opportunity for helmet/banding is also rapidly coming to a close. I would highly recommend getting an evaluation. There are so many MNers on here that didnt' do it and now regret it. At least two that I know of have considered surgical correction later down the road but that is such a scarier alternative. You can do a search under my name and plagiocephaly for more info.

Don't these painkillers pass into breastmilk and affect the baby in some way?

Ok, I feel better knowing that there are strong painkillers out there that I can take after a c-section which will not hurt the baby.

There are definitely some safe ones out there - don't let them tell you otherwise! I had painkillers with both births and bf both babies. I was also on Zoloft while bfing with both of them. It's one of the very few AD's that is definitely safe to use.

I was given Tramadol for my back (when she was older) and told not to use it after the morning feed I've since found it is one of the ones they give after a CS, it's the only thing ever touched the back pain. Orapmorph is great, tastes vile! Can take it every half hour but they don't send you home with it.

Have a look at lactmed.

Very VERY now that I was crying in pain day and night, suffering there like roadkill, and they didn't give me anything but paracetamol! Evil bastards. I hope they also get to suffer like I did, raw without meds

You should see what's in a SMACS box, you would be cross!

I don't know if such a thing exists here, but there would surely be something they could give me other than paracetamol.

Googled pain relief and after CS and one of our old threads came up with someone else having the same thing. Tried Googling SMACS and only my hospital's information sheet came up.

thanks for the welcome Ladies, Cote I was given oramorph after my emergency c-section and I breastfed dd from the start so i know its safe to take and far more effective than bloody paracetamol..what is it with this NHS drive to only prescribe paracetamol ?? After a recent double hernia op they tried to palm me off with just it well I was stronger and wiser this time and got my oramorph asap..fantastic stuff!!

Saintriven I have read your messages and want to offer my sympathy towards you and your family what a truly terrible and sad time it must have been for you all.

Tonite I scrolled back and read all of the messages and it really makes harrowing reading that so many of us are treated so appallingly at such a vulnerable time in our lives. It makes my blood boil. Something definitely needs to be done nationally to tackle this situation so that hopefully by the time our daughters give birth they arn't treated like us. I wouldn't wish what we suffered on my greatest enemy !

shelle, I would have happily lined up every 30 minutes for oramorph but they would only let me have pain relief every 4 hours. I decided at least paracetamol lasts 4 hours rather than just the first half hour.

Tinkerbellesmum When I left hosp no one told me how to organise taking my prescribed painkillers it was only after i was leaving a second time after being readmitted with post surgical complications that the ward sister took the trouble to explain to me that you keep up your regular 4-6 hourly doses of paracetamol and codeine but if during that time you feel any pain you top yourself up with the oramorph to deal with what she referred to as breakthrough pain. So yes it is short lived relief but it deals with pain that the more regular analgesics dont help.

They wouldn't give me the option unfortunately. I had a baby in the Unit and they were trying to push the NNU Mums out, two ways they did that was with holding medication and not saving food/ giving us a voucher for the canteen if we were on the Unit when food came. They asked every four hours (if you were there) "paracetamol or oramorph". I was never given a SMACS box so I was totally at their mercy.

This time I'm more prepared. My nurse therapist says there is no reason for me to not self medicate (he said normal nurses think every mental health patient is looking for the nearest plate glass to jump through) as I'm not a suicide risk so I will ask, get Mum/TBD to ask and if they say no I'll get them to contact my nurse and I'll be paying a visit to the PALS lady (who knows me quite well now lol)