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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

have you forgotten the pain?

165 replies

skerriesmum · 02/02/2005 14:40

Can hardly believe my ds is 2 today! Snuggling him this morning I thought back to the first time I ever held him and how wonderful that was, but also how most of that was just the pure relief that the birth was over! I do want more children sometime but I will never be one of those women who say "sure it hurts but you forget once you want another". I will never forget! What do you all think? (BTW birth fairly routine, needed ventouse but not overly long.)

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lowcalCOD · 02/02/2005 17:39

no the thing is that you know what the pain is like adn how to manage it and that it ends a dn you push better

colinsmommy · 02/02/2005 17:40

Yes I have. I had a completely natural childbirth (too far gone by the time I got to the hospital) that lasted 3 hours. I remember it hurt so much I didn't sleep for almost 48 hours afterward, because every time I closed my eyes I could only think of the pain. I never thought I would forget it, but now looking back all I can remember is that it was really painful, but can't remember how it felt.

jessicasmummy · 02/02/2005 17:41

what pain??? (joy of an induction followed by epidural!)

ThomCat · 02/02/2005 17:48

I can recall it all very well but am another one that actually quite enjoyed the whole process. Didn't feel the need for any pain relief and never felt out of control or scared or anything.
As long as the next time was like the first time I'll have no complaints.

FineFigureFio · 02/02/2005 17:49

yes i have forgot thank goodness

charleypops · 02/02/2005 18:01

Can the pain be equated with anything else? like really really bad period pain for instance, or really really bad constipation?

Tinker · 02/02/2005 18:46

charleypops - I asked the midwife that when I'd just started with more painful contactions - "Will it just be like really, really bad period pains?" The look on her face just said "How do I tell her?" Then she said that if you do have very painful periods the labour is often shorter. Don't know if she was just thinking on her feet but I did have an extremely painful but short labour. And, I'd have done it again within 24 hours.

moondog · 02/02/2005 18:55

lol at the thought of that m/w working out how to break the news to you!
No, I remember the pain but what affected me more was the psychological impact of having a baby. Like being beaten around the head non stop with a hammer for about 3 mths (and no, I wasn't depressed!)
Although no 2's birth was probably just as painful the psychological impact was minimal. Was up and about doing my normal stuff within a week or so (and even moved house without dh when baby was 4 weeks old!)

bathmummy · 02/02/2005 18:59

The physical pain and trauma goes away but the emotional stuff stays with you longer. I guess that is why coping with a second seems easier as you tend to be more emotionally prepared.

charleypops · 02/02/2005 19:05

and Tinks!

kama · 02/02/2005 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ThomCat · 03/02/2005 10:26

Charleypops, the first early stage of contractions could be described as very bad period pains, but then no nothing else compares.
Your natural endorphines will kick in though and you'll feel in a world of your own, a place no-one else can penetrate. You and your body will tell you what needs to be done.

northerner · 03/02/2005 10:33

For me, it was the pain and discmfort afterwards that I'll ne ver forget. Thanks to a huge episiotomy, failed ventouse, and forceps.

pupuce · 03/02/2005 10:35

I remember that I hated the pain but no I don't remember the pain itself and seeing all these women in labour does not remind me of the pain either.

I wonder if when you guys say you remember the pain, do you mean you do really remember or like me you remember that you found it very painful?

skerriesmum · 03/02/2005 10:48

I guess the second one, that I remember it was very painful. ThomCat my endorphins didn't kick in!

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ThomCat · 03/02/2005 10:50

Oh! Sorry to hear that skerriesmum! xx

Lowryn · 03/02/2005 10:51

I will never forget the strange feeling that is the urge to push. That's not a bad feeling.
My first birth was horrendous and I can only recall the fact that I screamed a lot, but not the pain that I felt.
Also as soon as DD was out I was 100 percent pain free!

Mothernature · 03/02/2005 10:57

I have forgotten the pain I had with ds1 it is all a blur, but I do remember the twins being born @ 30 weeks, ds2 'out' after much straining and pain relive, all systems shut down....37 mins later I'm going through it all again with dd, so many people in the same room and so many needles in my arms and other places, finally silence no one, just me and my ds2, dd was taken into special care for breathing difficulties, apparently she looked like a butterball turkey compared to the others in there..I don't think I could do it again I really think I would not survive the trauma.

jenkel · 03/02/2005 11:11

I was dreading the birth of my 2nd after my first experience. Was induced and was climbing the walls in pain within about half an hour, had an epidrual after swearing that I never would, but there was no way I was going to cope with 16 hours of that.

In my experience the 2nd was completley different, yes it did hurt but no where near the intensity of my first labour.

skerriesmum · 03/02/2005 11:15

That's encouraging! I know number 2 isn't always easier for everyone but I would think I could avoid the ventouse & episiotomy next time. And from all the pushing ds's blood sugar was depleted so he was in the nicu for 5 days.

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dinosaur · 03/02/2005 11:21

No, and I'm bloody glad I don't have to go th rough it again EVER. 3 is enough.

Carla · 03/02/2005 11:21

God Lowryn, that brings it back! I remember thinking 'hang on, it doesn't hurt any more'. It was a good 5 seconds before realising it was because I'd given birth! I certainly will never forget the pain and the m/w telling me that the contractions you feel as you first try to b/f get worse with each and every subsequent baby .....

NameChangingMancMidlander · 03/02/2005 11:24

No I haven't forgotten the pain (2.5years ago), but for me the 3 hour intensely painful labour was totally utterly immeasurably eclipsed by the feelings I've had since giving birth to her. Soppy, I know.

Chandra · 03/02/2005 11:30

Forgotten the pain??? the pain and so many other things! my memory has become very unreliable since pregnancy, if I were slightly older I would be diagnosed with Alzheimers. My labour lasted about 27 hrs and believe me, I remember that it hurt but to what extent...I don't. The wonderful mechanisms of nature I supose

Tessiebear · 03/02/2005 11:32

Havnt read all the other posts (so am probably repeating someone) but just wanted to say that as a mum who is pregnant with no3. - i have been reassured that YES the pain is just as bad but it is over a LOT quicker!!!! (here's hoping!!)

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