Overwhelmed - Husband is against getting induced!

[kakashixxkillua]

Hi all! I'm currently 38w+0d today. We went to see a hospital consultant recently as my baby was plotting as big in the growth scans - 96th percentile. Note, I have no health risk or underlying medical issues, it's just baby is** measuring too large. The hospital consultant strongly urged I opt for either an induction or an elective c section, I went for the induction. It's all booked in for 39w (next Monday). DH couldn't make it to this appointment and so when I filled him in he was furious as he's anti medical interventions, alongside his entire family. My MIL is also very opinionated on my decision

Anyways, was just looking for some positive induction stories from you guys as I've been around a lot of negativity and criticism recently and started to regret my choice. Or is there a way I can naturally induce myself before 39w?

Thanks x

I was induced at 41+2 (some question over the recorded due date though)

This was after a sweep that did nothing.

I went into hospital at 8am and was monitored. Before this, they did another scan as id had reduced movements and were concerned with low birth weight. They explained that it was start off with a suppository, followed by a second one, then move onto a drip and then (I think).c section if previous steps didn't work. Midwife basically said I wouldn't be leaving until baby was born.

Had the first suppository at midday, was uncomfortable as the cervix was tight and couldn't get it in without a bit of jigging about. No more uncomfortable than a smear. They said to do as I pleased as long as I didn't leave hospital grounds. I went for a few walks, up and down the stairs sideways and had some food in the canteen. I read my book in the hospital gardens too.

At 445pm I had an internal. Again not painful and they said the first suppository hadn't worked so would go ahead with the second at 6pm. I went for another walk and up and down the stairs. About half hour later, I had a bit of tummy ache, similar to how it feels when you have an upset stomach. Went to the toilet and had a loose bowel movement. Went and lay on the bed. Midwife came again at 6 and asked I was feeling. Explained what had happened and that my tummy was hurting. She did another internal and I was 4cm dilated at 615pm. She said as long as I was ok, I didn't need to move to labour ward.

Another internal at 730pm and I was 7cm so moved up to delivery. Started on gas and air. At 750pm I needed the toilet. Went for a wee and started pushing,.Midwife told off and told me to stop as not ready. Did another internal and she realised I was actually ready to push. Started pushing at 8pm and he was born 807pm. As baby started crowning, she realised my waters were still intact so burst them for me. Didn't feel this either. Baby had a big head and I ended up tearing which is apparently preferable to having to be cut as its easier to stitch back together. They apparently lost count of how many stitches but it also included a finger up the back passage to check for internal tearing, there was none!

Start to end was 2 hours 7 minutes. The whole thing was my quickest and least painful birth. Not at all scary and felt completely safe and cared for at all times. The tearing stung more than hurt and once he was out, the pain faded pretty quick.

What would be bothering me from your post is that your Husband is against the medical intervention but what would happen if you went into labour naturally and for whatever reason, needed an emergency surgery, would he try and stop this? I know the Doctors etc would override it but it would weigh on my mind.

Why is he so against induction and medical intervention? Religious reasons?

I've had two babies: first natural and second induced. The induction was by far the better experience. The natural birth ended with lots of medical intervention. I had two healthy happy babies, but natural was not better than induction for me.

I was induced with my first and only child due to movement issues.

I had a pessary, about 4 hours later I felt like I had period pain. From start to end was just under 17 hours. I only had gas and air it was so straight forward I was shocked.

I'd only heard the bad, the doctors and midwives told me I would be there for days etc and it would probably end in a c section.
Went in at 5pm on a Saturday was home for about 10am on the Monday.

My husband supported my decisions, it's your body and surely he just wants a healthy baby and wife/partner in the end 🤔

Hello, for medical reasons I was induced 2 weeks early with my first of 3 babies, it was hands down the best out of all 3 births, I felt totally in control and they talked me through everything every step of the way, the other 2 were ‘natural’ births and I felt scared and out of control. Please don’t worry about being induced.

As for your husband and his family, they need to sod off!! Your body, your choice. Listen to what the medical professionals are telling you.

I feel sad for you as this should be an exciting time for you. Wishing you all the luck in the world x

Not his body , not his choice and his mother can keep her opinions to herself . I’d have opted for the c section personally . Like other posters I’m concerned about what his views are on vaccines .

What does he mean no medical interventions? So if baby needs oxygen or blood or god forbid CPR he's just going to stand there and say no?
I take it he doesn't have anaesthetic at the dentist or any medical treatment then? Or is this just for labour for you?
He can make his decision when he gives birth can't he?

When your husband is pregnant, he can go against medical advice as much as he wants.

This is your body and your health. Do what you need to do to keep you and your baby safe and well, which is probably to go with the medical advice.

Fuck what they think! It’s your body OP.

I had four inductions between the ages of 35 and 41.I had fully intended to have a "natural" home birth, until the reality of giving birth at home, a long way from hospital, hit home. I had all my babies in hospital, and it was infinitely less stressful than home would have been. I had dimmed lights, music, lovely midwives and skin to skin contact for ages. Please listen to the medical advice and disregard family opinions.

I think its perfectly acceptable to have a discussion with your partner about how your baby will be born. Because if the reason they hold a different opinion is fear then maybe that can be allayed rather than banning him from the birth leaving the mother even more unsupported. Or even leaving the relationship as some people are suggesting.

Just like I had a conversation with my partner about conception. I didn't just stop using contraception because it was all going to be happening to my body. We actually discussed it like adults.

I've had one induction, one with no intervention and one C section.

The induction and the one with no intervention were much the same tbh.

Your husband has no idea what he's talking about.

I had induction 2 weeks early for same reason. Baby healthy (he's now 21), me healthy, zero problem.

Having experienced a close relative having a stillbirth at term, the main priority for me was that my DC were delivered safe and well. This should be everyone involved in your labour’s priority.

I was induced with both of mine, as I went over the due date by more than a week each time and the doctors wanted to induce me before two weeks over when the risks of stillbirth are higher. DS was eleven pounds and I didn’t have any medical interventions or drugs aside from the induction, but it would have been no problem if I had. Main thing, he came out safely. With DD, I had used gas and air but it really did not agree with me.
With both DC, it took about 24 hours exactly from the start of the induction to delivery.

I am going to presume that the doctor recommending an induction or c-section is more trained than your DH and his mother.

Your body, your decision.

Nothing to do with your dh or his family.

Beware of dh and his family trying to control how you look after the baby, particularly wrt to feeding and immunisations

So he’s anti intervention…would ask him where this ends then. So if you go into labour spontaneously and then happen to need assistance if baby gets stuck, is he going to opt to let you both die? Because that’s how serious it gets OP, this is why childbirth was so dangerous before we had modern medicine and protocols for doctors and midwives to intervene and help.

When men evolve to give birth then they get a say in what happens. And his mother can shut her mouth too. Do what the doctors think is safest, they went to medical school not your husband.

Just sigh, smile, say “yes, I suppose if you were a woman and pregnant you might feel that way!” And continue as you were.

Tell him that when it’s him giving birth then he can decide but it’s your body and you’ll be doing what the doctors advise.
I worry about you and your child once born- won’t they be allowed ‘medical intervention’ if they are ill?

Your DH is a dickhead tell him and his shit family to mind their own business

My friend was induced and it didn't work so they had to do an emergency c section.

No intervention so what leave the baby inside you to die.

Idiot.

MIL obviously has had a baby inside her body at least once 😂

Tell him to go to the doc and say he doesn’t want this and watch the doc rip him a new one

it’s your body not his and he’s risking you and the baby with this bullshit

It is your body, not his. Take the advice of the consultant. Is he against modern medical interventions in general, or just when it involves risking the lives of his wife and baby?

You should be asking for advice on your controlling husband, let me guess he doesn't believe in pain relief at all?

Let me guess, he's anti-vax, too.

God, what a fucking dickhead. Without my “medical intervention” of an elective c-section my DC would have almost definitely died at birth and my life would also have been at risk.

I certainly don’t want to give you a hard time when you are so vulnerable but please tell him to FUCK OFF stand up to him and do what’s best from your own research and the advice from the medical professionals. I’d then look at seriously leaving him. I can’t think of a single decent bloke that would put his wife and unborn child at risk like this.