Overwhelmed - Husband is against getting induced!

[kakashixxkillua]

Hi all! I'm currently 38w+0d today. We went to see a hospital consultant recently as my baby was plotting as big in the growth scans - 96th percentile. Note, I have no health risk or underlying medical issues, it's just baby is** measuring too large. The hospital consultant strongly urged I opt for either an induction or an elective c section, I went for the induction. It's all booked in for 39w (next Monday). DH couldn't make it to this appointment and so when I filled him in he was furious as he's anti medical interventions, alongside his entire family. My MIL is also very opinionated on my decision

Anyways, was just looking for some positive induction stories from you guys as I've been around a lot of negativity and criticism recently and started to regret my choice. Or is there a way I can naturally induce myself before 39w?

Thanks x

To be fair indications for large babies, if there are no other risk factors, are unnecessary. Your baby isn’t going to grow much more in that week or two and inductions can lead to more other medical interventions than natural births.

Anecdotally, I was advised indication for both mine as they were measuring 97th percentile but I had no other risk factors. After looking into it, I declined. 9lbs 7oz and 9lbs 11oz birthed naturally with no pain relief other than tens machine and birthing pool. I practiced hypnobirthing.

Of course it’s your choice but I’d look into it more. If you still choose an induction at least you’ll have reasons why for your husband and he should respect that decision. Do what you think is best for you, not just what a consultant or your husband says.

Pros of Induction for a Large Baby

Reduced Risk of Complications: i.e Induction can lower the risk of shoulder dystocia, a condition where the baby’s shoulder gets stuck during delivery.

Birth Injuries: It can also reduce the risk of fractures and other birth injuries that might occur during a vaginal delivery of a large baby.

Controlled Environment: Induction allows for labour to occur in a controlled environment with medical professionals on hand to manage any complications that arise.

Planned Timing: It provides the opportunity to plan the timing of the birth, which can be beneficial for both the medical team and the parents.

Prevention of Further Growth: By inducing labour, the baby is prevented from growing larger, which can make the delivery process easier and safer.

Maternal Health: Quite frankly, just thinking about giving birth to a large baby brings tears to my eyes!

Reduced Strain: A large baby can put additional strain on the mother’s body, leading to complications such as high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. Induction can help mitigate these risks.

Considerations: While there are benefits, it’s important to discuss the potential risks and individual circumstances with your healthcare provider, as I am sure you have. I can appreciate your husband may be unhappy he wasn't there to hear it and that he won't be at the induction but ultimately you are supposed to be the love of his life and your care should be paramount.

This is your body and your child's body. Tell DH to butt out.

I had an ex like this!

My advice is do some research. Find out the pro and cons of both options. Leaving it to give birth to a potentially larger baby or the problems and positives of induction. The aim is a healthy baby and a healthy mum.

Personally, I'm in the natural as possible camp and I had four easy home births - however I listened to those caring for me and if there had been any doubts on how safe my choice was I'd have listened to their view and taken it seriously.

As for speeding up labour- try raspberry leaf. I'm certain it contributed to my easy births, I took it in tablet form for the final three months . Other people I know took it in the last couple weeks as a tea and are convinced it helped start labour.

I 've had 2 inducrions due to increased risk factors.

Both times I was inducted late on a Wednesday and baby was born on the Friday. The first induction I had the 24hr pessary and my waters then broke naturally. They still decided to give me the hormone drip due to blood in waters. It was a fairly intense labour...was my first. I ended up with a vaginal birth, no complications, little tearing. Pain relief was diamorphone (really don't recommend this...didn't help with pain but made me horrifically sick then very dehydrated).

2nd induction was much easier...24hr pessary triggered natural labour. Pain relief was my tens machine...which honestly REALlLY worked for me the second time round all the way to the end.

I fought against induction but conceded in the end on the basis of NiCE guidelines and the support of an amazing community midwife who totally respected my opinions and talked me through options.

My biggest advice for induction is be prepared for a lengthy stay...often a hospital will start the induction process with the aim to get you dilated enough to break your waters. They won't actually do that untill they have space in delivery (unless more urgent medical need). Consultants are very pushy to book you in for induction but once you are in they aren't that bothered with a timely delivery. Both times I jumped the queue due to spontaneous waters/labour but other people around me waited a lot longer.

Good luck whatever you choose. remember you can change your mind at any point. Ultimately your body your decision. I hope it all goes smoothly.

The beauty of being heavily pregnant is that everything you say to anyone in the next few weeks can be dismissed after the event and put down to hormones, so you can absolutely go to town on your DH and MIL, they can fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more, until there are no more fucks to give.

Anti medical intervention ?, is that what they are going to say as your eulogy , Oh @kakashixxkillua was so brave, she died rather than accept any medical intervention, utter knobs the pair of them ! you do whatever you need to do to give birth to a lovely baby and ignore their batshittery !

Then he can make this choice on his own body when he gives birth.

Oh God, if he's against medical intervention I'd almost want to ban him from the room when you give birth. I mean (God forbid!) something goes wrong and he has to make decisions about your or the baby's care - do you really want him doing that?

And if the family are also against vaccinations then I'd be running for the hills.

He needs telling that he either gets on board with your choice and medical advice or he stays the fuck away from the birth.
He also needs to sort his anger issues.
I have 2 positive induction stories. Both ended with c section. But so what? It was a positive experience as my babies were healthy and so was I.
Good luck!

It seems you have married into 1650 or thereabouts.
You do whatever is required to produce a baby with the least risk to it or you. It is also the least risk to you being able to enjoy a normal intimate life after. Also the least risk of damage to subsequent children.

I had an induction at 37+3 in February this year as had pre-eclampsia and both me and baby were getting unwell. I was induced via pessary which was a bit uncomfortable to get inserted but nothing worse than a smear. Baby was born within 6 hours of insertion. No intervention, no stitches, no epidural (which I wanted to avoid as personal preference) and was sent home with my baby on the same day once my blood pressure settled. I would 100% opt for induction again if offered. You can still have boundaries, for me, I wanted minimal internal exams and if it looked like I wasn’t making progress and needed the drip, I was going to have a c-section which the midwives were aware of.

I was induced with my first, and the only bit that was unpleasant was the drip (which you won’t need if the pessaries work!)

I found it really well managed and peaceful. Also because inductions are booked in, there was no chaos around arrival or examinations, and the ward was well staffed. Physically I felt tired because I struggled to sleep in the hospital but there was no additional pain, stress or complications for me or baby.

When planning birth, I’d also been anxious about ‘knowing’ when it was time to go in, having never been in labour before, and worried about waiting too long and not being able to get in a taxi vs being sent home for going too soon!

So although I was disappointed that I needed an induction at first, it was actually wonderful to just check in to hospital and be absolutely confident this was ‘it’ and I’d be leaving with my baby!

As an aside though, I was told this baby was small on scans but he was 8lb2 in the end! So not sure how accurate these things are.

I hope it goes well for you, however you give birth.

I’m so sorry your husband is not on your side with this, but try to just focus your thoughts on yourself. We’ll be thinking of you here X

How dare anyone judge you.

YOUR body, YOUR decision.

I was induced as growth scans showed my baby had stopped growing. I ended up needing a C-Section and have positive feelings about both xx

Your body your choice. Don’t let them push you into something you don’t want. And I agree with pp who said do you really want him as a birth partner if he has to make a decision about an intervention which could save your life?
I had gestational diabetes with my last pregnancy and was told baby was measuring big and they wouldn’t let me go overdue. The midwife agreed to a sweep at 38 weeks which induced labour within 24 hours. Might be worth a chat with your midwife if this is an option? For what it’s worth though baby was only 7lbs when born so not big at all and I kind of wish I had waited for things to start naturally

He can give you his opinion but he does not get the final say.

Try lots of different things - going to long walks, spicy food, sex, caster oil, pineapple etc as these things are meant to help (I did them all apart from sex because I was single and they didn’t work for me).

But if it doesn’t work then carry on with the induction.

You may have to have an emergency c-section.

I would consider whether there is someone better suited to be your birthing partner and who will take your wishes into account if you need emergency treatment.

I would trust the experts especially when it comes to something so important.

I was induced for my 2nd child as first was big .
It was fine . Baby arrived healthy and we were monitored very closely throughout.

My problems happened with my first who was over 10lb. No-one expected it and i was 42 weeks. 3 days labour forceps, c section , huge blood loss and blood transfusions.

It's very sensible that your doctors want to avoid those sort of scenarios. I was very poorly . Baby all fine 🙂

The good news is, as he's so against inductions, he doesn't have to have one if he doesn't want.

As for you - your body, your choice.

I would not allow a man or his family to decide the fate of my pregnancy, based on their BELIEFS, rather than medical advice, that’s based on FACTS and risk factors.

Idiots!! Love to you OP. Last thing you need. Find an ally in this - anyone.

In terms of a practical plan - deep breath, work out your patter, trot it out every single time someone has an opinion. Something like;

‘My baby is large, my consultant is concerned and has strongly advised an induction to keep our baby and me safe. Our safety is my only priority and I am taking that advice.’

Say it every single time and if he / she / they pursue the conversation ‘I’m not reconsidering the plan’. Move away from them if needed.

Obviously do all you can to self-induce - the best things from my friends’ very unscientific research is a lot of walking, moving and sex!

Tell them all to DO ONE.

How dare they interfere with your body and WHAT A BLOODY DOCTOR HAS TOLD YOU.

Have they done a decade in obsetrics? No they haven't have they? Then they can FO

In the meantime OP, I advise a huge box of pineapple from Tesco every day until the event.

Infact why not buy 3 boxes tomorrow and scoff the lot.

I found it worked a charm, two weeks before babies due I ate a big box of pineapple every day. One of those 600g boxes.

Baby one was 5 days before DD.
Baby two was on DD.

Seemed to work for me!

Well, we don know that inductions are usually the start to what we call the 'cascade of interventions'. You start with artificial ocitocyn which make your contractions stronger than they should be. You then opt for an epidural early, which causes contractions to slow down/ baby's heart rate to drop. Then the baby isn't out in the time frame they want so they do an emergency c sec. Or whatever the case may be.
Obviously this isn't always the case and sometimes inductions or C-sections can be a Godsend, but they are unfortunately way over used.

As pps have mentioned scans are also notoriously inaccurate. For example my son was measured to be 9 pounds (4.1 kg) just before birth. He was born a healthy 8 pounds 3 ounces. (3.8kg)

A big baby has a small risk of shoulder dystocia (which by the way can normally be rectified using the gaskin manoeuver - in Ina May Gaskin's birthing centre they had a 100% success rate with the Gaskin manoeuver. No baby with shoulder dystocia did not come out just fine once they did this). But you know what else has a risk of shoulder dystocia? Inductions!
And the often a mom will say oh I'm so glad we induced because baby got shoulder dystocia during birth so he was so big, we made the right decision! When in reality it was probably rather the induction that caused it.

. I am a midwife and have seen countless births and have had 3 of my own. You also have to remember that the NHS is generally understaffed and very stressed. Inductions are C-sections are easier to manage. That's unfortunately true. Wish it wasn't.
Obviously this is your and your husband choice, but I wouldn't induce for a perceived 'big baby'.
Unless you've broken your coccyx, most women cope wonderful with big babies❤️ especially in other less medicalised countries. A big baby isn't an emergency and doctors shouldn't be making you feel like it is.
Also with all due respect to pp, most of them no very little about birth and babies and are just regurgetating what they've heard somewhere. Obviously anecdotal experience is a great piece of info but I'm just saying some of the responses should be taken with a pinch of salt.

I’m a big fan of a planned c section. Given the size don’t you want to reconsider this?

Tell you husband to fuck off. Large baby - I’d be c sectioning it all the way. It’s your body. Your way. The fucking cheek of him.

This pretty much sums it up for me.

How do so many women end up with such unbelievable arseholes. Surely you knew what he was like before you got pregnant. I just don’t understand how women accept such low standards.
As others have said, this is controlling and borderline abusive. He has zero right to be furious. He can be curious, ask questions if he has some concerns but never furious.
So say you don’t go for the induction recommended by medical professionals and things go south, will he advocate for you if you are unconscious? If he is anti medical intervention will he be happy for dr’s to not perform an emergency c-section if your life or babies life are at risk? Not to be alarmist but both my labours ended in an emergency situation and had I not got medical intervention I’d be dead as would my children. Oh and when it was explained to me that I needed an emergency c-section and not the drug free water birth I wanted my husband said “you do what you think is best, you are the one going through this, I’ll be here whatever.” And that was the absolute correct response in that situation.
what if your child has appendicitis will he stop them from having surgery to save their life?
Let him and his mother put themselves at risk from their own ignorance but not you or your child.
if you don’t feel he’ll support you do not let him near you once in labour, get another supportive family or friend to be your birth partner.