Overwhelmed - Husband is against getting induced!

[kakashixxkillua]

Hi all! I'm currently 38w+0d today. We went to see a hospital consultant recently as my baby was plotting as big in the growth scans - 96th percentile. Note, I have no health risk or underlying medical issues, it's just baby is** measuring too large. The hospital consultant strongly urged I opt for either an induction or an elective c section, I went for the induction. It's all booked in for 39w (next Monday). DH couldn't make it to this appointment and so when I filled him in he was furious as he's anti medical interventions, alongside his entire family. My MIL is also very opinionated on my decision

Anyways, was just looking for some positive induction stories from you guys as I've been around a lot of negativity and criticism recently and started to regret my choice. Or is there a way I can naturally induce myself before 39w?

Thanks x

Maybe next time he should come to the appointment with you then? Im sorry he is being g really unhelpful. It is your body, your choice and why he is involving your MIL don't know.

Yes, definitely this OP. I’d honestly file for divorce and not have him anywhere near. You are so vulnerable during giving birth and need someone who cares about your wellbeing and will advocate for you. I’m so upset for you.

It's got nothing to do with him. Tell him if he has a problem with it he can stay home and you'll take someone else.

I quite enjoyed having an induction in a weird way. It felt more in control than natural Labour.

Your MIL got her choice when she had her own children. Your husband gets a choice when he grows and births his own child. You put your body and your baby first.

Wishing you all the luck for the birth and afterwards. And do not take any shit from him afterwards, he pulls his weight and realises the huge and wonderful thing you've done.

My babies wouldn't have been born alive without medical intervention so imagine if I was against it 🤨 what a fucking idiot he is and I'm sorry you are having to deal with a thick twat

My friends partner was like your husband and ny friend nearly died giving birth as her partner prevented her from going to hospital until nearly too late: it’s abuse. You need to get out of that relationship

Show him some articles on shoulder dystocia.

My son was big (10lb4oz) and he got stuck during delivery and was left with erbs palsy.

You are giving birth and all decisions are yours. He does not get a say. Its not his body. He's not the one taking all the risks.

And his mother sure as shit gets no vote!

Talk to your midwife. Make sure your wishes are known and that you may need them to advocate for you if your husband starts.

It's nothing to do with him, I agree with everyone else. You have made a decision based on what is best for you and baby, and based on what your doctor suggested.

I wouldn't have him at the birth. I'd rather have someone supportive. FWIW I had my last baby induced because I had SPD, was on crutches, had reduced foetal movements and because it was clear he was a big baby. He actually weighed 10lb 5oz, even though he was early.

Do what's right for you. Your DH really doesn't get an opinion on this - and his family even less so.

He's not getting induced though - only you

I’ve had two inductions. Both absolutely fine, my advice is to keep moving and ask for wireless monitoring. Use the birthing ball, walk around and make sure you find a comfortable birthing position (I had my second standing up) Both of mine were quick deliveries and had no pain management so I’d definitely go into it thinking positively, they aren’t all horrific!

At the end of the day as long as you and the baby are safe that’s all that should matter

I'd say to him that you are being led by medical advice and that if you can use a natural method to get the birth going before then, all well and good.

But you are not ignoring strong medical advice on this. They are qualified to assess risk and you want the best for this baby. To put the baby at more risk because of a non medical opinion is in itself madness.

The advice the hospital has given is right. He needs to do a bit more medical research before making statements about your body and your choice.

What have i just read. Christ almighty.
What an absolute knob.
Follow the Dr advice.

I had a big baby- 9lbs 8 (I'm only 5ft) and had extra scans and late GD checks at 37weeks. I wasn't offered an induction but I had a very long labour (3 days) at full term with lots of intervention in the end. I'd rather have had an induction.

It's absolutely up to you of course and your DH and his family can get their noses out of your medical business, but in answer to some PP's questioning Doctors suggesting intervention when it's not required, I was offered the option to book a 38 week induction or elective c-section at my 20 week appointment, entirely on the basis that I was 40 years old, and despite having an absolute textbook pregnancy. At every appointment the consultants pushed me for induction, thankfully the midwives were advocates for the Woman's choice.

I had an induction and it was absolutely fine . My daughter had her child induced and again absolutely lovely,calm birth ! Remind husband that this is your body and until he poos a rugby ball he has no say about the birth. Weirdly most people would be guided by the professionals!

Ignore them. And take the doctors advice.

I was induced due to high blood pressure and it was overall a positive experience! We actually quite enjoyed packing our bags and getting a taxi to the hospital all calm and controlled and made sure the house was clean, had arranged dog care etc before we went in. I had the hormone drip and would recommend an epidural as the contractions can be very intense but overall I would be induced again if it was medically recommended and had no adverse effects from it. Best of luck!

Madness from your DH.

You requested positive induction stories: I had an induction at 42 weeks. I started labour very shortly after the pessary (no sweep due to COVID) and labour lasted only 5 hours, with no complications. There was no painful journey to the hospital and no guessing if it was time to go because it was prearranged.

I was nervous about induction having been told horror stories during nct classes, but in fact it was fine. And thank heavens I did have one because ds was born with a chest infection and needed treatment.

Good luck whatever you decide x

I had an induction put of necessity as dd's heartbeat wasn't reading properly. I gave birth to a healthy baby in just 45 minutes with only gas and air. I think if its been suggested you'd be mad not to opt for it. It is your choice. Dh sounds dreadful, is he also an anti vaxxer etc?

Tell him when he gets pregnant, carries the baby for 9 months and gives birth only then he has a say.

Previous posters have covered the husband and MIL aspect.

I had a positive induction and would do one again in a heartbeat.

I was induced due to reduced movements and my MS symptoms were flaring to the point I was getting no sleep at all. I was terrified of a relapse if I went to 41 weeks.

I had the pessary inserted at 1.30am, I woke a 6am with really intense contractions. Only issue I had was the midwife not believing me that they were contraction and being adamant my waters hadn't broken. Once I told her she needed to get a surgeon to me right away because if it wasn't my waters something had popped inside of me, she begrudgingly did a test. I was a FTM and I don't think she believed I could progress that quick.

Once the pessary was removed the contractions were so much more bearable. I progressed really quickly and despite a back to back labour I felt comfortable with just gas and air and a Tens machine.
My daughter was born at 7.58pm, unfortunately I did need an episiotomy and ventouse, I'd been pushing for 90 minutes but she just wouldn't come round the bend.

What I will say is I made a point of doing lots of walking right up to my induction, bouncing on the ball plus raspberry leaf tea and dates. Whether or not that helps I have no idea.

Your body, your choice, he has no say in this whatsoever.

@Peaceandquietandacuppa

he's anti medical interventions, alongside his entire family. My MIL is also very opinionated on my decision

Anti medical interventions in general? So if a child had cancer they wouldn't agree to the child receiving lifesaving treatment?

Or is it just adult women's bodily autonomy they don't care about?

We are so vulnerable in pregnancy. I couldn't continue a relationship with a man who so unkindly saw my body as so far removed from me as a human that he believed I was wrong to expect bodily autonomy once pregnant.

OP I had a similar experience to you in that I was induced for a small baby and really wanted a section after being in hospital with nothing happening for a week. My DH spent hours trying to talk me out of it because he didn’t want me to have one. The whole time I waited for theatre (over 12 hours!) he was trying to change my mind. It was so unhelpful because I knew my body, I knew what I would tolerate and I knew I did not want to continue. It ruined the birth experience for me tbh as I spent all that time in tears doubting myself.

I’m really glad I stood my ground. My DH was very apologetic in hindsight and can see how unhelpful he was. He thought he was doing the right thing by pushing me away from the section and advocating for the induction because I had wanted a natural birth, but he can see now that the induction was so far away from what I wanted to experience that I had changed my mind.

That’s probably not helpful but have you talked to him about why he’s so against the induction? Does he understand the implications for your baby if you don’t go ahead?

Edited as posted twice for some reason