Overwhelmed - Husband is against getting induced!

[kakashixxkillua]

Hi all! I'm currently 38w+0d today. We went to see a hospital consultant recently as my baby was plotting as big in the growth scans - 96th percentile. Note, I have no health risk or underlying medical issues, it's just baby is** measuring too large. The hospital consultant strongly urged I opt for either an induction or an elective c section, I went for the induction. It's all booked in for 39w (next Monday). DH couldn't make it to this appointment and so when I filled him in he was furious as he's anti medical interventions, alongside his entire family. My MIL is also very opinionated on my decision

Anyways, was just looking for some positive induction stories from you guys as I've been around a lot of negativity and criticism recently and started to regret my choice. Or is there a way I can naturally induce myself before 39w?

Thanks x

I don’t normally say this on here but…

tell him to FUCK RIGHT OFF.

If there’s anything I hate to hear the most is men making negative comments about childbirth. It’s the most overwhelming (though incredible) but also frightening, daunting and (generally) painful thing a woman will do and he comes out with that. What a wanker.

Oh and I had a large first baby which they were aware of from 28 weeks but failed to tell me! I asked to ve induced at 40 weeks (thank god) because of constant high BP and pain, she arrived the same day via ventouse delivery as she got stuck. Imagine if I hadn’t been induced.

Second baby was quite a bit smaller but I still chose to be induced at 39 weeks as placenta wasn’t as good and wouldn’t have lasted beyond 40 weeks, and again was in a lot of pain in my pelvis. I was at home all day and gave birth 20 minutes after arriving at the hospital. Job done!

Would show your husband the responses in this thread. Unless he’s an obstetrician or equivalent I’m not sure why he feels whatever he’s looked at on the internet is more significant than what a trained medical professional has recommended. They do not offer c sections willy nilly - your husband has failed to come to the appointment and is now unhappy with decisions you’re making for your body and your baby’s safety. Think he needs a smack in the head

Is the medical intervention refusal thing a religious objection? As everyone has said, your body means your decision. Bubbles to him and to his interfering mother. Hope all goes well for you and the baby.

I’d be telling my husband to take a running jump for himself … and MIL too! Saying that I was induced by an acupuncturist. It’s really effective and completely natural.

hes still not agreeing that you can deciide is he

what happens if you need pain relief will he try an stop you?

Here's your response. 'Are you or your fucking batshit crazy mother having this baby for me? No? So, neither of you get to make the decision for me.'

@kakashixxkillua
Thanks for all the advice everyone, it hasn't fallen on deaf ears. I spent the day having a serious talk with H to understand why he felt how he did. He explains MIL had an incredibly traumatic birth with his younger sibling & he doesn't want to see me go through the same. She's still holding onto that hurt from all those years ago. I firmly stated that it's my body my choice and I just want the best for our DC. He was apologetic but is still against the induction!

He still doesn't get it though, does he?!
So what if he's against the induction?!
It's not him giving birth, so it's absolutely fuck all to do with him!
I don't usually swear this much, but jeez tell him to piss off and shut the fuck up 😡😁
Explain to him like you would a toddler that it's very nice he's concerned about you, but in case he doesn't realise, you and MIL are not actually the same person.
You're you.

Birth can be traumatic regardless of the birth plan which usually gets flung out the window.

as for being unvaccinated bloody hell why?

your going to be in for a rough ride of it once the baby is here as he tries and overrides everything you want.

serious talks now before hand and tell him he wasn’t at his siblings birth (or was he) so how the hell does he know it was traumatic he’s only going by what his mother has said and she can butt the fuck out of it as she’s not giving birth this time and inductions and c sections are totally different now a days.

if sis is being a birth partner get her on side now to advocate for you and let the hospital know to more so if your husband keeps saying no to things. As this isn’t the best for baby or you.

My second baby was also extremely big, but I did have my own medical issues to contend with as well, and was told at 33 weeks that no-one wanted me to go beyond 38 weeks, but that I couldn't be induced any earlier than 37.
So I booked to go for induction at 37 weeks.
We arrived at the hospital and were told that all the midwives were busy with other mums at that time and to just get myself comfortable in my birthing room, and that they'd get to me ASAP.
Well, I got myself settled with a good book, ready for a long wait (I had been in dry labour with my first baby for 38 hours, then gone to hospital and had my waters broken, but I was still in labour for another 36 hours after that).
About an hour in, I needed to pee, so I took myself to the loo and my waters spontaneously broke (perfect timing) and I went straight into labour.
My bouncing baby boy was born naturally, almost 14 hours later, weighing in at 4.933kg (or 10lb 14oz) - OMG was I glad not to be carrying THAT bowling ball weight around in my belly for another 3+weeks after that!
Even the lady who came onto the ward with the Bounty packs, took one look at him and was going to bypass us, but I smiled at her and she said "you've already had your pack haven't you dear? Your baby looks about 2 months old!", and I said "no, he's only 9 hours old". The look on her face was priceless!

Does he realize how many women died in childbirth before effective medical intervention?

Even today it is one of the more dangerous things we do in our lives.

If your husband is against getting induced let him know he doesn't have to get induced.

You on the other hand can do whatever you feel will suit you best, especially under the guidance of professional medical opinion x

Good luck. My eldest was induced, it wasn't great fun, but she is now a giant 19 year old, so...

You realise if he objects to vaccination you're stuck unless you go to court?

The circumstances of the delivery of one of your MIL’s babies are completely different to the circumstances of anybody else’s delivery. Each case is unique.
Hers went wrong.
Your consultant is trying to ensure yours goes right.

Your DH has been conditioned by his mum whose judgement is stuck in the past because of her bad experience. She can’t get over it. Very sad for her. You can be sorry she went through it but this is a completely different set of circumstances and you would feel easier if she realised that this isn’t a re-run of her traumatic delivery, so unless she is highly qualified, can she please stop trying to influence your safety and well being.

I’m surprised a grown man can’t see common sense over this and still defers to his mum on the safe delivery of his own child.

The only person whose advice you should take is that of the professional who has training, knowledge, expertise, skill and experience of many deliveries. Follow your own instincts OP and that of the medical staff looking after you.
Sadly, the instincts of your DH aren’t reliable.

I don't normally say this, BUT, on this occasion... You need to get a grip on his stupidity. If you don't then I can't see the relationship lasting. You can't have constant arguments about your actual medical care, or that of your children. You are being advised on a medical issue, not on the colour of the walls in your living room. You tell him that you are being induced, that it's for medical reasons and if he doesn't like it he can lump it. Sorry to be blunt, but on this occasion I think it's necessary. BTW if he wants to be a pratt, just let him. But not you, or your child.

Well said!

This, totally your choice of course, but maybe get a second and a third opinion, I was told my baby was too big and she was tiny, another woman I know was told her baby was tiny because ' she was vegetarian', he cames out on 97th percentile. So often wrong

Four inductions, one of which became an emergency c-section as baby was huge.

All fine, and I have four healthy children. This would not have been the case without medical intervention.

You need to have someone with you who advocates for YOU. How you feel may change dramatically during the birth, and you need the confidence that whoever is with you is listening to you and not imposing their beliefs on your body.

I was induced on all 4 of my babies.
first 3 were two weeks late and fourth was due to a drop in his weight.
all went smoothly.

as Rachel would say, no uterus, no opinion.

tell him to fuck off.

@rainbow9713 I’m so sorry to hear about your tragic loss.
It must have taken an enormous amount of courage to have the others.
I think it’s easy for some of us to forget how dangerous birth can still be.

I was induced as my son was past his due date, and ended up with an emergency C-section. However, yours is due to your baby measuring big, which means natural labour may be difficult for you and distressing for the baby. If your husband and his family want to be 'high and mighty' over medical intervention, when it's their body involved, that's their choice. This is not their choice, their decision or body - it's yours. Your husband has absolutely no right to force his opinions onto you, at a vulnerable time, and guilt you into wanting to go against medical advice. Pregnancies and births are not like the movies, they don't always go to plan and what you/your husband may ideally like, may not happen. I didn't want an epidural, I wanted a water birth - I didn't get the water birth, ended up with an epidural and an emergency C-section, none of which was on my 'to-do' list!! You have to do what is safest for you and the baby, not what your husband wants! If he was my husband, I'd be telling him where he can stick his 'opinion'!

Oh, it certainly can but I'm not sure I'd recommend it!

I took it towards the end of my 3rd pregnancy, had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, ok they're not really painful but they do stop you in your tracks. Then had a checkup at the hospital two weeks before due date and was told I was partially dilated so had to go in. Had a very slow, rather drawn out labour with occasional contractions then DC3 arrived in a rush (that's another story!).
She was fine, average weight, so might have been 8 or 9 lbs at full term like her siblings.

I'd go with the doctors rather than raspberry leaf tea!

I could not be with someone this level of stupid.

You understand it will come up when you take your baby for vaccinations. When they get ill or injure themselves.

Have you also considered that your dh and mil will share their views with your child and that will influence their beliefs and the decisions they make.

And that they may tell your child you are wrong.

I was induced with my third. I had a pessary at around 10am, we waited , contractions started that night. I went into labour around 3am he was born at 5.30 am. No issues all good.

The hospitals seem to offer everyone inductions, I refused mine 3x (2 weeks before) and then gave in to their nagging, which I partially regret, just to stop their nagging, but labour comes on more quickly so body isnt ready yet and so feel the pain more intensely too.
anyway, when I asked the midwives, they told me that the only ways to bring on labour without being induced, is to either have intercourse, as the hormones in sperm can apparently trigger labour, (my partner was/is out of the country) so then they offer stretch and sweep.
hope this helps.
xx

*edit - They said my baby was between 75 & 95 Centile, but when born, was 9th Centile. If this is of any reassurance.
xx