Overwhelmed - Husband is against getting induced!

[kakashixxkillua]

Hi all! I'm currently 38w+0d today. We went to see a hospital consultant recently as my baby was plotting as big in the growth scans - 96th percentile. Note, I have no health risk or underlying medical issues, it's just baby is** measuring too large. The hospital consultant strongly urged I opt for either an induction or an elective c section, I went for the induction. It's all booked in for 39w (next Monday). DH couldn't make it to this appointment and so when I filled him in he was furious as he's anti medical interventions, alongside his entire family. My MIL is also very opinionated on my decision

Anyways, was just looking for some positive induction stories from you guys as I've been around a lot of negativity and criticism recently and started to regret my choice. Or is there a way I can naturally induce myself before 39w?

Thanks x

I was induced twice, both times due to high blood pressure. First time around, they did the induction first thing in the morning, I spent most of the day wandering around the hospital with gradually increasing contractions. Towards the end of the day they decided it wasn't going to happen and they would try again the following day and send DH home. I expressed concerns about how I was going to sleep as I was still getting transactions, they said I would be fine with a warm drink. However, when they did a trace they finally believed that I was having contractions and called DH back - he wasn't terribly impressed. Baby was born the next morning after a fairly eventful night, mostly because he was face first and not really moving, and ultimately it took an epidural, an episiotomy and forceps to get him out.

Second induction happened late afternoon after I'd been in hospital a few days with high blood pressure. It only took about an hour or two for the induction to start working, it was quite a quick labour with no further interventions and baby was born around 10 pm.

I hope yours is more like my second effort, OP, but first time around I suspect you'll take longer. Either way, don't be put off by your husband: both my babies were born fit and well and had no problems thereafter.

Christ. Another controlling arsehole with a controlling family as a bonus. Wish you well for the birth of your baby, I would take the advice of the doctor 100%.

As someone who experienced shoulder dystocia I would listen to the doctor.

Sounds like my ex. I declined induction ( I was an idiot, I was unduly influenced by his opinions, but that still makes me an idiot). Had a caesarean which I might not have needed if I’d followed medical advice in a timely fashion. The baby was fine thank goodness

Funnily enough years later after I’d left because my eyes were opened to how controlling, manipulative, lazy and abusive he was, he had a medical situation for which he got every medical intervention that he was advised to.

Im sure you’re in that lovely hormone bubble at the moment, but keep an eye out for yourself. Have a think about what would happen if you told him that after careful thought you are going to follow your consultant’s advice. If he says anything other than ‘ok, I’ve got your back’ then consider your options regarding your relationship.

Sorry if I’m projecting here, but please take care of yourself because there’s a lot of red flags.

Your husband is a stupid, stupid prick. My god, he’d rather put you and a baby at risk for his own selfish and ill-educated wants?

I have news for him. During pregnant and birth, he is a nobody. Persona non grata. Non-entity. He matters not. He gets no say. He’s not even entitled to be there.

What you say, what you want, that’s what happens. The medical team looking after you will have him removed from the building. Literally nothing entitles him to be in there, let alone have a say over your healthcare.

Fuck, I’m so sorry for you OP. You are so vulnerable to this awful behaviour.

So he would never take cancer treatment or medication etc???

I was induced with my second, I went into labour naturally with my first.

I was induced with my second as my first was large and got stuck during delivery.

My first labour was 36 hours, my second 12. There was no significant difference for me between my first and second labours, save that the second was more controlled and my baby didn’t get stuck.

Labour is very different from person to person and baby to baby. Do what is right for you and your baby. With all due respect you are the one giving birth, not your husband.

Is your Dh a doctor, obstetrician, or midwife?.is it his body at risk somehow by your decision?.
Unbelievable
.
I hope he has some redeeming factors

If he was a doctor he would not be ethically allowed to advise on his wife's treatment and, except in the event of obvious stupidity, would take medical advice. And probably wouldn't think being "natural" (whatever that is) is better than being alive.

Tongue was most definitely in cheek.

Of course he's not a doctor or midwife.

I was induced the first time. 34 hours later (after DS got stuck trying to deliver him) I had an emergency section. For DS2 I insisted on an elective C-section, much better experience.

It's your body it's your choice. There are risks in labour to your physical health and big babies can pose even higher risks, incontinence, pelvic pain, tears. Today I spoke to a woman who had to give up a physical career due to complications during labour.

So it's you not him who must make that choice. I have had two inductions, one went well and one not as well. I found contractions to be very intense, I would suggest an epidural too as soon as because the contractions can come on quickly. The one which went well was relatively pain free (epidural), quick, though needed assistance at the end with forceps. My second was more painful without epidural until the end. I needed forceps again. But both I was up and about quickly after and crucially my babies were delivered safe and healthy.

What are his medical qualifications? What are your MIL’s medical qualifications? I would be surprised if their views are as valid as a consultant’s.

I know. Just pointing out that the more he knew the less likely he would be to interfere. There is a tendency for the deeply ignorant to have strong opinions on things they don't understand.

Well OP I'm furious at your husband just reading this. He needs to wind his fucking neck in right now. He does not get to overrule you or the doctor on this.

All three of mine were induced and it was fine every time. They didn't use the pessary on me - sounds like that can be painful - but the drip did what was needed.

What happens once the baby is born and needs medical intervention? I think you need to make clear NOW that your intuitions and doctors' advice cound for more than his doctrinaire opinions. And his family can eff right off.
Good luck, unironically.

Oh, something else: labour sitting/standing up as much as possible. Gravity helps. xx

Listen to re advice of your doctor. As my DH would say, is your DH a doctor? No, so he is not specialized and does not get a say in it. I had an induction and as baby was looking the wrong way, down instead of up, I got an epidurale, due to the back contractions, and baby was delivered using forceps and they had to give me a little incision with the siscors. If my DH would not have believed in medical intervention, our child would most probably have died during childbirth, as his heartbeat was the cause of the induction. I would have died as well due to severe complications as I had to be operated directly as my placenta was not coming out and as a result I suffered complications and had to stay. 2 weeks in the hospital. My DH was there every day to advocate for me as was my MIL there to help me and bathe me as my DP live not in the same country as I. Your DH needs to understand that childbirth can be risky, lead to complications and that he as your DH needs to advocate for you when you are too ill to do it yourself. That is the least he can do for the woman that he lives and who carries his child. The procedure chosen needs to take into account risks and optimalize the succesfull outcome of given birth for both mother and child, not optimalize an old fashioned dangerous idea that your doctor has clearly adviced against

No one has the right to tell you what to do with your uterus.

When your husband is able to get pregnant, carry a baby for 9 months and finds a way to self induce, he can have an opinion. Against medical intervention? What happens if there's an emergency? Is he against it then?

It's your body and your choice even if DH disagrees.
However growth scans are very in accurate and inductions at 39 weeks don't have a great success rate. I would probably have opted for waiting and hoping to go into labour naturally

Hi OP, admittedly I haven't read 12 pages of replies but felt compelled to comment as reading this upset me on your behalf.
How dare your DH try to guilt trip you into going against something you were clearly happy with when soaking to doctors and leaving the hospital.
I'm sorry but, no uterus, no opinion. This may be his baby too but it is your body. You decide the what, the how, the where, the pain relief....all you.
I'd be upset in your position. He should be by your side fully supporting any decision you make, not pushing his mothers views onto you fgs.
Good luck OP. Trust your gut, you know what is best

It’s none of your husband’s business whether you get induced or not, nor his family. I would have opted for a C section

What’s going to happen during the birth if your DH is anti-intervention? If you want an epidural or other analgesia will it cause problems? Are you happy to have him there if he’s “furious” about this? If you want to ask him to leave at any point then do so & think about a back up or alternative birth partner if you’re worried - staff will back you

Growth scans at this gestation are only about 50% accurate.

It baby isn’t ready then it will lead to a c-section so be aware of that.

I have a friend who went in for a growth scan at 40 weeks. She was told she was due a 10lb baby, scared her into thinking a section was the only way to guarantee her son be delivered alive only for him to weigh 8lb1. She said the recovery was really difficult too.

It’s worth thinking about. All the birthing companies I follow are adamant that your body will not grow a baby too big for it.

Whilst your husband may have an opinion, he has absolutely no right to be "furious" about your decision. It is your body and you have to decide what is best, based on medical advice.

Would he also be against you having an epidural if you wanted one? Both my children were induced and they were fine, as was I. In those days, epidurals were not available but if they had been I would have opted for one.